I appreciate that it sounds soft but....

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

any ideas.....????

somethingcorporate

Have you considered a holiday or staying with friends?

Sounds like you need a bit of breathing space and time to yourself rather than being tortured where you are...

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

hi.

I go to Devon in a couple of weeks to see my son so I am looking forward to that.

Only problem... I still think about what's she doing when I'm there...

the house share enables me to save approx. £750 a month and I'll have about £4k from the house.

its not a lot for a 40 year old though....

tea_lover

It's enough to get by on. You'll manage financially, and otherwise, promise

It'll be so much easier once the break has been made. You're in limbo at the moment. Your head knows it's over but it's hard to fully convince yourself when you're still living together. Once you have a bit of space from the situation you can really start to move on.

I'm in a similar situation - just ended 9+yr relationship but still living together for now. I'm buying ex out and he's clearly not in a hurry to find anywhere else. Sometimes I think oh just hurry up and s*d off lol, sometimes I think please don't leave!

It messes with your head to still see the person everyday.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

tea_lover wrote: »

It's enough to get by on. You'll manage financially, and otherwise, promise

It'll be so much easier once the break has been made. You're in limbo at the moment. Your head knows it's over but it's hard to fully convince yourself when you're still living together. Once you have a bit of space from the situation you can really start to move on.

I'm in a similar situation - just ended 9+yr relationship but still living together for now. I'm buying ex out and he's clearly not in a hurry to find anywhere else. Sometimes I think oh just hurry up and s*d off lol, sometimes I think please don't leave!

It messes with your head to still see the person everyday.

thanks - I got in late last night because I was having a drink with a female gym partner and she was really angry with me because I got in late (8.45pm).

she cooked my tea and I didn't inform her that I would be 2 hours later than normal. I was always going to reheat it though because I go to the gym.

I felt disappointed in myself that I had upset her, its hard not to read a bit more into it though....?

human nature I suppose.

19lottie82

I know it hurts and seems like there isn't any light at the end of tunnel but it will get easier, I promise!

Try to keep yourself busy - see your friends / family as much as you can, and maybe join a gym? The latter is great for shaking off the blues and feeling better about yourself.

And you're still reasonably young, 5 years ago I met my now DH when he was 40 and he had just split up from his long term partner, we are now married! :T

No one is expecting you to start looking for a new girlfriend yet, so don't worry. Just concentrate on spending time with your friends and making new ones, there's no rush.

19lottie82

dRic40 wrote: »

thanks - I got in late last night because I was having a drink with a female gym partner and she was really angry with me because I got in late (8.45pm).

she cooked my tea and I didn't inform her that I would be 2 hours later than normal. I was always going to reheat it though because I go to the gym.

I felt disappointed in myself that I had upset her, its hard not to read a bit more into it though....?

human nature I suppose.

No wonder you're upset / confused.

She's made it clear she doesn't want to continue your relationship but by acting like this she's messing with your head and neither of you will be able to move on.

I know it doesn't seem it, but it will be better when she's moved out, as there won't be any blurred lines.

Claire_A87

You need to do 2 things - firstly, give yourself a break! You've just got out of a serious relationship and you haven't even had the opportunity to properly come to terms with it because of your living arrangement. It's absolutely OK to be upset and confused, so just let yourself work through it. Secondly, stop putting her on a pedestal. She might be the best person in the world but the longer you hold her in some sort of glorified esteem as your PP suggests (you're disappointed you upset her after doing something as normal as going to the gym), the harder it will be to move on.

She's a human being, same as you. She might also be finding things as difficult as you, which is why she was upset over dinner. Easier said than done, but try and view her as a person objectively rather than the woman you've just ended a relationship with.

GL with it all.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

19lottie82 wrote: »

No wonder you're upset / confused.

She's made it clear she doesn't want to continue your relationship but by acting like this she's messing with your head and neither of you will be able to move on.

I know it doesn't seem it, but it will be better when she's moved out, as there won't be any blurred lines.

you are right, if you were a fly on the wall watching our relationship (not that you'd want to lol), you would think that we are still together....

I cook and clean, she iron's my clothes, we shop and still have a laugh together.

I have made mistakes but I understand where I went wrong.

any ideas of meeting people....?

I gym 4/5 times a week and that does help.

tea_lover

It's that blurring of boundaries that makes it harder for now. We're the same - cooked together last night then played on the xbox together for ages. Had a lovely evening - which just messes with your head.

Have a look on meetup, there's bound to be something near you.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

tea_lover wrote: »

It's that blurring of boundaries that makes it harder for now. We're the same - cooked together last night then played on the xbox together for ages. Had a lovely evening - which just messes with your head.

Have a look on meetup, there's bound to be something near you.

I've joined meetup..... lol

saw woman in the group twice, then saw her on a 1-2-1 basis for coffee. then saw another woman for a chippie lunch just as friends and the first woman went absolutely mental.

she sent me two abusive texts..... nut job.

I must of said something..... don't know what though....?