Renovations and Repayments.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

This is exactly the reason I want to start living to a budget and knowing what we spend.


My problem is I haven't a clue how to start or what would work for me. I do know I need to be able to live on a certain amount every month else things will end up getting very silly and there'll be nothing to pass onto my son one day.

AlexLK wrote: »

Considering trying a 'proper job' again (teaching) but realise that isn't going to happen until son goes to prep school due to time issues. Understand what you mean about keeping my mind from dwelling on the past. When I'm teaching, I've no time to think about the past at all, so that's a big plus for me, I enjoy it and it doesn't take the fun out of my hobbies. Appreciate it doesn't pay well (top salary of £36,000 for a job that requires everyone to be qualified to postgrad level is abysmal, really) but I can look beyond that and think the challenge and much less time to be dwelling on the past would be good for me.

AlexLK wrote: »

All very interesting points and really does make me wonder how much money I waste on a month to month basis.

Paying the mortgage doesn't motivate me as it is, ultimately, a pointless exercise and not one that will make my parents proud as our mortgage really isn't a large amount of money to them. Also, won't be living here forever. Wife sees being "independent" as important but frankly, we aren't independent or 'self made' and never will be.


I do know this is my problem. There are times I feel as if I'm some kind of spoilt child and it's not nice to know my parents don't trust me (can't blame them, though :rotfl:).

Apologies for butchering all your quotes but there are a few points that stand out.


On your family income, there's absolutely no reason why you can't be financially independent. As you must have realised from reading on here there are thousands, probably millions, of people who live happily on a fraction of what you have. Your problem seems not to be that you don't have enough money to live on independently but you don't have enough to match the lifestyle that you could have if your parents bankrolled you. Then there's the issue that although MrsK wants you to work together and look to the future you constantly disregard her (perfectly normal, and responsible in my opinion) wishes by seeing your family home and finances as a temporary measure and not worth taking seriously.


You're right that teaching is poorly paid considering the qualifications, hours and responsibilities. You're good at studying so why not go for the PGCE and then decide.


I think the SoA format on here is as good as any as a starting point for a budget then you can tweak it to add/remove anything that doesn't apply to your personal lifestyle. But another angle is to do the spending diary and analyse that. You'll probably end up with similar headings anyway. What you put under each heading is up to you. Personally I have groceries in one (that's the £50 per week for two people) but the wine budget comes under entertainment.:rotfl:

Goldiegirl

RE your spending diary and highlighting in red money spent 'for the sake of it'

Personally, I wouldn't do that.

The spending diary is just a collection of raw data which you'll use to populate a Statement of Affairs.

Once you've done your SOA you'll get a true picture of where your money is going, then you can look at where it's possible to make reductions.

cat1978

Hi Alex,

Just a thought I had when I was reading your diary - what would happen if you've waited all this time to inherit everything from your parents and when it finally happens they're left everything to little k, or the dogs trust etc. I know it's not likely, but stranger things have happened. Maybe you need to try and make the most out of life now rather than waiting for your parents to die???

Also, if you can't be a teacher until little k starts prep school, what is to stop you doing the studying now in preparation? It will keep you occupied and have something to focus on, and then when the time is right you are instantly ready to apply for jobs.

Cat xx

hiddenshadow

AlexLK wrote: »

As the situation is I find what we can save to be such a drop in the ocean that it's hardly worth the effort. I can understand it would be very satisfying to be 'self made', parents are smug enough about it but that just doesn't seem an option for me.

That doesn't necessarily mean it's not worth the effort. Maybe you only save 10% of your future net worth when you inherit - that's still 10% that you can take pride in, and 10% more for LittleK than he'd have had previously.

What motivates me? Honestly don't know the answer to that. In regard to what motivates me to work and study (I'm actually quite good at the latter), money is very low down on the list; I like the challenge and intellectual simulation.

Then maybe that's your thing - no reason you couldn't save up for a course, and/or save up for living expenses while you're taking time to study (so that any money MrsK brings in is "bonus" above and beyond what you need to pay bills).

I know this sounds like a rant but 30% of £500 is £150. Per year that's £1,800, after ten years there still wouldn't be enough capital to make a BTL deposit. Suddenly, that's a lot of pie in the sky. Using parents' current properties as leverage to buy more isn't, though.

I'd like to think I'm at least realistic about what money buys.

Well, firstly, I was referring to £500 per month, not per year. Plugging that in at 2% per year (you can get 3x that easily), 10 years of saving £150/mo would net you just shy of £20k. I don't know if that's enough to buy the sort of BTL property you'd be looking for, but surely it's a good whack at a deposit anyway. 10 years might seem like a long way off, but the time will pass either way - it's whether you have the option to buy a property in 10 years time or (still) wonder "where did I spend all that money?"

AlexLK

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

If you are up to sharing the data, I would even knock up a budget for you and then you can tweak it during 2016.

Interesting that your father is saying the same thing. How does he know you don't have one?

Night. Tilly

Will see if I manage to work out what we spend over December but if I do and the offer is still open, yes please.

As for my father, he knows because every time I've asked for money he's made comments about forward planning and me not knowing how much "things" cost. Not too long ago I told him I didn't need to know how much a pint of milk costs etc. etc.

maman wrote: »

Apologies for butchering all your quotes but there are a few points that stand out.

On your family income, there's absolutely no reason why you can't be financially independent. As you must have realised from reading on here there are thousands, probably millions, of people who live happily on a fraction of what you have. Your problem seems not to be that you don't have enough money to live on independently but you don't have enough to match the lifestyle that you could have if your parents bankrolled you. Then there's the issue that although MrsK wants you to work together and look to the future you constantly disregard her (perfectly normal, and responsible in my opinion) wishes by seeing your family home and finances as a temporary measure and not worth taking seriously.

You're right that teaching is poorly paid considering the qualifications, hours and responsibilities. You're good at studying so why not go for the PGCE and then decide.

I think the SoA format on here is as good as any as a starting point for a budget then you can tweak it to add/remove anything that doesn't apply to your personal lifestyle. But another angle is to do the spending diary and analyse that. You'll probably end up with similar headings anyway. What you put under each heading is up to you. Personally I have groceries in one (that's the £50 per week for two people) but the wine budget comes under entertainment.:rotfl:

If I disregarded my wife, I wouldn't still be living in the current house. To say I disregard her is utter nonsense, if anything she disregards me.

Think I will do the PGCE but want to finish current course first and also wait until son goes to prep school as if I were doing a PGCE right now there'd be no one to take him to school and pick him up.

My issue with the SOA is the fact I have no actual real figures to write in, so I'm going to do a spending diary for a month then use the SOA.

Goldiegirl wrote: »

RE your spending diary and highlighting in red money spent 'for the sake of it'

Personally, I wouldn't do that.

The spending diary is just a collection of raw data which you'll use to populate a Statement of Affairs.

Once you've done your SOA you'll get a true picture of where your money is going, then you can look at where it's possible to make reductions.

Thanks, Goldie.

AlexLK

cat1978 wrote: »

Hi Alex,

Just a thought I had when I was reading your diary - what would happen if you've waited all this time to inherit everything from your parents and when it finally happens they're left everything to little k, or the dogs trust etc. I know it's not likely, but stranger things have happened. Maybe you need to try and make the most out of life now rather than waiting for your parents to die???

Also, if you can't be a teacher until little k starts prep school, what is to stop you doing the studying now in preparation? It will keep you occupied and have something to focus on, and then when the time is right you are instantly ready to apply for jobs.

Cat xx

I do know that won't happen. The whole thing is very complicated and is not so much about waiting for my parents to die as I'd imagine things like this usually are. To be honest, I'd rather not go into it.

A PGCE is a very intense course. If I were to leave my current course and start a PGCE next September my son would have no one to take him and pick him up from school.

hiddenshadow wrote: »

That doesn't necessarily mean it's not worth the effort. Maybe you only save 10% of your future net worth when you inherit - that's still 10% that you can take pride in, and 10% more for LittleK than he'd have had previously.

Then maybe that's your thing - no reason you couldn't save up for a course, and/or save up for living expenses while you're taking time to study (so that any money MrsK brings in is "bonus" above and beyond what you need to pay bills).

Well, firstly, I was referring to £500 per month, not per year. Plugging that in at 2% per year (you can get 3x that easily), 10 years of saving £150/mo would net you just shy of £20k. I don't know if that's enough to buy the sort of BTL property you'd be looking for, but surely it's a good whack at a deposit anyway. 10 years might seem like a long way off, but the time will pass either way - it's whether you have the option to buy a property in 10 years time or (still) wonder "where did I spend all that money?"

Hiddenshadow, I think you and I see the whole hypothetical 10% thing very differently. I don't believe my situation is anything to take pride in, it's quite sad to know you're not good enough to match your parents' achievements.

Regarding my wife's earnings, she earns a lot more than I do and would have no problem paying the bills if I did absolutely nothing. I'm currently studying a second MA part time, so am still involved in that world.

Agree I need to know where money is spent and not be thinking "where did I spend it?" but I see no point in putting tiny amounts of money away to buy a BTL in ten years time. I'd be much better putting every penny into paying the mortgage ASAP on the current property, getting all the work done on it and selling for c.£300,000 to fund some potential property investments (and fun ). Should I wish to make property a full time endeavour, doing that plus releasing the equity from parents' paid for BTL properties would provide the base for quite a serious business. However, I'm not that committed.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

If I disregarded my wife, I wouldn't still be living in the current house. To say I disregard her is utter nonsense, if anything she disregards me.

Ouch!:o


Sorry, I should have been more specific. You know I'm not MrsK's greatest fan as I think she can be extremely selfish and irresponsible. What I meant is disregarding her wishes specifically about not standing on your own feet as a family unit. I know you're still in your own home and paying your own way but there's rarely a day that goes by that you don't mention the fact that you want to move to your parents' home and let them fund a different lifestyle.

AlexLK

First day of spending diary and Mrs K has decided she doesn't want to tell me what she's spent after all. :mad::mad::mad: I've made it clear that it doesn't matter as this is purely data collection but after all her "this is a good idea" chat, when it happens apparently it's all my fault.

I've done well: £1.75 spent.

maman wrote: »

Ouch!:o

Sorry, I should have been more specific. You know I'm not MrsK's greatest fan as I think she can be extremely selfish and irresponsible. What I meant is disregarding her wishes specifically about not standing on your own feet as a family unit. I know you're still in your own home and paying your own way but there's rarely a day that goes by that you don't mention the fact that you want to move to your parents' home and let them fund a different lifestyle.

I just want to move on and think my parents' house would be a better place for my son to spend his childhood. Not really sure what's wrong with that? Furthermore, if money wasn't an issue, I'd hopefully be a lot better.

newgirly

If money was not an issue Alex maybe something else would be? I know some very wealthy people and some that struggle, and to me there seems no difference in their levels of happiness, its more to do with personality. Things that floor me others can cope with and vice versa, and whilst lots of money would cheer me up no end, I would still be lying in bed at 1am fretting over the same old things, the row with dh earlier , the kids futures and whether I have to go to the inlaws for xmas :rotfl:

On another note, would your dw be open to an allowance for herself that you don't keep track of and you keeping a diary of everything else?

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

I've done well: £1.75 spent.

I just want to move on and think my parents' house would be a better place for my son to spend his childhood. Not really sure what's wrong with that? Furthermore, if money wasn't an issue, I'd hopefully be a lot better.

Hardly an extravagant day!!:rotfl:I think another spin off of a spending diary is that it makes me think twice before spending. I don't keep one any more but the 'do I need it or just want it?' habit has stuck.


What I see wrong with your wish to move in with parents is that it's not your home, it's theirs, and similarly their money. Money is only an issue to you because you want to have a lifestyle which is beyond your means (although comfortable by most people's standards) which makes you dissatisfied.


:mad: to MrsK being uncooperative.