Elderly Dad - cataract operation - aftercare

[Deleted User]

Update - Well he had the op yesterday. Too mobile this time - just refused to turn it on! :-( Lot of good that was.

So he just called me from phone. "I'm home are you coming up?" "Dad - Im in work two hours away its not the simple I told you this. Wife is working this pm". Cue strop on.

Now hes also trying to dictate I turn up at 9am Saturday then and make sure I don't bring the baby with me because hes got things for me to do. Jeez sometimes hes got such a cheek..... Nightmare at times he is.

Not quite sure why brother who lives 5 mins away is out of the picture here mind.

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];69609861]
I guess isnt as easy to manipulate as me![/QUOTE]

This is what you have to work on if your Dad isn't going to continue to stress you out!

[Deleted User]

Mojisola wrote: »

This is what you have to work on if your Dad isn't going to continue to stress you out!

Oh yes. I'm sure my brother tells him little white lies to get out of things sometimes like Im working when Im sure hes not. But perhaps Im the dull one.

Not sure I like doing that but sometimes... Especially like now when he demands I drop everyone else and put his needs first last and always.

Anyway got brother there in the morning now. Dad had told me he urgently needed shopping etc. Turns out what he really wanted was someone to go to betting shop for him. Urgent then!

[Deleted User]

Well hes out of hospital. Spent a week there. Had me running around visiting him (if you remember its miles away).

Even when he was out he expected me to visit. Hes ok now all healed but I've now had to put my foot down and say no I can't visit.

I was in hospital myself unexpectedly on monday. Meant a few days off work (I dont get paid!).

Dad had a right go at me saying I need to slow down a bit, not work so much, tell my wife she needs to think about giving up work.

And he even had the cheek to tell me I'm greedy and its not all about money. This is the guy whos got £1000s in the bank and refuses to spend a penny to make his or everyone elses life easier!

I nearly exploded I must admit. Told him yes I was stressed and busy because I'd been running around after him for weeks! I just dont get how he cant see this.....

And to think he has a right to comment on what myself and my wife do is beyond. We've had arguments in the past about his 'comments' like this - I'm 47 years old I don't need his opinion on how to run my life. Especially from my Dad who in general is completely clueless and acts like its the 1950s still.

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

heartbreak_star

Hope you're OK now Paul. Sorry to hear your Dad is being as stubborn as ever.

HBS x

[Deleted User]

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Hope you're OK now Paul. Sorry to hear your Dad is being as stubborn as ever.

HBS x

Yes Im OK now. Not so good when you don't get paid when you're not in work though lol.

He really is priceless though. A LOT of the reason Im so stressed is because of his stubborness and demands. Like I said, a LOT of them could be sorted by him making an effort.

For instance, last weekend I had to drive over (30-40 mins each way) to take him shopping. I suggested asda delivery - no way am I ever paying to get shopping delivered when its free to get yourself. Right like my petrol to get to you was free was it?

I dont mind helping him when he NEEDS it. AT ALL. The cost of the petrol is not an issue. Being forced to do something because hes got an idea in his head is not so good. Saving him £3 for me to have hours of travelling is not cool (He wont even let me pay the £3).

This weekend I've said no Im not coming over. If you need shopping, I'll sort out home delivery. Ive had to tell him hospital have told me not to drive (they did but only for a day or two).

I feel so awful having to tell him these white lies but if I didnt I dont know where it'd end.

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];69745102]
He really is priceless though. A LOT of the reason Im so stressed is because of his stubborness and demands. Like I said, a LOT of them could be sorted by him making an effort.

For instance, last weekend I had to drive over (30-40 mins each way) to take him shopping. I suggested asda delivery - no way am I ever paying to get shopping delivered when its free to get yourself. Right like my petrol to get to you was free was it?[/QUOTE]

Hard as it is to say no to him, you didn't have to drive over and take him shopping.

You are going to end up sick and out of work if you don't start putting yourself and your wife before your father's demands.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

Hard as it is to say no to him, you didn't have to drive over and take him shopping.

You are going to end up sick and out of work if you don't start putting yourself and your wife before your father's demands.

I completely agree with this. You know you didn't have to do it, so why did you do it? He has so much power over you at the moment but he doesn't have to, you can free yourself if you want to.

heartbreak_star

I can understand - my old nan was a bit like this and you do feel guilty.

HBS x

Ms_Chocaholic

You need to think of excuses why you can't visit so often .... the battery is dead on the car, I've got a flat, my wife's not well and I need to look after the children, we've had a leak and I'm waiting for the plumber, my house has burnt down!