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Need some advice on what I can do

Firstly I apologise if this is the wrong forum, this is the only place I can find where people are talking about caring, if its wrong please let me no and ill post in the appropriate forum, thank you

Hi, I am currently a carer for my mum due to her health problems and disability but I dont currently receive carers allowance as I live 12 miles away so cant care for her 35 hours a week, I travel down twice a week to help out all I can but its costing me taxi as I dont drive. I have 3 young children so im unable to travel every day. Im currently on the housing list with Trent and Dove and homeswapper to find a place near my mum so I can visit every day because she is not getting any better and I worry every day im not there due to accidents she keeps having and im worried one day an accident could be a lot worse. I do however ring her every day to check up on her. My dad works full time so he can only help out after work and weekends but because he has a heart condition he gets tired very easily. Iv been on the lists for ages now and im getting impatient because as I said my mum isnt getting any better.

Is there any help I can get to help care for my mum more often whilst im so far away?? we cant afford to buy or private rent due to the cost of deposits so unfortunately we are waiting and all the stress of waiting and nothing coming up isnt helping me, we are saving but working out how much we can save a week we wont have the money to move until next year
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Comments

  • pmlindyloo
    pmlindyloo Posts: 13,099 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Has your mum applied for PIP or AA? This is not means tested so might give her some extra money for care.

    I also suggest that you ask for an adult assessment for your mum from social services. They may be able to provide carers.

    Another option is to see if a neighbour would be willing to pop in and/or claim Carer's allowance if they are eligible and your mum is receiving the right benefit for them to claim.
  • pmlindyloo wrote: »
    Has your mum applied for PIP or AA? This is not means tested so might give her some extra money for care.

    I also suggest that you ask for an adult assessment for your mum from social services. They may be able to provide carers.

    Another option is to see if a neighbour would be willing to pop in and/or claim Carer's allowance if they are eligible and your mum is receiving the right benefit for them to claim.

    Yes she gets high rate pip
    Because my mum also suffers with acute anxiety she doesnt do well with strangers on her own, she has to have someone she knows and trusts to be with her so im not sure how she would cope if social services and carers got involved
    Neighbours work full time and theres no one really that could visit her every day
    Thanks for all advice x
  • Hi Sorry if this is late, you may be sorted by now?
    If your mum needs for you to care for 35 hours a week, she can most likely receive carers allowance.
    Speak to her GP if that will help first.
    She is on PIP high rate, so she needs to be paying your travel out of that, that in part is what it is for. If she gets a mobility rate even more so it is for your travel, you need not be out of pocket (just saying how it works).
    If you get tax credits they may be reduced if you get carers allowance.
    You cannot be a full time student
    There is an earnings limit also if you are getting carers allowance (in other words you are spending 35 hours caring so how do you manage to work?) That is how it works.
    Ditto it can affect the person you care for benefit (although unlikely as your father works)
    The GP can be used to back up your claim for carers allowance. You apply online (I think so now) and they ask the GP for her/his evidence on what you have said.
    Hope that is clear, good luck and hope all goes well for your mum and you :)
    Remember when you judge someone, it does not define them ... You define yourself :j
  • missbiggles1
    missbiggles1 Posts: 17,481 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hi Sorry if this is late, you may be sorted by now?
    If your mum needs for you to care for 35 hours a week, she can most likely receive carers allowance.
    Speak to her GP if that will help first.
    She is on PIP high rate, so she needs to be paying your travel out of that, that in part is what it is for. If she gets a mobility rate even more so it is for your travel, you need not be out of pocket (just saying how it works).
    If you get tax credits they may be reduced if you get carers allowance.
    You cannot be a full time student
    There is an earnings limit also if you are getting carers allowance (in other words you are spending 35 hours caring so how do you manage to work?) That is how it works.
    Ditto it can affect the person you care for benefit (although unlikely as your father works)
    The GP can be used to back up your claim for carers allowance. You apply online (I think so now) and they ask the GP for her/his evidence on what you have said.
    Hope that is clear, good luck and hope all goes well for your mum and you :)

    The OP has made it clear that she doesn't care for 35 hours a week so she is ineligible for CA - applying for it would be fraud.
  • benniebert
    benniebert Posts: 666 Forumite

    I live 12 miles away and I travel down twice a week to help out all I can......I do however ring her every day to check up on her.

    Cutting all of the rubbish out, you are left with the above question.


    The 35 hours of caring does not just mean being there physically. Some people on this site will not offer advice unless you spell out what you want to know - they have an aversion to people claiming benefits for some reason.


    Anyhow, You count the time spent on the telephone to her, the time it takes you to get there and back home, the time it takes for you to get ready to go and see her, the things you may do at your home for her, washing, ironing, making up food, telephoning others from your home in dealing with your mum - plus obviously all of the time you are with her at her home. There are many ways that you can care for her.
  • The OP has made it clear that she doesn't care for 35 hours a week so she is ineligible for CA - applying for it would be fraud.
    I would obviously never suggest anyone commits fraud. If the OP can receive carers allowance, it may allow her to make the arrangements for her Mum to receive more care. Taxi payments and so forth. The OP obviously thinks her Mum needs 35 hours care (otherwise she would not have posted on here) and is after suggestions as to how this may be possible.
    Remember when you judge someone, it does not define them ... You define yourself :j
  • Sorry for the late reply, you have all been very helpful, iv taken into account everything that has been said, thank you for all your help, mum now pays for my travel twice a week (I have 3 young children so cant travel down there anymore than that) to help me financially however shes not getting any better, in fact shes getting worse, she had an accident the other day and burnt her hand and I wasn't there :-(, what if it was worse than that?? we are still looking for a house near my mum, but until we get one im stuck and scared to be honest, thank again
  • merlin68
    merlin68 Posts: 2,405 Forumite
    You can get an alarm that you wear round your neck for falls etc. cheapest i come across is http://www.callalert.co.uk/Personal-Alarm-Pricing.aspx.
    My 3 friends have got them from age uk but there prices were extortionate.
  • Indie_Kid
    Indie_Kid Posts: 23,097 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I'm sure you can get something like that from the council?
    Sealed pot challenge #232. Gold stars from Sue-UU - :staradmin :staradmin £75.29 banked
    50p saver #40 £20 banked
    Virtual sealed pot #178 £80.25
  • nannytone_2
    nannytone_2 Posts: 13,001 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    would it be possible for your mum to get sheltered housing/warden controlled housing near to you instead?
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