Does he have rights

hyubh

burlington6 wrote: »

It's only sexist when it comes from a man, hence my point

Given you're so sure this thread would have turned out differently if the OP had been a man and the ex a woman, what previous threads do you have in mind that demonstrate this inequality?

Oddly enough, I can't see the OP has actually had a particularly easy ride - she's had a few people insinuating her story's made up or partly made up, and many others claiming she should give the money back. You aren't reading what you want to read perchance? That chip nestled beside your cheek seems awfully heavy...

Thrugelmir

stator wrote: »

Either you don't know what platonic means or you haven't read the thread properly. The OP was seemingly in a normal relationsip with a man that lasted for years. He pressured her into buying a new car and gave her money. Then they split up and he asks for money back.
The fact that has was so obsessed with status symbols that he couldn't stand to be seeing someone who drove a modest car may tell you a lot about his character, but it isn't really relevant to the OPs problem.

We've only heard one side of the story. There's two sides to every tale.

stator

Thrugelmir wrote: »

We've only heard one side of the story. There's two sides to every tale.

If the OH wants to start his own thread to seek advice, he is free to do so. Until that point we can only give advice to the OP on the basis of the information she provides. We can only assume it is accurate, if it is not then the advice is worthless anyway. If you don't believe the OP then I would advise to simply ignore the thread, it does you no harm.

superbigal36

Surely it's the daughter that "may" owe the £9,000.
Thats where the money went.

breaking_free

burlington6 wrote: »

If this story was about a woman who had given the money to a man the women on this thread would be after blood

I fully agree (I'm a woman).

IF the boot was on the other foot and you'd given this bloke £9000 for a car would you feel cheated if the two of you broke up and he refused to give the money back?

Do the honourable thing and work out a repayment plan.

PaulW922

A lo of completely off topic drivel here I see.

To clarify;

a agreement for a loan does not have to be written. It can be verbal. However it is very difficult to establish a verbal agreement so it is always a good idea to confirm things in writing.

If the OPs ex-BF wants to go to court he will need to establish his position is correct on the balance of probability - i.e. that what is says is more likely than not. If the OPs does not defend her position the court may accept the facts as presented by the claimant.

The fact the money went into the daughters bank account does not automatically mean that the daughter is liable. However, hypothetically, if the court found in favour of the BF and the daughter still had some or all of the money, the court could order her to pay back what she had - but that is all. It would not make her go out and get the funds for someone else's judgment.

JethroUK

mich6666 wrote: »

I am aware that if money is handed over in cash ,, the agreement has to be in writing and verbal is your word against his.
Money sent from one bank to another is in fact accepted as verbal ..
This I read in law book.

Loans do not have to written, it just makes them easier to evidence

"A loan"

mutual understanding that moneys from a payer to a payee fully intends to go back to the payer

Payer needs to show a realistic expectation of moneys coming back and evidence of repayment terms or expectations would support this

.

Of course £9000 is a lot of dough and you will have trouble convincing a court this was "just a gift" for you

If it was on your birthday you would have half a chance or maybe he won the lottery

If it was in front of me I would ask you to explain why this guy would "gift" you £9k

JethroUK

stator wrote: »

Based on what? If I give you £1 and say "go buy an ice cream", can I demand my money back? .

No but that's not a realistic comparison which is why you used it

Now If she gave you £9k you would have a lot of trouble convincing me that was "a gift"

stator

Just because you wouldn't give someone £9k doesn't mean there aren't people who would.

JethroUK

stator wrote: »

Just because you wouldn't give someone £9k doesn't mean there aren't people who would.

I'm sure there are,

But people that give "gifts" are very unlikely to take you to court to get it back

And as a judge or juror I would start with that premise and would need a lot of convincing from the recipient that it was in fact "a gift" eg given on our around a birthday, Christmas