Will I ever learn to say no?

chocoholicqueen

I've thought about starting a diary for a while now as I love reading other people's stories about their life but something has always stopped me until now.

I've been thinking about my debt and have realised that I have had a loan for 19 years, obviously not the same one but how shocking is that :eek:. When I say I, I actually mean myself and my husband, we very quickly put all our finances together not that long after we met and here we are in 2015 with a loan, 3 credit cards and 2 catalogues.

I'm the one who looks after our money but my one big problem is saying no. My husband works very demanding hours and hardly goes out or treats himself but his one love is electronics, my answer is always, buy it, you deserve it, put it on the cc. And as for saying no to the children, I struggle with that too.

I actually had my first lbm back in Jan 13 and that year we did fantastically but then in 2014 we got the chance to extend our house and some of it had to go on the cc but I don't regret it as the extra living space has made such a difference and of course our house is now worth more.

I have one more confession, I booked a holiday for this year after both me and my husband had health scares , thankfully we are both fine but we haven't had a holiday for 2 yrs and I just thought life is for living, so booked it but this also means clothes have to be bought, which will probably end up the credit card.

This probably seems a weird thing to say but I am actually good with money ( or so I thought), we are able to pay the minimum plus small overpayments on each debt and since my first lbm, now save for Xmas and birthdays.

My biggest downfall is the food shop and take aways, this seriously needs to change, I feel like I give all of my wages to Mr T I need to be more organised and write a food plan, I also attend fat club, so it will also help me on my mission to lose weight.

So list of tasks for today are:

- sort out paper work, can I get better deals ?
- go to the post office (sold 3 items on eBay)
- write a meal plan for at least 3 days, also check store cupboard/freezer supplies.

So that's it for now, lots more I want to add but will save that for my next post.

chocoholicqueen

So I went through all our bills and not really sure if I can cut anymore out or get lower prices. We reduced our tv package at the start of the yr and saved £40 a month, we are now tied in till the end of the year but this will definitely be going then. I cancelled charity donations and different product insurances that I didn't need.

My eldest ds now pays for his own mobile and when the rest are up for renewal I will get SIM only deals.

I always use quidco if I'm buying off the internet and I'm also a bzzagent, just had a very nice curry and beer campaign. I really do try to save money where I can and I also love a coupon.

I also managed to post my parcels, I love selling on eBay and I've even joined the sell a £1000 worth of stuff thread, as well as save £1 a day and debt free by the end of the year ( which won't happen but there a friendly bunch on that thread and it motivates me.)

Which brings me to the meal plan, that I haven't done :cool: I really do have a mental block when it comes to it. Twice I sat at the computer to start a food shop but it never happened :mad: this will be my first task tomorrow.

Just one last thing, has anybody actually ever saved any money by switching their gas and electric suppliers? I have changed quite a few times in the past (although not for about 5 yrs) and they give me this amazing quote and then put it back up or higher 6 months after i signed up with them.

chocoholicqueen

Meal plan has been done :j and shopping has been delivered, only till sunday but it's a start.

I've been looking at my debts and i'm having a ' how did i get into this mess' kinda day. 2 of the CC are on 0% deals and for a good while yet, so i'm only paying minimum on those. 1 of the catalogues has at least 95% on bnpl deals, which so far i am paying off before each deal ends.

This leaves me with the N@xt catalogue which is high interest and i've just noticed they have reduced how much minimum payment you have to pay and then CC 3 which i am paying interest on as i need this for when we go on holiday (7 weeks and counting) incase of emergencies. This is where i have been paying my weekly bank skims too and i've really noticed how much it helps.

I've also just realised we have an £800 overdraft to , which isn't to bad compared to some of the other debts. Now this is where my head is still in the sand because i know exactly how much i owe on each debt but i refuse to add them up, i know it is under £20,000 but when i look at it like that, it freaks me out :eek:.

My plan of action is to get this holiday out the way, then see what my real total is after that. I will still continue to eb@y, do surveys, make an extra payment a week, everything i am doing now, to limit the damage.

The good news is i got all of dh's summer clothes out and it only looks like he will need a few new tops, all beach towels still look good, i am determined to buy only what is needed.

Because i want to be DEBT FREE .

chocoholicqueen

Ok, so after writing my last post, I thought what is actually stopping me from adding up my debt total?

So outcame my debt book and as I flicked through each page, I realised I hadn't mention the loan, the settee or the money I owe my mum :eek:.

How the hell have we ended up back where we was 2 years ago. 9 seperate debts, I really do feel like I'm sinking now .

chocoholicqueen

So after the sinking feeling of realising how much money we owe, the one thing that sprung to mind was a consolidation loan. Now I know about these loans, we have taken a few out in the past but didn't cut the CC's up, I know it doesn't solve the problem but I really thought this could save us.

Thanks to this website, I now know we wouldn't even be accepted for a loan, part of me was pleased, the other part started sinking again.

So I went back to basics and found some sticky's on the dfw board and found the snowball calculator and I can now see a plan, a plan that is going to get us debt free.
The hard part.......it's going to take months, years but at least I can see an end.

I'm back to work tomorrow after a glorious 2 weeks off and for the first time in ages I'm really looking forward to it. Not sure if it's because of the weather, the fact I feel really positive or it's six weeks till we go on holiday but what ever the reason I hope it continues.

32b3in2013

Hello

I could have been reading my own story of 2 years ago. I decided I wanted to be debt free and joined the 'pay off all your debts by Xmas 2013' challenge on here. I started with a figure I thought was my total debt amount, and then I started writing things down and realised it was more! I also used the snowball calculator. I became a bit obsessed with it, changing the figures to see if I could move the debt free date sooner

I sold over £3k of my clothes, shoes and handbags on eBay in the first 4 months of 2013 and paid off all my debts by august2013. I also took on my mums debts and paid those off too.

Everything was fine until my car broke down last summer and instead of getting it fixed, I decided to change it. And got a loan for the new car. I am now selling my stuff on eBay to pay back the loan, it started in September last year and I have already paid off 18 months payments.

Good luck with your journey, I have subscribed

chocoholicqueen

Hi 32b3, thanks for dropping by.

I was also joined to that 2013 thread and remember how you cleared your debts and then your mum's. You did so well.

Sorry to hear that you needed to get another loan out but it shows just how well you have changed your ways by paying off extra already. You will have it paid in no time. :money:

I'm looking forward to Wednesday as its dh's payday. Looking forward to paying some more towards the debt. Although I need to buy some clothes for the holiday so there won't be any over payments.

Just had 9 items sell on eB@y so it's a trip to the post office after work tomorrow. The kids are back at school tomorrow, so back into our proper routine, no idea how ds2 is going to get up as he's been laying in till 11:30 everyday, the joys of being a teenager :cool:.

Bobarella

Chocoholicqueen
You look like you are doing really well from your sig. Well done you!
It is hard having to say no to people, & I recognise what you say about wanting your family to have the things that make them happy, like your husband and electricals.
Good luck with everything now.
Bob

Just2Ashamed

Wow, sounds like you're doing really well and making some positive steps. Loving the eBay motivation (please send some this way!) and the determination to tackle takeaways and grocery spends. I'm sure you've already checked it out, but the old style board is great for tips on reducing the supermarket total

chocoholicqueen

Thank you Bob, it really is hard to say no but if I had said it a bit more then I wouldn't be in so much debt. Never mind I am dealing with it now and my husband is also on board. We are making sure we don't just buy things without asking ourselves if we really need it first.

Thanks Just2Ashamed for also popping by. I do have a love/hate relationship with eb@y but since the new year I've been determined to sell all the carp in my house, not only to make some money but also to declutter, I'm sending you lots of motivational thoughts right now, I hope you receive them . I've not really been on the old style board so will definitely check it out.

chocoholicqueen

I've been back to work for 3 days and I am absolutely shattered. Extremely pleased to only have 1 and a half days left. The first week back after half term always kills me.

So yesterday I learnt a few things, not all about money but life to.

The first is the old classic saying ' never judge a book by its cover' a very good friend of mine, confessed to seeing someone new, someone of the same sex. I can honestly say I'm very pleased for them, everyone deserves some happiness in their life.

The second is 'don't rush things'. If I had taken my time with certain tasks I wouldn't of had to do them twice :mad:.

And thirdly ' you get what you pay for'. Not only do I have a day job I also run my own business ( I dream of this being successful so I can give up the day job). I wanted to have business cards designed and picked the cheapest person I could find to design them. Let's just say I know why they were cheap .

Good things about today:
- dh got paid
- I've made £360 selling stuff since January
- we had brilliant sunshine, so everyone was happy
- more payments have been made

I'm sure there are more things but my bed is calling me, looking forward to another glorious day tomorrow.