What is good answer to do you have a boyfriend yet?

pickledonionspaceraider

Chlorine7 wrote: »

I’ve been single for over a year after a 6 year relationship and I'm in my 30's. I have no interest in anyone else and I don’t see me having any interest anytime soon.I rarely fancy people. I have friends who can walk into a room and find three guys attractive but I can walk into a bar full of guys and not be attracted to a single one. Unless you count kisses that occur after copious amounts of alcohol

Anyway I had a birthday card that recently said ‘I hope you find a new boyfriend this year’ – this from a girl who dropped her knickers to every guy that sold her a clich!d line. I flat out told her in front of everyone that I wasn’t happy with that message and it was rude.

Yesterday I met up with an ex-colleague (who is known for deliberately making you feel uncomfortable) and he asked me why don’t I have a boyfriend yet? I told it’s him because I don’t need or want one and he just sort of laughed at me.

I don’t have a boyfriend because there is currently no one out there for me. I tried Match.com for a month and it just made my skin crawl. I went on Tinder just to see what it’s all about – no attractive men there (at least not to me). I am actually happy on my own as being single hasn’t stopped me from doing everything I want to do!

I think it’s so sad that some people cannot function without a boyfriend and ignorant to think that those who don’t have one aren’t happy.

I don’t want this to be my answer to people I know. So does anyone have any better, witty, ‘shut the hell up and mind your own business answers’?

On one hand, you say and I quote ''I have no interest in anyone else and I don’t see me having any interest anytime soon.'' but then you say ''I tried Match.com for a month and it just made my skin crawl. I went on Tinder just to see what it’s all about – no attractive men there''

It is clear that you do want to meet someone, & despite the 'single and happy' face that you are putting on - your friends will know this. What is wrong with them taking an interest - why do you think they are snarking at you in some way that you need to come back with a sarcastic 'shut the hell up' retort? There is no need, just give a genuine answer - anything sarcastic or aimed as a put down will make you look bitter about it.

Friends do talk about relationships. The new partner or lack thereof - it's pretty normal really

The ''friend'' who gave you a card, saying 'I hope you meet a boyfriend this year' could well have been meant as a genuine sentiment (as clearly she is a girl that needs to be in a relationship- and is thinking of your situation from her prospective) - and I think you were far ruder to her - and continue to be so on a forum. She touched a nerve - think about it..was there really a need to call her out on it, infront of a group?

marisco_2

Jagraf wrote: »

I would just come up with something personal about them, for example

"No, have you lost any weight yet?"

"No, have you got rid of your vile husband yet?"

"No, have you worked out your wife hates you yet?"

"No, do you have any interests of your own yet?"

I hate people feeling they have ownership of the life decisions of other people. Mostly they have boring lives themselves.

I think you would be over thinking peoples motives and responding in a way that risks alienating you with those responses. A simple yes or no and a 'lets change the subject' if they persist would suffice.

*max*

"I still haven't cleaned up the woodchipper after the last one".

Yolina

Why do you need a "good" answer when just a simple "no, I don't" will do just fine? I've been single for yonks and I don't get why I, or anyone else would have to justify themselves or come up with some witty reply

anotheruser

Witty is more fun though.
Especially when you have a good response. However you will need to have a few in the bag.


However I don't understand why people get so bothered about it.
If someone is trying to get to know you, asking if you're single or not shouldn't imply that the asker is interested in romance.

Perhaps those who are asking are just looking out for you? Let's face it, the majority of people are in some sort of relationship and the majority of those feel it enhances their life.

lulu_92

You can always opt for the Friends response:

"I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. That’s why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. He’ll find me."

tealady

Some great answers , thanks all. I must try to remember these when I am asked am I lonely, I live on my own and am happy but some people can't understand that.

Chlorine7

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

On one hand, you say and I quote ''I have no interest in anyone else and I don’t see me having any interest anytime soon.'' but then you say ''I tried Match.com for a month and it just made my skin crawl. I went on Tinder just to see what it’s all about – no attractive men there''

I didn't want to meet someone - it was a reaction to the ex since he'd Tinder'd his way around a 3 month holiday and I was upset and wanted to 'move on' in the same way. I also wanted to see if I'd find anyone attractive on those platforms and sadly I didn't.

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

It is clear that you do want to meet someone, & despite the 'single and happy' face that you are putting on - your friends will know this.

Why can't I want to meet someone at some point but not be interested in anything right now and also be happy with the life I have? The 'single and happy face' implies facade and that's exactly what I'd like to avoid.

While it is wonderful to have someone that you love in your life, it is not incomplete without that someone and it does not mean I will definitely spend the rest of my days pining away for it.

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

What is wrong with them taking an interest - why do you think they are snarking at you in some way that you need to come back with a sarcastic 'shut the hell up' retort? There is no need, just give a genuine answer - anything sarcastic or aimed as a put down will make you look bitter about it.

I do appreciate this hence help with a 'witty' answer rather than a mind your own business answer.

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

The ''friend'' who gave you a card, saying 'I hope you meet a boyfriend this year' could well have been meant as a genuine sentiment (as clearly she is a girl that needs to be in a relationship- and is thinking of your situation from her prospective) - and I think you were far ruder to her - and continue to be so on a forum. She touched a nerve - think about it..was there really a need to call her out on it, infront of a group?

Let me be clear the knickers part is my opinion of her behaviour and was very much a reaction to what she said as I wrote out this post. I did not say this in front of anyone.

The only part I said was "I'm not happy with the message and its kinda rude" I moved on from that after I made my point. I didn't shout it and I know she meant well but I was annoyed.

Oh and obviously she touched a nerve hence the rant and request for advice!

duchy

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

I used to say rather dismissively, 'I have high standards' and move on swiftly. If asked again it moved on to it being none of their business!

I like this one best.

Chlorine7

lulu_92 wrote: »

I would say "I'm perfectly happy as I am. I don't need a relationship to validate my existence."

I very much like this