M&S Mother's Day "funeral" bouquet

peachyprice

Fraze wrote: »

I have seen black ribbons at 95% of funerals I have attended

Sorry, but I think this is something peculiar to your area/social circle. It is not the norm, purple is the traditional colour for funeral ribbons and flowers, no matter what you may have seen at 95% of the funerals you have been to.

Torry_Quine

Fraze wrote: »

OOOoooo! You do get heated, I will answer some posts I read before I realised that this was a mistake... I do wonder if you would you have said these things to my face?

I have seen black ribbons at 95% of funerals I have attended (and sadly for me there have been quite a few this year WHICH IS WHY I WAS UPSET you might not have been upset by ribbons but I was - GET IT)

By the way I did not order the flowers, my young daughter did and checking details like ribbons is not something a young girl is likely to do. Can't believe someone actually went to the website and posted the listing - whatthe...? For a mad moment I wondered if some of you are on M&S payroll??? You do seem to think they are wonderful.

Gosh did you really search online for ribboned bouquets and funerals???

I said it was NOT a moral or legal issue but that my original post was a courtesy post hoping to prevent others feeling upset.

Final update: Lillies not open at all, my friend had same bunch (she was not grieving so therefore not upset re ribbon) but they have died unopened.

Do as you will, send these bouquets to all your bereaved friends and I am sure some won't care and others just might, I really hope you never have a bad bunch of flowers from anywhere and complain because trying to help others is clearly a bad idea.

I will use local florists from now on and if anyone out there actually understands what I am saying then I suggest they do the same.

The fact that it was someone who didn't for whatever reason, check the details of what was supplied is not the fault of M&S though. It's a shame that you let your feelings about the ribbon mar such a lovely gift from your daughter.

hollydays

My mother associates White lilies with funerals . Perhaps this was the issue ?

Takeaway_Addict

Fraze wrote: »

OOOoooo! You do get heated, I will answer some posts I read before I realised that this was a mistake... I do wonder if you would you have said these things to my face?

I have seen black ribbons at 95% of funerals I have attended (and sadly for me there have been quite a few this year WHICH IS WHY I WAS UPSET you might not have been upset by ribbons but I was - GET IT)

By the way I did not order the flowers, my young daughter did and checking details like ribbons is not something a young girl is likely to do. Can't believe someone actually went to the website and posted the listing - whatthe...? For a mad moment I wondered if some of you are on M&S payroll??? You do seem to think they are wonderful.

Gosh did you really search online for ribboned bouquets and funerals???

I said it was NOT a moral or legal issue but that my original post was a courtesy post hoping to prevent others feeling upset.

Final update: Lillies not open at all, my friend had same bunch (she was not grieving so therefore not upset re ribbon) but they have died unopened.

Do as you will, send these bouquets to all your bereaved friends and I am sure some won't care and others just might, I really hope you never have a bad bunch of flowers from anywhere and complain because trying to help others is clearly a bad idea.

I will use local florists from now on and if anyone out there actually understands what I am saying then I suggest they do the same.

And thus she learns the life experience of not doing so

carlislelass

I have never seen black ribbon on funeral flowers, usually purple

ThumbRemote

Irrespective of what colour ribbon gets used on funeral flowers, black as a colour is certainly associated with funerals and mourning. It's not hard to see why a black ribbon would stir up such thoughts in someone recently bereaved.

Seems strange that they'd use that colour when white would be much more cheerful.

peachyprice

ThumbRemote wrote: »

Irrespective of what colour ribbon gets used on funeral flowers, black as a colour is certainly associated with funerals and mourning. It's not hard to see why a black ribbon would stir up such thoughts in someone recently bereaved.

Seems strange that they'd use that colour when white would be much more cheerful.

It's a fashion thing. There's a lot of black merchandising around atm, especially black and pink.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect M&S to not use a popular colour scheme on the off chance that it would offend the occasional bereaved person. Goodness, imagine how clothes shops would cope if they couldn't sell black clothes because they are considered funereal.

Pollycat

Fraze wrote: »

By the way I did not order the flowers, my young daughter did and checking details like ribbons is not something a young girl is likely to do. Can't believe someone actually went to the website and posted the listing - whatthe...?

I hope that you've explained the necessity of checking what you are buying before clicking on 'pay now' to your daughter.

It will be an invaluable lesson for her.

Or if she's not old enough to understand that, maybe reconsider before letting her loose on a PC with a credit card.

Fraze wrote: »

Can't believe someone actually went to the website and posted the listing - whatthe...? For a mad moment I wondered if some of you are on M&S payroll??? You do seem to think they are wonderful.

I wondered how long it would take for you to trot that that old chestnut out.

"People are not agreeing with me so they must work for the company".
Yeah, right.

I don't think M&S are 'wonderful (and I've never worked for them).

The information was there, the fact your daughter didn't know to check what she was ordering was not the fault of M&S.

In fact, I wonder if, even if your daughter had read the details, she would have realised that a black ribbon would have sent you into such a tizz.

FWIW, I did sympathise with your original post.

tomtontom

ThumbRemote wrote: »

Irrespective of what colour ribbon gets used on funeral flowers, black as a colour is certainly associated with funerals and mourning. It's not hard to see why a black ribbon would stir up such thoughts in someone recently bereaved.

Seems strange that they'd use that colour when white would be much more cheerful.

White is for weddings, so by the OP's reasoning will upset singletons/ the recently divorced/ dumped/ separated etc. Seems M&S can't win either way!

kerri_gt

I imagine the idea behind the black ribbon is to give a premium feel to the flowers, I must admit Ive never noticed black ribbon round any flowers before.

Lilies themselves have many meanings, most commonly associated are purity of the soul and devotion, hence they are commonly used at both funerals and also weddings.

I can understand how someone feeling perhaps more sensitive than usual may feel distressed at the combination that woudnt even occur to many (personally I don't like lillies, they give me a headache and are poisonous to cats of which I have one).

I would contact M&S and explain calmly that the flowers were not pink as your daughter had ordered and they have not opened despite following the care instructions.

I would also mention that as marketing feedback, you don't really feel black ribbon is always 100% appropriate and perhaps something like silver might be a better idea - still premium but with less connotations. Companies spend thousands on marketing and market research, feedback (in a constructive way) is the only real way they know if they're getting it right or not.