Advice Please. Want to buy house from Mum but can't afford London prices.

Red-Squirrel_2

Sorry to be pessimistic, but this sounds like a great big mess and a huge family falling out waiting to happen. You seem to resent the fact that your mum and siblings aren't falling over themselves to provide you with a house at their expense!

Wouldn't it be much simpler to just sort out your own housing like the vast majority have to? Whether that's renting or buying in a location you can actually afford. If you actually like your siblings and want your children to have good relationships with them then surely no house is worth risking that?

If I was your mum, I'd just sell the house I wasn't going to live in, for as much as I could get, and give each child an equal gift out of the proceeds to spend as they see fit. You could put it towards a house.

goodwithsaving

I have to agree with the above. If you can't afford to buy it then the only way you'd get it is with your mum giving you more or accepting below market for it. I appreciate it's her house and she can do as she wishes but your half-sister is rightly concerned. Children aren't entitled to money whatsoever but (within reason of course) what they are entitled to is fair treatment.

You do sound like you are using the fact you have children to get more, or get that house below market. That's not right. Your siblings will have made choices, just as you made a choice to have children. They have worked to buy their own places (or, your sister has) and you could have too (on surface at least, so please forgive how that comes across).

Sell it, split the proceeds and move to a place you can afford. Your children are in school, I get that but also you will be moving them to a place you own yourself, not rent. That's better for them. It's also better for your long term security in terms of mortgage payments etc.
Go to a broker, see what you can afford, get your mums place valued and go from there. All to often families fall apart over money which in many situations, had everyone been treated as equals, would be largely unavoidable.

tryinhard

@ Xylophone- no, my landlord doesn't want to sell. I had thought of this and approached him. Plus this property would be more expensive, even with the extra renovation needed as it has a very large garden for this area.
@ Red-Squirrel & goodwithsaving - I have always sorted out my own housing needs. Both my partner and I work for local charity/community organisations that can't pay very high wages, but your right this was our choice. We have looked at the cost of commuting from areas that we might be able to afford, but have been put off by the costs and time needed to travel to and from work and school, as well as the fact that it will take us out of the community that we work for and with. Again I take your point that this was our choice, I just hoped that there may be something else I could do to cover all bases, as both the offers I made to my siblings of legally binding monthly payments or a lump sum, from a substantial loan, if the house was gifted to me were rejected. We don't have any credit cards, loans or debts and never have, we have always lived within our means, so taking this step is quite scary and I was hoping for some constructive advice, not a character assassination.

Red-Squirrel_2

It might help to ask yourself, if your siblings suggested to you what you are suggesting to them, would you think it reasonable and would you agree to it? Be completely honest with yourself.

I'm a junior nurse tryinhard, I'm not well off and I can't afford to live exactly where I'd like to either, neither can many many others. Its not an unusual situation you're in I'm afraid, especially if you're in an expensive area. Don't risk your family relationships over this.

tryinhard

@Red-Squirrel really not sure how to answer your first question as it will make me sounds like I am making a moral judgement on my siblings choices and quite frankly I don't want to give anyone else on here a reason to have a dig. But in for a penny in for pound. If I owned an unmortgaged property or lived rent free with a guarantee that would never change, then yes I would be more than happy to either receive monthly payments or a lump sum for my share of a sale.
And I understand that this is not unique, I just wanted some suggestions about anything else that I might be able to put on the table which would work out for everyone, but you're right, my siblings shouldn't be asked to consider the decisions I have made in my life

KRB2725

One option I could possibly see, is if you raised a mortgage to purchase your siblings share of the property. You will then own 75% and your Mum will own 25%. Perhaps then you could come to an arrangement with your Mum about buying her share. If your Mum (hopefully not) passes away before this happens, 2/3rds of the amount owing could be deducted from your assumed share of the remaining estate to be split between your brother and sister.

ViolaLass

tryinhard wrote: »

... yes I would be more than happy to either receive monthly payments or a lump sum for my share of a sale.

Where would the money for the lump sum come from though? You said further up that you couldn't get a big enough mortgage.

tryinhard

@emmatthews I previously thought about this, but don't feel comfortable putting my mum in that situation.
@ViolaLass- I first suggested that my mother gift me the house on the grounds that I get drawn up legally binding agreements to either make monthly payments or a lump sum to everyone. If the house were in my name, I assumed I would be able to get a loan/mortgage (sorry if I have the terminology wrong) using the house as security that would be enough to pay everyone their 'share', even though the property were in my name. Please let me know if that was wrong, I really am new to all this and while thinking that I may have done my research, would happily find out I was barking up the wrong tree so I can lay that idea to one side.

Gigervamp

OP, is this an option?

Gigervamp wrote: »

How much would your brother have paid in rent over 15 years if he'd had to pay it?

I'd have thought for fairness, that should be deducted from the value of his share of the house.

ViolaLass

tryinhard wrote: »

@ViolaLass- I first suggested that my mother gift me the house on the grounds that I get drawn up legally binding agreements to either make monthly payments or a lump sum to everyone. If the house were in my name, I assumed I would be able to get a loan/mortgage (sorry if I have the terminology wrong) using the house as security that would be enough to pay everyone their 'share', even though the property were in my name. Please let me know if that was wrong, I really am new to all this and while thinking that I may have done my research, would happily find out I was barking up the wrong tree so I can lay that idea to one side.

I don't see how this is different to your mother selling you the house for a reduced price (the reduction being equal to your share). If you can't get a mortgage now, I don't see why you would be able to get a mortgage once you own the house outright.

Have you looked into how big a mortgage you could get? (You say you looked into it last year, but you don't say whether you investigated the maximum you could borrow.)