Should I ask my flatmate to subsidise more of the rent?

Red-Squirrel_2

Pixie5740 wrote: »

No, you shouldn't ask and I'm shocked (well not that shocked since this is a hypothetical MSE scenario) you would expect your friend to pay more rent than you. Where would it end? Would your friend be expected to put more towards the utilities? Would you be the flamate that never buys toilet roll and eats other people's food?

I've had one way relationships with friends before, just take take take, and so I moved on, without those friendships. If I had £1 for every time I heard,"but you've got a good job." Well I do but because I set my ambitions higher than hoping to be a WAG.

Sorry but I think this is way over the top based on the limited info in the OP, would you have written that if you thought it was a real person asking? I've not been on the forum long but I'm sure you aren't normally so harsh!

I agree with others who've said that the OP should just be honest with his friend. Be clear about what your maximum monthly rent is and let him decide what he wants to do with that information. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he wanted to pay a bit extra to have a nicer place to live and keep a flatmate he likes, that's what I'd do in his situation. You can be 'equal' and fair without being strictly 50/50 if everybody agrees.

duchy

I'm just wondering why the hypothetical poster and his hypothetical friend were looking at hypothetical flats they hyperthetically couldn't afford.

Pixie5740

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Sorry but I think this is way over the top based on the limited info in the OP, would you have written that if you thought it was a real person asking? I've not been on the forum long but I'm sure you aren't normally so harsh!

Possibly. It's the expectation that is irritating. Just because someone earns more money (do you really know exactly how much your friends make anyway) that doesn't mean they have a lot more disposable income. They could be repaying a higher amount to a student loan or saving up to buy somewhere yet someone expects them to subsidise them too.

Money and friendship don't always mix well and if it were the other way around I wouldn't feel happy about a friend subsidising me. I'd cut my cloth accordingly and explain this to my friend so we could find somewhere affordable to both of us.

19lottie82

If they're taking the bigger room, then yes, that's the way it always worked when I was sharing.

The flat had 2 bedrooms, one was a fair bit bigger and the £500 rent was split 230/270.

tgroom57

Keep looking, and discuss with your flatmate why this flat isn't do-able for you. This also gives you the opportunity to discuss the bigger room split -ready for when you find a flat you can afford.

Presumably, if they changed job and took less pay you'd be happy to subsidise them?

Teacher2

I don't think there is anything against asking openly. Your friend can choose whether to go in with you at a higher rate than you are paying or not. As long as neither of you take offense at the outcome of the discussion what does it matter if you ask?

debbiesmum

Are you kidding? I can't believe that, knowing your incomes were very different, you didn't have a conversation about budgets, amounts you can afford for rent BEFORE looking at flats. I'm really sorry but it sounds as if you are almost looking to take advantage of your friend's higher earning capacity .

Errata

duchy wrote: »

I'm just wondering why the hypothetical poster and his hypothetical friend were looking at hypothetical flats they hyperthetically couldn't afford.

I wonder why MSE staff have suddenly started posting their personal problems on forums. They'd be better off writing to Dear Deidre/asking their boss for a rise.:D

MrJester

silvercar wrote: »

There are apps designed to ascertain a fair rental split, based on how individual sharers value different factors in the allocated rooms.

My son recommends:

http://www.spliddit.org/apps/rent

I'm sure there are others.

I think these are a good idea.

Pixie5740 wrote: »

No, you shouldn't ask and I'm shocked (well not that shocked since this is a hypothetical MSE scenario) you would expect your friend to pay more rent than you. Where would it end? Would your friend be expected to put more towards the utilities? Would you be the flamate that never buys toilet roll and eats other people's food?

I've had one way relationships with friends before, just take take take, and so I moved on, without those friendships. If I had £1 for every time I heard,"but you've got a good job." Well I do but because I set my ambitions higher than hoping to be a WAG.

I think you are getting the wrong end of the stick, it did say that there is a bigger room in this case. Peoples rooms are what you pay for in a share, and I think quite rightly the more space you get the more benefit you have of that flat/house and should pay more rent because of it.

The post is not asking them to pay more just because they earn more. If it was, then I'd agree it's unfair to pay more just because you earn more. But it isn't the case.

Think if the room had an en-suite and the other did not, etc etc.

Pixie5740

MrJester wrote: »

I think you are getting the wrong end of the stick, it did say that there is a bigger room in this case. Peoples rooms are what you pay for in a share, and I think quite rightly the more space you get the more benefit you have of that flat/house and should pay more rent because of it.

The post is not asking them to pay more just because they earn more. If it was, then I'd agree it's unfair to pay more just because you earn more. But it isn't the case.

Think if the room had an en-suite and the other did not, etc etc.

No I haven't got hold of the wrong end of the stick. The OP says...

MSE_Nick wrote: »

We've found somewhere we both like, but even if he takes the bigger room and pays a bit more I still can't really afford it. Should I ask him to subsidise a larger share of the rent? I'd feel bad asking but he really likes the place and we do want to live together.

The OP is saying that even if the friend pays more rent for getting the bigger room they still want to ask the friend to pay extra rent on top of the rent for having the larger room because the friend earns more money that the OP.