Top Table Arrangements - Tradition?

lucifersangel87

Hi all,

Does anyone know what the tradition is for a wedding top table when one parent is deceased?

My dad died when I was young, and my mum has now got a new partner. To be honest he's a bit of a waster, and mum could do much much better. But mum is insisting he sits at the top table with us.
Vanessa's got both her parents and three bridesmaids to seat, as well as two best men and two ushers.

Some have suggested just the bridal party on the top table and have a second table for 'parents and close family'.

Any ideas?

Ta
Martin

arbroath_lass

How would you feel if your Mum refused to come to the wedding because she didn't like your choice of partner? If you liked him would it be an issue? Is it honestly worth upsetting your Mum over?

Gingernutty

You might want to remove your and your fiancee's names.

persa

Forget tradition, what do you and Vanessa feel most comfortable doing?

You say your mum has a new "partner" rather than new "boyfriend". Possibly because she's older than you and boyfriend seems inappropriate, but is it because he's not actually that new, and they've been together for a while? If they have been together for a decent length of time, I'd be tempted to seat them together, wherever that might be.

For me, it would be more important to have my mum near me than to not have her partner near me, IYSWIM.

BitterAndTwisted

TWO best men?

Mojisola

Because of the complications of parents' new partners and/or divorced parents not getting on, it's not unusual for the couple to have a 'sweetheart table' for two and the rest of the bridal party be seated at the next two closest tables.

Gloomendoom

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

TWO best men?

I had two best men... and one was a woman.

No bridesmaids though.

KxMx

My friend had close friends who were in the bridal party at her top table, with the respective parents on the next table.

Go with whatever you & the bride would like It's not really down to your Mum.

mummyroysof3

My parents are seperated and both remarried. I didn't like my step mum so we didn't have a top table and people sat where they wanted, we didn't have a posh sit down meal type reception though so it worked lol.

Princess_kate

I had us, 4 of my 5 bridesmaids & their partners on my "top table" All of the tables were round so we weren't all sat in a row, not what we wanted at all. My sister was bridesmaid but was on my mums table & my dad had a table of his wife & family & my husbands family, including his brother who was the best man were there. Worked well for us, for 1 I didn't want to be sat in a line eating m dinner in front of everyone and it took away the issues of is step parents should be on the top table etc. Family dynamics now mean "tradition" doesn't work for a lot of people, do what you're happy with, it's your day.

stormbreaker

Traditionally your Mum would be sitting beside your new father in law and your father beside your new mum in law, so if you do want to follow tradition it should not matter to your Mum if her new partner is there as he wouldn't be sitting beside her. Again traditionally it is normall only the best man and best maid at the top table. So no ushers or other brides maids.

When I got married both in laws has new partners, one engaged, one newly married. The in laws sat at the top table and their partners elsewhere

It's your wedding you have to do what makes you happy, a separate table for parents and others maybe the best bet however your new in laws might not like that.

On another note, the only thing I insisted on at my wedding was that the 'new' partners were not part of the official wedding family photos. They were more than welcome to get photos together but not in with the traditional ones. No one complained and it's something I am pleased I did at the time, cause 25yrs later we are still together with two lovely sons, my in laws on the other hand have move on more than once:eek: As my sons were growing up we did not have to try and explain who any of the 'strangers' in the main wedding photos were :rotfl: