Renovations and Repayments.

JIL

Alex, I think you put too much time worrying about living in the future and then don't live in the present.
My son always wanted to learn, he could spell the names of dinosaurs before he could write his own name. Just be there for him, encourage him, support him.
My son still has a close relationship with his dad, he left home at 18 to go to uni, followed by a PhD and he now does post doc research that sometimes means he works for months at a time, overseas. His dad often goes out to spend a weekend, week or a few days with him on his travels. I'm sure I could go too, but they go to rugby matches and other such things and if I'm honest i am not a great traveller.
You won't lose your son, the relationship will change but it could be in a good way. What you do with him now is the start.

SueP19

JIL wrote: »

Alex, I think you put too much time worrying about living in the future and then don't live in the present.
My son always wanted to learn, he could spell the names of dinosaurs before he could write his own name. Just be there for him, encourage him, support him.
My son still has a close relationship with his dad, he left home at 18 to go to uni, followed by a PhD and he now does post doc research that sometimes means he works for months at a time, overseas. His dad often goes out to spend a weekend, week or a few days with him on his travels. I'm sure I could go too, but they go to rugby matches and other such things and if I'm honest i am not a great traveller.
You won't lose your son, the relationship will change but it could be in a good way. What you do with him now is the start.

I second that JIL My DD is 24 and when they are 7 the world is a scary place for a parent BUT as the years roll on you roll with the punches, or milestones

DD had a tv at 12, a mobile and ear piercing at 13, a laptop at 15, an iphone at 16 and an ipad at 17. She navigated a psychotic first boyfriend, who is lovely now but only after he threatened to knife her and we insisted the school got him help, a failed engagement to a no-hoper, an older mans advances on the internet. She now has a degree in law, a job in london and a lovely boyfriend..................she didn't do all that on her own, we taught her to seek the truth, not be taken in by people and to defend herself, then we let her go.

Yes we worry, yes we have arguments but I feel safe that she is her own person with her own mind, trust yourself that you will do a good job, be a friend when he needs one but be a parents when he needs one too, no matter his age

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Remember the last one found is always, the largest

ps Lttle LK has a bedtime curfew, so should you.

Thanks, Frayed Knot.

Regarding the negative attitude, I know exactly what causes it as ultimately whatever I do to help myself financially is rather meaningless. However, for some reason I do want to be more sensible with money than I was when younger.

Today, nothing done on the wheels front but a long working day and I went to look at something that potentially could've made £££s. However, it wasn't meant to be.

Re. bedtime curfew: my wife is worse than my son! She goes to bed early and straight to sleep for 8 hours EVERY DAY. :rotfl: Seriously, I'm rather envious. Anyway I agree, last night I did rather well and tonight I'm going to be in bed by midnight.

Fay wrote: »

No superiority from me Alex. re-read your statement, you might see how I interpreted it and I suspect others. But I'm not going to Get drawn into this.

But can I just point out you're wrong. A PhD is a doctor of philosophy and there are doctorates too. Mine is a ClinPsyD, but plenty of others. My qualifications, nor anything else, make me superior. But what I was trying to get across is hat just because someone grown up in a council house and goes to a local comp it does not dictate their life path. Neither does our parental values or attitudes, I was brought up with good ones. But there are many values I don't share with my parents. They just let me make my own way.

Well done in cleaning the wheels. I bet your interest in cars could be a great way to make money.

Sorry, I can see how my words could've been interpreted even though they were not meant that way.

Fair enough re. the doctorate. I thought things like ClinPsyD / EdD / EngD where professional qualifications and quite different from the academic PhD / traditional "doctorate". Anyhow, sorry for my somewhat sarcastic response. I hope I'll one day complete my PhD, though I doubt I'll ever manage to have an academic career now.

I understand one can grow up in a council house and be a good person. In fact, I teach a girl from a very deprived background. She is very, very good, very committed and would like to do a Music degree. I suppose I was making a generalisation as I do think people like my pupil are the exception rather than the rule. Well, that seems to be the case in the school I work / volunteer in.

The cars do make me a few ££££s per year. I could do better but it'd take the fun away if cars became my business rather than a hobby that pays for itself and for a few house renovations / mortgage overpayments.

JIL wrote: »

Alex, I think you put too much time worrying about living in the future and then don't live in the present.
My son always wanted to learn, he could spell the names of dinosaurs before he could write his own name. Just be there for him, encourage him, support him.
My son still has a close relationship with his dad, he left home at 18 to go to uni, followed by a PhD and he now does post doc research that sometimes means he works for months at a time, overseas. His dad often goes out to spend a weekend, week or a few days with him on his travels. I'm sure I could go too, but they go to rugby matches and other such things and if I'm honest i am not a great traveller.
You won't lose your son, the relationship will change but it could be in a good way. What you do with him now is the start.

JIL, you're right. I can't stop worrying about my son's future. I know it's because I can't cope with the world. It's irrational, as I'm sure my son is better than I.

AlexLK

SueP19 wrote: »

I second that JIL My DD is 24 and when they are 7 the world is a scary place for a parent BUT as the years roll on you roll with the punches, or milestones

DD had a tv at 12, a mobile and ear piercing at 13, a laptop at 15, an iphone at 16 and an ipad at 17. She navigated a psychotic first boyfriend, who is lovely now but only after he threatened to knife her and we insisted the school got him help, a failed engagement to a no-hoper, an older mans advances on the internet. She now has a degree in law, a job in london and a lovely boyfriend..................she didn't do all that on her own, we taught her to seek the truth, not be taken in by people and to defend herself, then we let her go.

Yes we worry, yes we have arguments but I feel safe that she is her own person with her own mind, trust yourself that you will do a good job, be a friend when he needs one but be a parents when he needs one too, no matter his age

Sue, from what I've read on here you set a good example.

AlexLK

Today has seen little to report as I've been busy with work again ... rather looking forward to next week, Easter Monday = quiet day with nothing much to do.

Tomorrow is looking quieter, so I'll do some decluttering prep after working and prep for course assignment. Also must fit some egg hunt prep in. Chance of all this getting done ... :rotfl: not sure, to be honest.

heartbreak_star

Nothing on the job front yet but thank you for asking

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS: Sorry to hear you've not found anything yet.

AlexLK

Well, so much for the plans today! I can say I did my work and not a lot else. Hardly know where the day has gone but I've managed to cover almost 80 miles (this seems to be a regular thing at the moment).

On the plus side, another fairly decent night's sleep had and not staying up much past midnight.

Had an excellent discussion with my son's Headmaster at school today about various things to do with primary education (not about my son, much wider). Left realising I can do nothing to shape how education is delivered though. Odd to think during my school days we were taught that we would be the next group of leaders, influential in many varied fields. No one ever thought to tell us that some would remain completely powerless.

A_Frayed_Knot

:j Alex - Loved reading your post tonight. These early(ish) nights are working :j

A_Frayed_Knot

Not sure if I'm doing the right thing here, BUT

Saw this ....... and thought of you ..........

http://ebay.co.uk/rpp/ebay-car-challenge