House buying stress...

savingfortomorrow

sometimes its useful to consider the catastrophe outcome. Catastrophizing you can look at the worst outcome.

if the vender pulls out... find another house. (you have accommodation currently a few weeks delay is nothing in the big scheme)
mortage asks for more details..... grit your teeth and provide them.
don't like the colour the walls are painted... just repaint it.

i read about the cbt online a few years ago on NHS website and it detailed how to look at the worst case scenario and stop going over the worst case. it allows you to feel empowered that if the worst happens i can deal with it.

i do it a lot. ok if something happens --- the worst outcome is---- i would deal with it by x, y or z action.

have a look into cbt on nhs website, i found it brilliant

lindsloo

To keep myself distracted (because having 3000 words to write in 2 weeks isn't distracting enough) I have set myself the challenge of raising £60 in paypal and £300 in cash for specific items in the new house. It's sort of working as I'm sorting through all the tat, bootfairs/eBay/cash for clothes. I won't even allow myself to pack until exchange has been done just in case I 'jinx' it, I'm not normally this neurotic.

rosie383

Got idea to get rid of stuff lindsloo, but don't underestimate how long it takes to actually pack everything. I know you have your essay/assignment to write too, but I would advise that you try to pack at least one cupboard a day. I have had stuff packed for weeks. Well, some things were packed last July as we expected to move in the summer holidays. I have revisited all of those boxes, reduced them from ten to two, and all of the kitchen cupboards and wardrobes have been emptied, culled (ebay/car boot/charity shop or tip), scrubbed and only minimal stuff put back and the remainder packed.
We have 14 years and four people's stuff here so it takes time.

BTW, best tip I got was to go to Lidl and get the boxes the fruit and veg comes in. They are all same size, reinforced bottoms and corners, stack perfectly, and even liftable when full of books. Oh, most have hand holds too. I have taken everything out of the original boxes and repacked in those.

lindsloo

Lol I have a loft full of archive boxes as I am a serial renter and due to some bad luck we have had 8 homes in 13 years. My last place I packed up in a day. I kept all my boxes as our current landlord was an accidental one and was planning on selling after 1-2 years, that's the worst bit is scrummaging for boxes. I have promised myself that once the essays are submitted I will sort out all the kids keepsake stuff and a lot of furniture is going up for sale once we've exchanged as our little people will be sharing a room.

Actually unicornbunnies that's something to keep you busy, start box hunting and collecting newspapers for packing.

unicornbunnies

Thanks so much lovely, i did cbt and dbt a few years ago for anxiety and think its defo time i revist them so thats a great idea!

i actually went to my sellers house today to check some bits, and we sat and talked for like... 2 and a half hours! shes got all her boxes and is currently packing and showing me the house shes moving into and then even if that falls through shes moving to her parents! which makes me feel so much better, i honestly think im so lucky that my sellers are so lovely.

so now its all down to the bank and mortgage offer, apparently the valuation was done the other day (first ive heard about it but was a welcome surprise!) :T

feeling more relaxed now and went in today with more critical eyes and feel more comfortable not looking through rose colored specs :cool:

you lot are absolute diamonds

unicornbunnies

8 homes in 13 years! you must legit be a packing expert by now lol

i dont have any lidls or anything near me might have to cope with big black bags, its literally about a 3 minitue walk along the road so im hoping to cut down on removal costs, need to sell my sofa,cooker,bed,sideboard,and loads more furniture before i move in but waiting to exchange before i get rid of it all.

be sitting on a duvet on the floor of the new house for a few weeks till i get myself sorted :rotfl:

rosie383

I had a friend at home who bought his first home with his wife and literally stretched themselves to the limit to buy. The first few times we went to visit we all sat around on bricks drinking coffee. I kid you not! Each person had four bricks. No one minded at all.

I'm glad you had a nice chat with your vendor UB. And great news about your mortgage offer. Seriously, if you haven't already, check out the Kon Marie thread. It is helpful for anyone but I know there are posters on there who have different anxiety levels or problems and the process has helped them immeasurably. They are a lovely, friendly lot over there. Go and have a read.

rosie383

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5146700

Here you go. Enjoy!

goodwithsaving

The good thing is that as soon as you've moved, you sort of forget the hassle you went through to get there. I was a WRECK during the process but honestly can't remember much of it now.
Good luck, and keep us updated. You've done exceptionally well to buy your first home alone, you should feel extremely proud of yourself.