Civil ceremony in a Chapel/Church?

onlyroz

TonyMMM wrote: »

It isn't an issue ... the law as it stands makes it very clear that a civil marriage ceremony cannot legally take place in a religious building.

Do you have a link to this law? I haven't been able to find one.

TonyMMM

https://www.gov.uk/approval-of-premises-for-civil-marriage-or-civil-partnership

onlyroz

TonyMMM wrote: »

https://www.gov.uk/approval-of-premises-for-civil-marriage-or-civil-partnership

So it seems like you can't have a civil marriage conducted in a
church but you can have a civil partnership.

As for why somebody might want to do this, there are a few reasons. You might just want a wedding in a pretty building, but you're unwilling to lie about your faith to do this. Or perhaps you want to placate religious members of your family (my mum did this with my grandma's funeral - she conducted a broadly humanist ceremony but got a preacher friend to say a few prayers at the end to please the Christian members of the family).

In any case, in the current climate of dwindling church attendance I would have thought that ministers would be keen to encourage non-believers to visit their amazing special buildings. An atheist or agnostic might only visit a church a handful of times in their life, and so the opportunities for converting them are slim-on-the-ground. Why not open up these buildings to non-believers, in the hope that they might be inspired to become a believer? It seems highly counterproductive to ban these people from your church if you hope to win them over to your faith.

tea_lover

Church attendance where I go is booming, numbers are up every year. People come to us for so many reasons...a pretty building is not one of them.

It may be true that non Christians might only visit a church building a few times in their life. But the church is the people, not the building. Christians spend a tiny amount of time in the church building compared to the amount of time we're out in the world - meeting people, getting to know them, talking to them.

I think it unlikely that many people come to know and love God because of architecture.

TBagpuss

There are also other aspects to a traditional wedding you might want - very few secular buildings have 'church' bells, for example.

There is nothing hypocritical about wishing to use a church or other religious building in this way of you are honest about the fact that you are no, personally, a member of the relevant faith.

It may be offensive to some members of the church or other congregation for a building which is sacred to them to be used in this way, but offence and hypocrisy are different things. And not everyone will find the same things offensive. I personally do not find the idea of a civil ceremony in a consecrated space to be offensive, because I don't believe that any building is inherently sacred, it is the prayers etc which are important, not the surroundings in which they take place. (think of Matthew 18:20)

As the law stands, you can't have a civil ceremony in a church, any more then you can have a religious one in a registry office, but if you could, I think that it would be reasonable to take into account that some people would be offended, and some would not, and then to decide whether the level of offensce justifies barring people from using a public space*

*Assuming CofE church. For religious buildings which are privately owned I think the owners get more choice about what they do or don't allow.

Savvy_Sue

I'll just chip in that the university where I used to work held its graduation ceremonies in the CofE cathedral. There was a note in the programme, certainly in the information which went out beforehand, to the effect that for the purposes of the ceremony, this was not being used as a consecrated building.

I don't think anyone went around before or afterwards doing anything special to reconsecrate it. Whatever they did can't have taken long because they still held evensong each night.

But that form of words allowed people of other faiths who wouldn't normally enter a church to attend.

seashore22

Or perhaps you want to placate religious members of your family (my mum did this with my grandma's funeral - she conducted a broadly humanist ceremony but got a preacher friend to say a few prayers at the end to please the Christian members of the family).

You can't have a civil marriage ceremony and tag on a few religious bits. It's illegal.

A civil ceremony in a church is hardly going to placate great aunt Maud if there is no mention of God or prayers or hymns, is it?

seashore22

Oh and a building (and that is what a church is) is hardly going to convert any non believers either. Generally speaking it's words and actions that convert people, not the opportunity to gawp at the oh so lovely stained glass and the dinky little church pews.

tea_lover

I think it could be considered hypocritical, in some respects. On the one hand people are saying "we don't believe what you're saying, we don't think your buildings or your services or your traditions are special". Then on the other hand saying "but they're special enough for me to want to use bits of them for my wedding".

Surely it's one or the other? One of the reasons I wouldn't want to use a synagogue or a mosque for my wedding is precisely because I don't share their beliefs. No matter how glorious the building, I wouldn't feel comfortable as I know I don't hold those beliefs.

So to me, wanting a wedding in a church building without holding any Christian beliefs could be seen as hypocritical, as well as potentially offensive.

seashore22

I say dinky little pews because I went to a church wedding on Saturday and the pews were tiny and the most uncomfortable thing I have ever sat/perched on. Looked nice though.