Child Support Amount

happilydivorcedagain

Sorry if this is posted in wrong place, please move if needed.

I am expecting, the Father and I are no longer together but are civil and want to stay that way.
We have no spoke about child support as yet and I would like the opinion of others before we do.
I will be looking after the baby full time, he will visit and spend as much time as he wants with his child but there will be no over night stays for a very long time nor will I be leaving him to mind the baby as I plan on breastfeeding. This is also what he wants too as he has little experience with children apart from sometimes acting like one himself.

He works full time, good, stable job, low household costs of his own and his weekly income before his bills is approx £300 after tax and insurance.

My circumstances will be ESA, Tax credits and Family allowance with a shortfall in my rent per month of approx £150. This is the cheapest housing I can find in my area.

I have used a calculator online and it is saying around £30 per week. Is that a fair amount to ask for and also is that a fair amount for me to receive?

Thanks

shoe*diva79

The CMS calc is very accurate if you know his annual salary as maintenance is now worked out as a % of gross pay so if you have input the details correct then £30 would sound about reasonable.

happilydivorcedagain

Many thanks Shoediva x

happilydivorcedagain

Oh I had calculated his pay on the calculator after contributions instead of before. It now states approx £46 per week. I don't want to seem like I'm financially crippling him but I'll be on a low income and paying for all baby costs. We have agreed that he will give me "a couple of hundred" towards starter things for baby, cot, pram... I will be buying mostly used

Homeownertobe

Is there a possibility of you getting a job to help support this child in the future? Perhaps in the evenings when the father could look after the child?

happilydivorcedagain

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Is there a possibility of you getting a job to help support this child in the future? Perhaps in the evenings when the father could look after the child?

Unfortunately with my medical conditions I can't see that happening. Whilst I would have adored to go back to employment, as I worked since I left school up until a couple of years ago, any employed would see I was a hard worker but unreliable because of medical stuff that I have going on.

That is not to say in the future, if I can be at a good level within my health, I would be back at work straight away.

duchy

happilydivorcedagain wrote: »

My circumstances will be ESA, Tax credits and Family allowance with a shortfall in my rent per month of approx £150. This is the cheapest housing I can find in my area.

I have used a calculator online and it is saying around £30 per week. Is that a fair amount to ask for and also is that a fair amount for me to receive?

Thanks

You haven't mentioned Housing Benefit -any reason why you wouldn't be claiming this ?

pmlindyloo

If you are receiving HB then once the baby is born you will be eligible for the two bed rate of local housing allowance.

If you are on income based ESA then you will be eligible for a maternity grant and healthy start help

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/maternity-paternity-leave-benefits.aspx

Savvy_Sue

It's probably worth discussing this with him sooner rather than later, ie while you're still civil. And it could be worth suggesting that HE looks at the calculators for himself.

Also bear in mind that all you can do at the moment is calculate on his current salary. What are his future prospects like? Are you planning to review?

happilydivorcedagain

Thank you all so much!

I will be able to claim a 2 bed rate of housing benefit with a shortfall of approx £150. This is depending what is available at the time but it will be the cheapest in the area, a radius of 15 miles, I can't move any further as I need family support.

His job is secure, he has a trade and works for a good company but there really isn't any promotion for that job. He can and does work from home when he can, this is just cash based and he does not declare it.

I am seeing him in a weeks time and I will talk about it with him then and pass on the info from cms. £30 per week, which is less than the calculator shows, would be acceptable with me as I think its fair.

I am eligible for the Sure Start Grant which will be a massive help. I have been doing my homework online, local selling groups on Facebook and charity shops. Apart from a few things that must be bought brand new, I am more than happy with good quality used.

FBaby

What's most important is that you build some sort of relationship that means the best not for either you nor him but your child. At the moment, your child feels like your belonging and he probably sees it like that too. However, a new human being is going to be born with their own needs that might be different to either yours or his dad.

That means that you and his dad might at times need to do things that you don't agree with because it is best for the baby. That might mean his father having to contribute a bit more as much as it could mean you accepting that that baby needs to be build a relationship with his father.

Bonding is a very important stage of learning what it is to be a parent and to become the parent any child deserves. It is hard enough for men who only get to see their baby in the evenings/week-ends in their normal environment when they have control of what they do with their baby, let alone for a man who only gets to see their baby a couple of hours there and then, not being given the chance to take part in the activities that normal parents would do, and always under the control of the mother, especially a lad with no experience before.

I can only advise that for the sake of your baby, you do everything to can to support your ex through that process of bonding with his child so they can build a strong and lasting relationship that will give the best chance for your child to grow into an emotional secure child regardless of the fact that his parents have never been together since his birth.