Separation advice

Lunar_Eclipse

FBaby wrote: »

Totally out of curiosity, do you mind if I ask why you agreed to her not working? Was it her insisting she didn't want to, something you agreed because it suited both her and you (in terms of the kids, looking after the house etc...), or it is something you were keen on because for instance you believe that it was better for the children to have a sahm.

I know that my husband would not be happy at all with me not working despite having children. That's perfectly fine because I certainly wouldn't want to be 100% financially dependent and I take pride in earning a living and participating in the family income.

I think that usually these big decisions, like one parent staying at home to raise children, is not following multiple lengthy decisions with a deep analysis of the pros and cons at the time as well as 10, 20, 30 years into the future, but one that seems reasonable at the time someone is pregnant or thinking about having a family, and then everyone in the family gets swept up in day-to-day life once children arrive.

I gave up a high salary to stay at home after our second child was born. Not Nicola Horlicks level high (which might make me act differently) but almost six figure salary high. It did not make financial sense for us to do that, but for me personally it was a no-brainer: pay someone else £5/hour to look after my kids, or do it myself. There are not many well educated inspiring people out there willing to work for £5/hour. So I did it and we ran the house to a minimal budget for about 10 years so that I could. I'd quite like to return to work now to use my brain again (I have worked for several years of my sah years for myself) but I wouldn't change a thing.