I appreciate that it sounds soft but....

tea_lover

I think you'd be better off sticking to group situations for now.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

agreed.....!

InsideInsurance

dRic40 wrote: »

I did start to socialise but I feel that I'm not ready because I start to see other women as potential partners rather than friends. I appreciate that its my problem no theirs

Whats wrong with seeing them as potential partners? Your single

You also shouldnt try to "reason" with her to restart the relationship/ give it another go. Relationships shouldnt be about logical reasons why someone may be good for you/ convenient etc. If your reasoning is that you have a big salary and can provide for her then that same logic would mean that she should leave you as soon as she finds someone with a bigger salary etc.

I have to say that personally I am a strong believer in a clean break once the relationship is ended and not "remaining friends" afterwards as rarely do both sides agree where the boundaries are for the friendship or share the same hope that the friendship develop into something else. Things are obviously different if kids are involved.

I know others that claim to have perfectly normal/ platonic relationships with their ex's but I am not convinced that they arent kidding themselves when I;ve seen them are together. Even those who said their split was amicable and by mutual agreement and it doesnt sound as if yours was.

Her moving out will certainly help to remove the blurred lines and make the end more definite/

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

I have more feelings for her than she does for me. So I understand what you are saying.

Thanks

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

had a really good day on Sunday.

Had a beer with friends and then went out for sunday lunch with EX.

it was a really good afternoon and as a consequence - I now feel s**t.....!!!

I want to email/ text her that the next time she has a relationship with someone and they do something unbeknownst to them, that causes so much resentment that she would consider leaving them for it..... please tell them.

that way its not so much of a shock or they have the opportunity to change if they want to.

but I wont..............

DKLS

Leave her be Op, time to move on and get back on the horse.

My mate is having a hoot on Tinder and Match.com after a similar breakup.

heartbreak_star

I think you can be friends with an ex, but it has to be after both parties are OK with the breakup. Four years in my current case. There's nothing there anymore

HBS x

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

DKLS wrote: »

Leave her be Op, time to move on and get back on the horse.

My mate is having a hoot on Tinder and Match.com after a similar breakup.

I know you're right and the days are drawing to an end. The relationship is finished I do understand that....

I am making steps to be near my son, I think he deserves my attention (more of my attention) now....

I currently speak to him 2-4 times a week and see him every 6 weeks and I've never missed a payment - I see that as essential.

now, lets create a Tinder account.......... lol

Ozzuk

Why is she still cooking you food? Sit down and tell her that you'd prefer to keep things amicable and separate and she shouldn't worry about you and doing things for you as you are okay.

Its probably not salvageable but at the moment you are making it easy for her - she has you at distance but also under control. Take back control and it will help you in other areas of your life.

As for dating, well there is no right or wrong answer, some jump in, some fool around, some stay single. Just remember you're highly emotional at the moment and those feelings can transfer easily to someone new - which is rarely a good idea, you could be too clingy, rushing things, and looking to get back what you had. Although I said there is no real right or wrong, my advice would be keep it casual and work on being happy alone - until you are happy with who you are it will be difficult to feel an equal in any relationship.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

Ozzuk wrote: »

Why is she still cooking you food? Sit down and tell her that you'd prefer to keep things amicable and separate and she shouldn't worry about you and doing things for you as you are okay.

Its probably not salvageable but at the moment you are making it easy for her - she has you at distance but also under control. Take back control and it will help you in other areas of your life.

As for dating, well there is no right or wrong answer, some jump in, some fool around, some stay single. Just remember you're highly emotional at the moment and those feelings can transfer easily to someone new - which is rarely a good idea, you could be too clingy, rushing things, and looking to get back what you had. Although I said there is no real right or wrong, my advice would be keep it casual and work on being happy alone - until you are happy with who you are it will be difficult to feel an equal in any relationship.

thanks for your post, I know you are right, I honestly do... the things I do, in the early days, was an attempt to regain the relationship. Now its just easier to do it that way.....

re dating..... you are right.