How did you feel when your kids left home

PlymouthMaid

Pleased really as it means I did a good job in preparing them for the world but the house certainly became quiet. I got a dog when they were teens as the house was too still at the weekend and I found I was talking to myself a bit too much.

It amazes me how many women do the Granny Nanny thing. I am lucky enough to have just become a Nan for the first time and offer babysitting and emergencies if I can but not regular childcare. Mind you I will probably be working until I am 67 and my grandkids are almost grown up

Lily-Rose_3

PlymouthMaid wrote: »

Pleased really as it means I did a good job in preparing them for the world but the house certainly became quiet. I got a dog when they were teens as the house was too still at the weekend and I found I was talking to myself a bit too much.

It amazes me how many women do the Granny Nanny thing. I am lucky enough to have just become a Nan for the first time and offer babysitting and emergencies if I can but not regular childcare. Mind you I will probably be working until I am 67 and my grandkids are almost grown up

Hmmmmm, maybe just maybe, I would consider childminding my grandchild(ren) 2 days a week say, and then my daughter would only need to find a minder for 3 days... but full time? I couldn't do it.

I don't think it's fair for anyone to expect it of their parents. When I went back to work when our daughter was a baby, nobody looked after her free of charge: we had to use - and pay for - a childminder. It took around two thirds of my wage, but it kept my job open, and gave us a few hundred pounds a month we would not have had if I had stayed at home.

And then when we had no need for the minder any longer, I still had my job, and all the money to go with it, as we had no childminding fees IYSWIM.

Jagraf

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Hmmmmm, maybe just maybe, I would consider childminding my grandchild(ren) 2 days a week say, and then my daughter would only need to find a minder for 3 days... but full time? I couldn't do it.

I don't think it's fair for anyone to expect it of their parents. When I went back to work when our daughter was a baby, nobody looked after her free of charge: we had to use - and pay for - a childminder. It took around two thirds of my wage, but it kept my job open, and gave us a few hundred pounds a month we would not have had if I had stayed at home.

And then when we had no need for the minder any longer, I still had my job, and all the money to go with it, as we had no childminding fees IYSWIM.

Same here. I worked virtually full time as a single mum for the baby yers and paid nursery fees. Grandparents are there to enjoy the grand kids and vice versa. A couple of days here and there and some babysitting very much appreciated. DD so much nicer to her grandparents than to me!

pollypenny

Walk through town most days and you'll see older people pushing pushchairs, with a slightly different ago-group at 3pm.

So many grandparents do childcare. And we are the selfish baby boomers. Hmmmm :cool:

We have to go to the USA to help out when DIL has to travel with work. Gets expensive , but we love seeing the gorgeous boys.

haras_nosirrah

We are guilty of the granny nanny service but definitely not full time

My parents and Inlaws have my son on a tue or thur (so 1 day a week each which gets decided between them in advance) and we don't pay them.

In fairness to us though we did offer to pay but they wouldn't hear of it. My dad said they should pay us as he missed out so much of our childhoods as he was working away so he gets to relive it with his grandson who is now 2. I had to go back to work when my son was 6 weeks old for financial reasons so they have had him once a week since he was practically born and they all have such a lovely close relationship it is lovely to see

But yes full time granny care is taking the pee a bit and we drop off at 8 and collect at 6

Jagraf

I think granny nannying became popular about 15 years ago, which was when my DD was little. It was at a time when people couldn't see the bigger picture of returning to work if they had to spend money on their childcare (even though IMO it keeps you in the employment loop).

These very same people now have ageing parents, but they refuse to support them in their time of need (not everyone granted, but lots do). It's very hypocritical.

So, I will say to my daughter, that yes I will look after her children 5 days a week, year in year out. However, when I've aged prematurely YOU will be responsible for looking after my needs, 5 days a week, year in year out.

Of course, I wouldn't be so silly as to look after my grandchildren all that time, it completely ruins a relationship (grandparents turn into parents and that's a very difficult role).

I have absolutely no problem with one or two days a week,if it suits. That's quality time together.

What I do have a problem with is parents wanting it all.