Surrounded by "Big spenders"

kabayiri

lisyloo wrote: »

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It isn't all about jealousy.
It's perfectly valid to be concerned about the state (all Us taxpayers) having to keep the !!!!less in their dotage. There is a valid economic concern as well as an unfairness.
The only consolation is that they'll be kept in relative poverty.

There is a satisfying "squaring the circle" aspect to this consolation idea but I don't think it works.

It's often the have nots in our society who need a lot of support, be it health or back to work programs or housing administration and support.

All this can add up significantly. Even the revised £26K cap is a massive amount of money.

Maybe we need to revisit the whole idea of how the state supports people; but then....that's a different thread.

kabayiri

I'm still amazed that people judge others by the car they drive.

I recommended a tradesman to a friend recently. The tradesman is good and charges what I think is a fair price.

Anyway, the tradesman turns up in his wife's BMW. For some reason this puts my friend's nose out of joint. On the phone he is moaning at me about how he must be overcharging etc.

I don't get it. Judge someone on the job they do I say! What they drive is their choice.

buglawton

What about couples where one wants to borrow and the other save? I suppose that topic could have a thread all of its own.

lisyloo

I don't have the same attitude as dh (17th wedding anniversary yesterday).
He's more materialistic than me.
I'm happy with him spending as long as it doesn't cause us issues elsewhere I.e. It won't make us poor in retirement or mean we have to work another decade.
To a degree some compromise is required. Very few couples have exactly the same attitude to everything e.g. tidiness.
If you want to be happily coupled then your main priority has to be what's best for the relationship and accepting that you might not get what you want all the time.
If you are poles apart then the gap may be too big, but mostly if you are both generally committed to listen and compromise then you can come to an agreement on what's reasonable. If your concerns are genuine I.e. I don't want to be impoverished for 30 years of retirement, then your partner should listen to your concerns.

I think we all have certain expectations, for example I expect to live til 90 and outlive my husband, therefore certain financial matters are important to me and he should definitely listen to those concerns (and he does). We'd have both adjusted where there are genuine concerns.

I am also very much a fan of enjoying yourself in the present. We do things and go places, for example we took his parents abroad for 7 years. No point regretting things when you're in a wheelchair. You really do need to have a balance.

IronWolf

I dont find it difficult at all, buying somehing on credit never even crosses my mind, i either have the money or i dont. Have to say that currently i deny myself very little as i have more thsn enough money to cover my meagre tastes

kabayiri

lisyloo wrote: »

...
I think we all have certain expectations, for example I expect to live til 90 and outlive my husband, therefore certain financial matters are important to me and he should definitely listen to those concerns (and he does). We'd have both adjusted where there are genuine concerns.
...

I find it interesting that you make a lot of valid points about retirement, and clearly expect a long and healthy retirement.

I can look to patterns in my family history which point to a much shorter lifespan, and I guess I see it in the wider family behaviour.

It's about expectations as you say.

missyrichards

It annoys me that some of the big spenders I know seem very irresponsible with money and yet seem to get a lot more help from their families. Someone I know has been bailed out financially by a parent many times while the other siblings get nothing.:mad:

We live a frugal lifestyle and I'm hoping it will pay off when we are able to retire early. We have very simple tastes so as long as we have a nice house with a garden for the dogs that will be fine.:)

chucknorris

kabayiri wrote: »

There is a satisfying "squaring the circle" aspect to this consolation idea but I don't think it works.

It's often the have nots in our society who need a lot of support, be it health or back to work programs or housing administration and support.

All this can add up significantly. Even the revised £26K cap is a massive amount of money.

Maybe we need to revisit the whole idea of how the state supports people; but then....that's a different thread.

That's hilarious! A few weeks ago I would have said that I never spend a lot on a car, I usually buy a car about a year old for about £9-10k for cash at a car supermarket, and keep it until it becomes unreliable, currently our Zafira is coming up to 8 years old. I have done this for over 30 years. But that has been my choice, different people have different values, I would never judge anyone by their car, I remember years ago, when I was on a first date, she said 'what car do you drive' (as if it meant something), and I said 'a clapped out old mondeo'. I don't think that we were a good match anyway.

However we are now thinking about buying a campervan, something like this http://www.danburymotorcaravans.com/models/modeltype.aspx?modelID=2&modeltypeID=27

Which starts at about £34k new, but I think that we would want a few upgrades, so maybe if we got a one year old one we could get what we want for up to £35k, or a new one for £40k. It is much more than I have ever spent on a car before, but there are a few factors at play:
1. My wife will be paying half (for the first time).
2. It is more than a car, it gives us a lifestyle bonus (i.e. it is a campervan), obviously we would have to hire one for at least a weekend first.
3. We both realise that we are going to have to change our ways and start spending more, this would be a small step in the right direction.

Generali

A frugal lifestyle is no more moral than a spendthrift one. That's an idea that bugs the hell out of me: I earn a squillion squids a day but only spend 10 bob. That makes me better than you.

Balls does it.

lisyloo

isn't it immoral to expect others to look after you in retirement so you can spend?
Are you personally happy to pick up the tab for the f-e-c-Kless (a proper word I think but getting censored). Most people aren't.

If you have enough to not rely on others then I have no issue with spending.