Civil ceremony in a Chapel/Church?

System

Ive been married twice in a church. A church is a place of God. Ive been to a civil partnership in a registry office and ive been to a marriage ceremony in a registry office. Both of these are ceremonies in themselves but excluding God.

Cant see why you would want to have your partnership solemnised in a church if you don't believe in God.

jackyann

! write as a non-believer, who respects, and has family / friends of different faiths.

My family has worshipped at my local church for generations (at least 400 years). I feel a deep connection with that building, which is about my family, and not, I'm afraid, about God.

I have not asked the parochial council if I can have any ceremonies of my own there, I do feel it wouldn't be fair.
But I am sad that the major moments of my life won't be marked in the building that has seen so many.

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Perhaps you could clarify?

The former might relate to the realisation of a belief, the latter more likely to be about deciding which denomination to join or which form of worship to use.

duchy

jackyann wrote: »

! write as a non-believer, who respects, and has family / friends of different faiths.

My family has worshipped at my local church for generations (at least 400 years). I feel a deep connection with that building, which is about my family, and not, I'm afraid, about God.

I have not asked the parochial council if I can have any ceremonies of my own there, I do feel it wouldn't be fair.
But I am sad that the major moments of my life won't be marked in the building that has seen so many.

Well you have rejected the faith of all those generations -so why would you expect them to accommodate you ?

Jagraf

jackyann wrote: »

! write as a non-believer, who respects, and has family / friends of different faiths.

My family has worshipped at my local church for generations (at least 400 years). I feel a deep connection with that building, which is about my family, and not, I'm afraid, about God.

I have not asked the parochial council if I can have any ceremonies of my own there, I do feel it wouldn't be fair.
But I am sad that the major moments of my life won't be marked in the building that has seen so many.

In what capacity are you sad? You don't want to be married in the eyes of the church, understandable. But your family worshipped there within their faith. How, if you could, would you want a ceremony performed?

Jagraf

duchy wrote: »

Well you have rejected the faith of all those generations -so why would you expect them to accommodate you ?

That's absolutely true. People don't believe in God, yet want it removed from their service as though it somehow matters. I really can't get my head around it.

missbiggles1

jackyann wrote: »

! write as a non-believer, who respects, and has family / friends of different faiths.

My family has worshipped at my local church for generations (at least 400 years). I feel a deep connection with that building, which is about my family, and not, I'm afraid, about God.

I have not asked the parochial council if I can have any ceremonies of my own there, I do feel it wouldn't be fair.
But I am sad that the major moments of my life won't be marked in the building that has seen so many.

I'd be more sad that I could no longer share my family's faith rather than worrying about a building.

jackyann

I thought that I made it clear that I don't expect to have any of my own ceremonies there, for all the reasons given, so no I don't expect any accommodation.

I wanted to say that I understand why people want ceremonies in such places, in response to some of the questions ie: that it isn't necessarily about "pretty places".

coolcait

jackyann wrote: »

I thought that I made it clear that I don't expect to have any of my own ceremonies there, for all the reasons given, so no I don't expect any accommodation.

I wanted to say that I understand why people want ceremonies in such places, in response to some of the questions ie: that it isn't necessarily about "pretty places".

I'd certainly understood that from your previous post.


It's a fair point, from the other side of the coin. And it does illustrate the point that it may be a little bit too glib to assume that people want to marry in a particular church just because it's pretty, or will look good in photos.

missbiggles1

jackyann wrote: »

I thought that I made it clear that I don't expect to have any of my own ceremonies there, for all the reasons given, so no I don't expect any accommodation.

I wanted to say that I understand why people want ceremonies in such places, in response to some of the questions ie: that it isn't necessarily about "pretty places".

I do understand the point you're making regarding your own ceremonies but I do still think you're being sad about the wrong thing.