Ramblings of a Mad Woman!

Samoens12

At least thats how it feels!

I've known I have money problems for a while but tried to deal with them in small ways rather than seeing the bigger picture - always expecting that next week business will pick up and sales will improve but they never had. I should have planned better for this but now its time to face up to the issues and deal with them. The trouble is the situation seems to be changing all the time and dont know which way to jump.

The issue is causing me so many sleepless nights, I am working full-time and trying to still manage a business so hence the ramblings of a mad woman!

I'm not going to post much just now as I need to get off to work but I promised starting the diary would be one of the things I would do to sort this mess so this is just the start of that. Later I will post more of my story and we will take it from there.

Expect more ramblings!

Bobarella

Hi there
Have followed you over from Starting Agains diary. As with her, I understand up to a point, what you are going through as well. I have 1 business which I set up 3 years ago, & I've had so many ups and downs with it. I understand so much of what you both say about the feelings of uselessness when you cant pay people, including staff, & the fear of picking up the phone.
At one point I got into a very scary place where my electricity supplier were phoning me every day leaving me scary messages. My solution was to disable my voicemail, and I've actually never gone back to having it as I hate having to listen to messages. But I ended up having to repay the money anyway. Fortunately for me they didnt take legal action & were actually very sympathetic, but it took for me to get passed on to their final chances team (nice name hey) & assign me a debt manager, before I felt the sympathy. The standard sales people just hound you.
All I can say, having come out of the last bout of all of this business related debt, & now wobbling along trading again (my business shut for 6 months due to a serious incident) I would recommend
1) Talking to people a lot sooner - I really wish I hadnt let things go so far with the energy bill, or the inland revenue. Since making deals with both I feel so much calmer & in control.
2) Trying to see the little things that are good daily - When I was at my most anxious & hemmed in, I even had thoughts about accidentally driving my car into the oncoming traffic. Terrible thoughts really. I dont know how close I ever was to the edge, but now I try & focus every day on the little things that are important. Noticing when my son has got more freckles from the sun, taking time to stroke my cat, 5 mins peace with a cup of tea. It wont fix your problems but it can relax you a bit.

3) Posting here. I dont talk to many people IRL about my situation because I feel so far removed from their way of life. I used to be a high earner, & do all the things like never having to really worry about how I was going to put food on the table, go abroad etc. Since opening the business, its a big deal for me if I go out for a coffee at the weekend. I can barely plan 1 day ahead at the moment. And I have to micro manage our accounts. Because of that I feel very alone at times. I dont feel like any of my old friends understand why I keep bashing my head against this at times, & it has isolated me. I therefore keep coming here, because we are all in the same boat up to a certain degree & talking of any sort, virtual or not, helps.

Anyway, I've subscribed. Nice to meet you.

Bob

Samoens12

Bob - thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I understand all you say and more - I was on the motorway yesterday and at one point accelerated towards the back of a lorry.. I think that was one of my LBM!

I've turned off the answerphone at work and I dread the phone ringing. I am a bit better now that I am working full time out of the business. I took the step of phoning Business Debtline again today and although they can't tell me what to do it has made things a little clearer. I've kept trying to sort things, be optimistic and now is the time to take action. I have kind of set myself a deadline of two weeks to get a sale on the business or to accept the offer that has been made of an assignment of the lease (to someone who I really dont want getting hold of it grrrr!!)

This will draw a line under how much I owe as everytime we have a quiet day (like today) my debt increases. Not selling will leave me with hefty debts but I will at least know where I am.

I shall continue to post here, I will add more detail to the diary as to how I got here and how I shall deal with it and I will look forward to chats with you - feel free to rant or vent - I'm good at listening!

Samoens12

Short Biography

I'm an almost 50 woman with two grown-up kids and a grandson. I had a fairly lucrative career in the food industry before deciding to have a go at owning my own business - and thats another very long story in this rambling diary!

I was married young and divorced again 10 years later with a 4 year old to support. My husband then was controlling and abusive so I left the marital home and had to rent privately - so things were extremely tough so I can budget and live on nothing. We had no TV, no washing machine but life was OK.

We muddled on alone for another 10 years and in this time I bought my (almost) dream home. Then along came husband number 2 and we married 6 years ago. He has a daughter too. We've now been married 6 years and life was pretty good. I was working in the food industry and travelling all over the country. Staying hotels every night of the week soon pales and I started to look to buy my own business. Christmas Eve 2006 I was up a mountain on a family holiday when the phone rang with a problem in one of the factories and an issue with a big retailer. I was basically asked if I would lie to solve a problem and this sealed the deal on my move to self-employment. I didn't lie but tried to resolve the situation but when we came home New Years Eve I got on the internet and found my business. I viewed it once and discounted it due to price but couldnt get it out of my mind so then made a cheeky offer which I thought was nearer the value and it was accepted.Three months later I was the proud owner with keys in my hand and a dustcloud following the former owner as she beat a very hasty retreat without the promised week long handover!

Right thats me and some of what has got me into this mess - next chapter French France and another bit of bad luck!

Bobarella

Hi there
Really enjoyed reading your back story. I think the common quality people who end up in our situations share is a 'he who dares wins' attitude. And sometimes that stands you in old stead and other times it turns around and bites you on the a@@
I look forward to reading more, & really hope you can turn this around.

bob

judi24

Hi Samoens - I don't have any words of wisdom really but just wanted to say hello - I can empathise with the single parent with controlling husband bit as I have been there and bought the t shirt (twice almost 3 times!!) glad you found your second husband! I have never had my own business but can definitely see the appeal - it must be really sad to have tried it and it not work out!


Looking forward to the next part in your instalment

Samoens12

Thanks for all of your messages so far - this writing is quite cathartic so I am glad you are enjoying reading it too! I must not let it distract from dealing with things though so if you see me getting side-tracked will you please give me a kick up the @@@@!

OK in 2004 we decided to have a look at buying a house in France - like many people did. We had spotted a little known area that we fell in love with and prices were good. The first property we looked at could have been bought on a credit card! (we didn't - don't worry!)

Anyway as always when looking around you start to get bigger and better ideas and we even discussed a move to France to run the ubiquitous Gite and I was really keen on this idea. We finally found a beautiful old farmhouse with lots of garden and outbuildings in a small and very welcoming village. The house cost us €110,000 and we just kept thinking this would have cost us over half a million in the UK. Anyway I was besotted with the place and we visited often and spent many hours renovating, drinking wine and making lots of new friends. All was good.

DH then started investigating potential schemes for pension funds. He identified a scheme in France called Leaseback. This involves you buying a property off plan - with a nice rebate on the VAT from the French government provided you lease the property back to a holiday company for 11 years under a commercial lease. During this time they pay you a guaranteed rent each quarter, you pay co-proprietors fees and all is good. Sounded like a good investment, we could sell up or rent out ourselves at the end of the 11 years and we would have an apartment we could use for an annual ski trip. So in 2004 we signed up for the apartment and in 2005 did the same for a small cottage in Brittany. We were both earning good money, we could afford the mortgages and we also got income towards the mortgage. We could see an early retirement on the cards :-)

Now fast forward to 2007 and I buy my business and my salary disappears. We tick along OK with me bearing most of the costs for France and the house as my husband had had a hiccup in his career but was back earning - I was just taking the pressure off. What I didnt realise was that his salary was increasing (we have separate bank accounts - hang over from divorces on both parts) but I was starting to use credit cards for everyday expenses. We redressed the balance after a while but I had already started the cycle that it is so difficult to get out of.

Out of the blue we suddenly get a French bailliff at our door issuing paperwork. It would seem that the notaire had made a mistake on the purchase of the ski apartment and we owed a further €10 000. We tried to contest this but the language barrier and a lack of money for expensive legal battle meant we accepted the inevitable and they took our rent to clear the debt. (Only 3 more payments to go now)

Now comes the fun bit - the financial crisis really starts to bite in France and no-one wants to go on holiday. No-one staying in the apartments means the holiday company has no income - so guess what no "guaranteed" rent payments. The holiday company goes into administration, we don't get paid but we still have to find the money for the mortgage. cue more money being stripped out of my business and the overuse of the credit cards and a secured loan to reschedule some of the debts. You can see where this is all going can't you?

After two years the company comes out of administration, we are getting our rents paid again and we are nearer the end of the commercial lease so can decide on the next course of action.

As for the farmhouse - time to visit has dwindled due to the business commitments so we decide to let it to long-term tenants. The first were fantastic - spoilt us for what was to come really. The second were mediocre and when they left we thought we would market it. We had a valuation and it was worth less than we paid so when we were offered a three year tenancy we thought fantastic - get some money in and sell in three years time and in a better market. The english couple - retired - seemed perfect and so keen to move in. It seems they were just as keen to move out secretly four months later flitting off to Spain owing us €1200. I am now trying to get the house on the market - it may be worth less than we paid but it is worth more than the outstanding mortgage and will mean a lump sum to deal with some of the other issues should we get a buyer.

So folks theres this mornings instalment - I'll follow up with the ups and downs of a coffee shop owner next - then we can get on to what I'm gonna do about this mess!

Brogden

I'm looking forward to your next 'ramble!'

Your posts are so very interesting though I have never had any 'overseas experiences' to compare.....nor have I run my own business !!

I think in my current uncertain employment state I like looking at the wider picture if you know what I mean and reading about different experiences. Your posts are beautifully written so I hope you don't mind if I follow you along......wishing you all the best at the same time .

Brogden

sassychick2014

Hi

Love reading another mad woman's ramblings as I'm a bit of a rambler myself!

Although I haven't had experience abroad either I did own my own business at one point. I set it up from scratch and although it was successful there just wasn't any money coming in.

While wondering what to do a conversation came up with a friend who also owns her own company (and doing way better than I ever could!) and I commented that I could do something better than so called professionals. One of her clients wanted that service, I put in a proposal..... 4 years later I'm now freelance and I've had many ups and downs - including last year when my total income came in at under £600 per month!! - but have now got 2 big clients that I do through my friends business (resulting in them being her biggest clients and she still doesn't know how to do what I do!!). It was a total fluke and although I'm enjoying some money this year I know it won't always last.

I'm still paying one of the debts from my failed business but am now managing them all and making overpayments on some. My proper LBM on money management came last year when just after booking a holiday of a lifetime for me and my daughter I lost virtually all my contracts yet still managed to save for the holiday + spends, keep a roof over our heads, food on the table etc plus pay slightly more than the minimum on my debts. This last year has proved to me if I can do that on no money I can do anything this year.

Anyway, told you I like to ramble! lol Have subscribed and will keep an eye on how you're doing. Writing things down always make things seem less scary.

Have a great day

Bobarella

Wow that sounds very tumultuous indeed!

As a fellow coffee shop owner I will be doubly interested to hear part 2!

Samoens12

Brogden and sassychick - welcome aboard the madtrain! Hold on tight it maybe a bumpy ride!