Daughter is in no mans land help needed

LPH39

Hi All, hoping to get some help regarding an awkward situation my 18 year old daughter is in.


She's not lived at home with us since she was 15, she lived with her grandma in Manchester. Once she left high school she went straight to college, and became a full time student. She also has a job in a supermarket doing 20 hours a week (but is contracted to 15) and earns £600 per month. Her grandma was claiming tax credits and child benefits for her.


Out of the blue I got a call a few weeks ago saying she'd moved in with her partners family. The house is already crowded but her partners Mum invited her to live there, completely ignorant of what would happen next. Obviously I am quite upset about not having been told before she moved in as I would have seen this coming.


What happened next: My daughters (paternal) grandma, the unpleasant woman that she is, was so delighted that my daughter had found somewhere else to live that she packed my daughters bags and said she could not come back again if it all went wrong (nice eh?) She then, within a week, cancelled the tax credits for my daughter and the child benefit. The grandmother effectively abandoned her because she doesn't agree with my daughters lifestyle choice (homosexual). She is still a full time student so therefore not financially independent, and as she does not live with me I am unable to claim any benefits to keep her.


I've spoken to her partners Mum who is happy for her to live there and support her emotionally until she goes to Uni in September, and even though at the moment she's earning her keep doing housework and babysitting very soon she will start wanting a contribution from my daughter. My questions are:


Can the lady who my daughter lives with now claim child benefit and tax credits for my daughter even though she is not a child of the family? how long roughly would this tax to sort out?


Are there any benefits my daughter could claim in her own right rather than a non family member claiming benefits for her?


What will change in terms of benefit entitlement (to child benefit or child tax credits) when/if she goes to Uni in September?


What assistance with housing needs would she get if her relationship with partner broke down or the partners mother didn't want her there anymore?


Please do not judge me for the fact my daughter does not live with me or her father, its very complicated and historical problem that cannot be resolved. What I'm looking for here is advice how to sort the financial aspects out as quickly and easily as possible


Thanks in advance for help

fabforty

LPH39 wrote: »

Hi All, hoping to get some help regarding an awkward situation my 18 year old daughter is in.


She's not lived at home with us since she was 15, she lived with her grandma in Manchester. Once she left high school she went straight to college, and became a full time student. She also has a job in a supermarket doing 20 hours a week (but is contracted to 15) and earns £600 per month. Her grandma was claiming tax credits and child benefits for her.


Out of the blue I got a call a few weeks ago saying she'd moved in with her partners family. The house is already crowded but her partners Mum invited her to live there, completely ignorant of what would happen next. Obviously I am quite upset about not having been told before she moved in as I would have seen this coming.


What happened next: My daughters (paternal) grandma, the unpleasant woman that she is, was so delighted that my daughter had found somewhere else to live that she packed my daughters bags and said she could not come back again if it all went wrong (nice eh?) She then, within a week, cancelled the tax credits for my daughter and the child benefit. The grandmother effectively abandoned her because she doesn't agree with my daughters lifestyle choice (homosexual). She is still a full time student so therefore not financially independent, and as she does not live with me I am unable to claim any benefits to keep her.


I've spoken to her partners Mum who is happy for her to live there and support her emotionally until she goes to Uni in September, and even though at the moment she's earning her keep doing housework and babysitting very soon she will start wanting a contribution from my daughter. My questions are:


Can the lady who my daughter lives with now claim child benefit and tax credits for my daughter even though she is not a child of the family? how long roughly would this tax to sort out?


Are there any benefits my daughter could claim in her own right rather than a non family member claiming benefits for her?


What will change in terms of benefit entitlement (to child benefit or child tax credits) when/if she goes to Uni in September?


What assistance with housing needs would she get if her relationship with partner broke down or the partners mother didn't want her there anymore?


Please do not judge me for the fact my daughter does not live with me or her father, its very complicated and historical problem that cannot be resolved. What I'm looking for here is advice how to sort the financial aspects out as quickly and easily as possible


Thanks in advance for help

I don't know the answer to your questions, sorry, but for someone who doesn't want to be judged, you sound very judgemental about the woman who raised your daughter for the past three years. You don't say how old she is, but perhaps caring for a teenager at her time of life was more than she could cope with.
Back to the original question, is there a student counsellor or welfare officer at your daughter's college - they should be able to advise her of what options are available.

shegirl

She earns £600 a month, why can she not pay some keep out of that?

Of course her grandmother cancelled the claims if she expects her to stay there, she is no longer entitled to them! Grab can't be that bad if she's been looking after her for 3 years instead of the girls parents...

It may prove difficult for the family to claim for her as proof may be required of her actually living with them. They have no legal responsibility/residence. Not sure how it would work tbh and in any case it's only 3 months and your daughter is earning so she won't be without.

As for benefits for your daughter to claim in her own right, again she is earning £600 a month so I don't think she'd be entitled to anything.

You cannot claim child benefit and child tax credits for someone who is at uni. The claims her grandmother had would've stopped on 31st August anyway.

She may be temporarily housed by the council if it comes to that. Likely in a B&B or hostel type place (possibly).

Surely she can use some of her wages for keep over the next couple of months? Surely you've been paying maintenance for her? If not, maybe you should,it's only 3 months...

I'm sure she can manage

pmlindyloo

LPH39 wrote: »

Hi All, hoping to get some help regarding an awkward situation my 18 year old daughter is in.


She's not lived at home with us since she was 15, she lived with her grandma in Manchester. Once she left high school she went straight to college, and became a full time student. She also has a job in a supermarket doing 20 hours a week (but is contracted to 15) and earns £600 per month. Her grandma was claiming tax credits and child benefits for her.


Out of the blue I got a call a few weeks ago saying she'd moved in with her partners family. The house is already crowded but her partners Mum invited her to live there, completely ignorant of what would happen next. Obviously I am quite upset about not having been told before she moved in as I would have seen this coming.


What happened next: My daughters (paternal) grandma, the unpleasant woman that she is, was so delighted that my daughter had found somewhere else to live that she packed my daughters bags and said she could not come back again if it all went wrong (nice eh?) She then, within a week, cancelled the tax credits for my daughter and the child benefit. The grandmother effectively abandoned her because she doesn't agree with my daughters lifestyle choice (homosexual). She is still a full time student so therefore not financially independent, and as she does not live with me I am unable to claim any benefits to keep her. As long as you can show that you pay the CB to her then you can claim CB for her. However, whether you are still eligible for CB depends on the circumstances of her partner. If her partner is still in FT qualifying education then you can probably claim. If the partner's mother claims for her then, in theory, she may be eligible. Suspect it would take some considerable time to sort out.


I've spoken to her partners Mum who is happy for her to live there and support her emotionally until she goes to Uni in September, and even though at the moment she's earning her keep doing housework and babysitting very soon she will start wanting a contribution from my daughter. My questions are:


Can the lady who my daughter lives with now claim child benefit and tax credits for my daughter even though she is not a child of the family? how long roughly would this tax to sort out?


Are there any benefits my daughter could claim in her own right rather than a non family member claiming benefits for her?


What will change in terms of benefit entitlement (to child benefit or child tax credits) when/if she goes to Uni in September?


What assistance with housing needs would she get if her relationship with partner broke down or the partners mother didn't want her there anymore?


Please do not judge me for the fact my daughter does not live with me or her father, its very complicated and historical problem that cannot be resolved. What I'm looking for here is advice how to sort the financial aspects out as quickly and easily as possible


Thanks in advance for help

I agree with the other poster that earning £600 a month gives her ample money to 'pay her keep' instead of claiming from the state.

If she has to find her own accommodation then she may be eligible for some help with HB and CT reduction. She will need to lodge/find a bedsit but worry about this if it happens.

brewthebear

What do u want surely your paying towards her keep whilst she is still classed as a minor ?PARENT.... yea and how much do you think she needs off the state on top of her £600 makes me laugh asking for help when she,s ok earning why do people automatically think everyone can claim something.....

LPH39

Ok, I was hoping to get some actual help on here, about things I know nothing about.


£600 a month is not enough for a person to live on when you take into account the cost of travel to and from uni and work, food, clothing, accommodation and necessities. Sometimes she works until midnight and has to get a taxi home for her own safety its a very rough area. I have every right to judge her grandmother, she has washed her hands of her granddaughter because she is gay. She also didn't give anyone any warning of what she was about to do until I turned up to complete the university funding application and she told me then. And that is only a drop in the ocean compared to some things she has said and done in the past.


Despite the fact my daughter has not lived with me for a few years I have been a supportive parent, I have contributed financially and supported her emotionally with EVERYTHING despite the fact I am disabled myself with a badly autistic child in the family so I cannot work. What little I have had she has been given. I did not throw her out we were forced into making the decision for her to live elsewhere for the safety and wellbeing of my other three young children. As a parent I had a duty to ensure they were safe and cared for and I could not do that due to my older daughters actions at the time.


So people. whilst you are all so happy to make judgements on the situation you actually know absolutely nothing about it, I came here for help and got pulled to pieces. Go to hell the lot of you.


And thank you PMlindylou for the help you tried to give.

Blackpool_Saver

Come back, I am NOT judging you love, and neither will others who will post after me. So please come back and get the help you need.

Blackpool_Saver

I have read some of your other posts, I also hope you are well enough to be back at work yourself.

tomtontom

If your daughter's behaviour was sufficiently bad that she had to leave your home, what has the grandma had to put up with? You really are in no position to judge someone that has given your daughter for three years. I'd be buying her a holiday!

£600 is more than a young person reliant on benefits would get. If she can't manage on that plus the money you apparently give her then she needs help with budgeting.

Andypandyboy

Surely it will be £600 plus her student loans/grant? I think that is ample to live on. Also, during the holidays she can probably up her hours.

missbiggles1

LPH39 wrote: »

Ok, I was hoping to get some actual help on here, about things I know nothing about.


£600 a month is not enough for a person to live on when you take into account the cost of travel to and from uni and work, food, clothing, accommodation and necessities. Sometimes she works until midnight and has to get a taxi home for her own safety its a very rough area. I have every right to judge her grandmother, she has washed her hands of her granddaughter because she is gay. She also didn't give anyone any warning of what she was about to do until I turned up to complete the university funding application and she told me then. And that is only a drop in the ocean compared to some things she has said and done in the past.


Despite the fact my daughter has not lived with me for a few years I have been a supportive parent, I have contributed financially and supported her emotionally with EVERYTHING despite the fact I am disabled myself with a badly autistic child in the family so I cannot work. What little I have had she has been given. I did not throw her out we were forced into making the decision for her to live elsewhere for the safety and wellbeing of my other three young children. As a parent I had a duty to ensure they were safe and cared for and I could not do that due to my older daughters actions at the time.


So people. whilst you are all so happy to make judgements on the situation you actually know absolutely nothing about it, I came here for help and got pulled to pieces. Go to hell the lot of you.


And thank you PMlindylou for the help you tried to give.

But she hasn't started at university yet - when she does she'll be eligible for student funding!