Enter, Laugh, Integrate, Talk, Enjoy.

fairclaire

mhoc wrote: »

Eldest child has got it into her head that this is the year that she and her BF are getting onto the property ladder. They both have good incomes but their lifestyle and outgoings are also huge.

They say they have savings for a deposit but in reality she has about £5k (of which £2k was her inheritance and 3K savings) and BF has about 10K – this was his inheritance from his Gran I assume, otherwise little of his own savings. This will probably be about as much deposit as they will ever have as their outgoings match their incomes.

This would be an adequate deposit except that they live in a commuter belt and they have decided that is where they want to buy their first property. They also want to live within walking distance of the station as they do now and to move by July this year when their current lease expires.

I am biting my tongue not to say what I think of this plan – that with a deposit of barely 5% (allowing for stamp duty, solicitors fees, surveys etc), the amount of mortgage they could get would barely get them a one bedroom modern studio box in their prefered area, that their mortgage (and bills, parking permit etc )would be far more than their rent and bills now which already pushes their finances, that the property market is so over heated that properties are sold even before they get as far as right move ….
They also want to do it all, no compromises – the London social life, buying a house or flat and also the holidays – they are going to the States in October to a friends wedding.

Friday was OHs birthday and he got a phone call from eldest child – we had visitors at the time so I don’t know what exactly was said and I am glad I don’t know the exact wording but the gist basically was that she wants £5k towards the deposit – not exactly the best of timings on OHs birthday.

Yesterday on eldest childs facebook page she put on her status that her and BF were at a gentlemens outfitters in London, one of the most expensive places in London. Eldest child was thrilled when the shop gave her fizzy wine and a bunch of flowers.

BF was buying a suit – I asked this morning how much it was but apparently as it was bought with his Grans inheritance it was not appropriate for me to ask – I can guess though that the figure was at least several hundred.

So the savings they have are supposed to be a deposit but it does not stop BF buying expensive suits – yes he does need a suit for October but that’s six months away and yes he does need work suits but he visits building sites so a Paul Smith suit is a bit OTT.
Well everyone earns and spends their money differently to anyone else and there is no right or wrong way.

So at the moment I am letting them get on with it they won’t appreciate my input anyway or listen to anything I have to say and any words of advice I give them won’t make an ounce of difference as at this age thye know everything.

Normally I'd say you were absolutely right and they will probably go ahead and make some choices you disagree with anyway.

BUT she is asking you for a substantial contribution. If that's something you're considering (and I don't need to know if you are or not ) I think that gives you some rights to at least air your opinion on it. Not necessarily in a heavy handed way.......maybe more in a sort of gentler 'advisory' way. I suppose it depends how headstrong she is?
But yes there is a tendenency to want it all and want it all now at that age. I've been there myself and ended up the creek at quite a young age and depended on my Dads paddle to get out of it not something I'm proud of. I was just living way beyond my means at the time and I had ostrich syndrome

mhoc

fairclaire wrote: »

Good grief :eek: thank goodness my less than well behaved lately DD didn't know me in my teens and 20s. She'd be calling me a raging hypocrite :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Can't work out if girls are more trouble than boys, or if it's middle child syndrome :cool: or maybe both?

Girls def worse than boys but they do mature faster so mine at the grand old age of 27 is quite sensible now (apart from mad ideas about buying houses)

Eldest son despite having a very grown up responsible job in the outside world still behaves at home like a truculent teenager

lutzi1

On BBC4 at 10 o'clock tonight they are showing "Untouchable", one of the best, funniest and most poignant films I've ever seen. If you haven't seen it, tune in for a treat (and don't be offput by the fact it's in French with subtitles). Truly life enhancing.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-19640298

Dippydoo

I noticed the other day that someone looks out for dettol deals and glitches was it you Evangeline ? as theres a 3 for £5 offer on and the trigger item is Dettol

Eyespy_2

mhoc wrote: »

Eldest child has got it into her head that this is the year that she and her BF are getting onto the property ladder. They both have good incomes but their lifestyle and outgoings are also huge.

They say they have savings for a deposit but in reality she has about £5k (of which £2k was her inheritance and 3K savings) and BF has about 10K – this was his inheritance from his Gran I assume, otherwise little of his own savings. This will probably be about as much deposit as they will ever have as their outgoings match their incomes.

This would be an adequate deposit except that they live in a commuter belt and they have decided that is where they want to buy their first property. They also want to live within walking distance of the station as they do now and to move by July this year when their current lease expires.

I am biting my tongue not to say what I think of this plan – that with a deposit of barely 5% (allowing for stamp duty, solicitors fees, surveys etc), the amount of mortgage they could get would barely get them a one bedroom modern studio box in their prefered area, that their mortgage (and bills, parking permit etc )would be far more than their rent and bills now which already pushes their finances, that the property market is so over heated that properties are sold even before they get as far as right move ….
They also want to do it all, no compromises – the London social life, buying a house or flat and also the holidays – they are going to the States in October to a friends wedding.

Friday was OHs birthday and he got a phone call from eldest child – we had visitors at the time so I don’t know what exactly was said and I am glad I don’t know the exact wording but the gist basically was that she wants £5k towards the deposit – not exactly the best of timings on OHs birthday.

Yesterday on eldest childs facebook page she put on her status that her and BF were at a gentlemens outfitters in London, one of the most expensive places in London. Eldest child was thrilled when the shop gave her fizzy wine and a bunch of flowers.

BF was buying a suit – I asked this morning how much it was but apparently as it was bought with his Grans inheritance it was not appropriate for me to ask – I can guess though that the figure was at least several hundred.

So the savings they have are supposed to be a deposit but it does not stop BF buying expensive suits – yes he does need a suit for October but that’s six months away and yes he does need work suits but he visits building sites so a Paul Smith suit is a bit OTT.
Well everyone earns and spends their money differently to anyone else and there is no right or wrong way.

So at the moment I am letting them get on with it they won’t appreciate my input anyway or listen to anything I have to say and any words of advice I give them won’t make an ounce of difference as at this age thye know everything.

I'm afraid I wouldn't be so forthcoming with lending or giving them the 5k that they are asking for when clearly they are spending willy nilly. When saving for a deposit their belts should be tightened first before daring to ask for help.

I used to think my parents were tough on me for not handing anything to me on a plate but many a time I look back and am grateful for the lessons I learnt.

Dippydoo

Incase anyone missed it this is the 3 for £5 cleaning trigger.
i bought 2 600ml cans of dettol bathroom foam with it

1+1=4

Suzysnowball wrote: »

I am sure someone will help you - but I would love to see when it's done :j

I will try to post a picture on monday night when its done :-)

Sakura10

Good afternoon all

Happy mothers day - got my mum a new bag she'd wanted and put family tree print out inside it (she has been on about one for ages). Think I could have given her a carrier bag with the family tree in and she would have been just as happy Just proves you don't have to spend a fortune to make someone happy.

I hope snap ant got to 4p ok today

mhoc

fairclaire wrote: »

Normally I'd say you were absolutely right and they will probably go ahead and make some choices you disagree with anyway.

BUT she is asking you for a substantial contribution. If that's something you're considering (and I don't need to know if you are or not ) I think that gives you some rights to at least air your opinion on it. Not necessarily in a heavy handed way.......maybe more in a sort of gentler 'advisory' way. I suppose it depends how headstrong she is?
But yes there is a tendenency to want it all and want it all now at that age. I've been there myself and ended up the creek at quite a young age and depended on my Dads paddle to get out of it not something I'm proud of. I was just living way beyond my means at the time and I had ostrich syndrome

Yes very headstrong and opinionated and not willing to take advice and yes I think it is eldest child leading the decision making but BF is in agreement.

Yes they do both live beyond theirs means or rather, as everyone in their 20s do, they tend to live as if tomorrow does not exist.

We helped her financially through 4 years of uni -she had a student loan plus a part time job but we still had to pay her rent and bills and phone bill and it really stretched our budget so she has used up the money her Grandad left her years ago.

we have said that we would help with a deposit but now in her head it now seems to be her entitlement rather than us doing them a favour.

In the end as you say they will make their own choices and I do have to separate myself - easy enough as Ive got plenty of changes ahead in my life to concentrate on- let them get on with it but she can still listen to my thoughts on the subject.

I am wondering now if BF also rang his dad to ask for £5K - I think that is a question I def need to ask

simone10

Evening All
Just checking wombles and My Shop.
Thanks to OP's of bargains (Sun Cream pack. Just saw 1 on very top shelf, Got an SA to fetch it down) and Easter Egg, Yogurt comparisions.
Bought Coconut/Lime as my 10th yogurt.