The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

camelot1001

HH - I think you did very well to hold yourself back! I really wish I could do something to help, please try to look after yourself.

Had a shocking afternoon at work, can't say too much but it involved a child, parents and Social Work. Had to give the hospice a miss as I would have been so late it wouldn't have been worth it. Not really in the mood anyway after today.

Sat here in the half light enjoying the silence, really must get up and do something soon!

Hard_Up_Hester

Thanks everyone, Candlelight, please don't worry, your comment made me laugh, I often do expect to meet myself coming back one day.
All I can do is keep on keeping on, it is difficult in some ways working at DGS's school, DD has insisted school keep me out of the loop, but when she won't engage with them I am the next port of call.
It's easier in other ways working at DGS's school as it means that it is harder for DD to hide what is going on. I am happy to not engage with DD if that is what she wants, but I cannot watch DGS, or any other child crumble under intolerable pressure.
I would do, for any child, what I do for DGS. When the support wasn't as good as it is now for our more vulnerable students I bought many a lunch for a hungry child, provided sanitary items, knickers, socks and toiletries, hemmed clothing, replaced zips etc for students in need, Students I had no other contact with apart from brief 'hello' in passing. I think we would all do the same.
Hester

nursemaggie

You stay there and enjoy the silence Camalot there can't be anything as urgent as you getting some equilibrium.

Hugs to both you and Hester

pollyanna_26

Hester A quick post as I'm just home from a long hard day . Can you try a different tack with your daughter although for the moment if possible still keep helping your Grandson for now . There are alarm bells in my head at the moment that your daughter needs to see her doctor . I don't know her or her history but mental health as you know can take all forms . I don't know if she would see her doctor or tell you where to go but when it involves a child as you know yourself it has to be dealt with .
I am another who has joked about your limitless energy but I often am pushing myself too hard . You can't keep pushing yourself financially and physically / emotionally . If you can't get her to talk to you I suggest if you both attend the same GP you can express your concerns - most good doctors will listen to you but wont discuss the patient but this can help things get sorted .
Take care love you've got more than enough on your plate as it is .
polly x

monnagran

Hester,my love, I'm not so sure that just anyone would do all that. It never ceases to amaze me how selfish and self centred some folk can be. You, and I, and most of the people on this thread would be quick to look after anyone in need, especially children but it ain't necessarily so with the population at large.

When I was running the Homeless project I was staggered by other people's comments. Often people who should have known better.
You, my dear are an angel who is worth knowing.

As for your DD I'm not sure what to say. It's so hard when you have brought up your own family with hardly any help from any quarter to then have to do it all again, just when you should be looking forward to a bit of an easier life and a bit more 'me' time.
If your DD is having mental issues she really should be having some help from themedics. Is there anyone who can talk to her about this? Obviously not you but does she have a partner or close friend who would be prepared to step up and help? When we realised that my Mum was losing it mentally I wrote to her doctor spelling out the situation and begging him not to let either of my parents know that I had written. Bless him, he managed to get the whole process of diagnosis and a support structure in place and my Dad died many years later still singing the praises of the doctor who had "spotted the problem."

I bet you are tired of being the strong one. Like everyone on here I so wish I could do something to help, but make sure that you come on here and unload whenever you need to.

Candles lit and loving thoughts sent to you.

x

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

She's still around. She's been speed-reading/thanking posts on another thread that I suspect is being boycotted somewhat at the moment.:lipsrseal - as its turned nasty at the moment.

These things happen sometimes on MSE...

Can't see any sign of a boycot.

ivyleaf

So sorry Hester, you rant on here all you need to!xx (((HUGS))) to you, and also to camelot.

Floss

Hester have PM'd you xx

GreyQueen

Hi guys, popping into a thread I don't read (no reason other than time constraints, dammit Janet, I can't seem to handle more than 2-3 threads at a time) just to say 'hi'. I'm out of the house from 8.30 until 4 on weekdays, and that's if I don't run any errands after w*rk.

Plus don't always feel up to having pooter on in evenings as my call-centre job has me glued to a pooter screen and flying about 13 programs simultaneously at speed, which can leave a body feeling a wee bit frazzled at times, and not wanting to be on a pooter at home.

:heartpuls If I'm not with you in fact, I'm with you in spirit, and will be back in a day or so.

((((Hester)))) I'm really sorry to hear about Hubby's mother, and all the rest of the stuff going on.


Righty, better mosey on over to SHTF and Kon Marie and see what the gang are up to.

Love and peas, GQ xx

Softstuff

ivyleaf wrote: »

DD1 used to put so much suncream on DGS that he was as pale as a wraith but she said, listening to other mums at the nursery gate, that some of them genuinely believed babies don't get sunburnt :eek: so weren't putting any suncream on their littl'uns at all!

Of course you should learn to drive an earthmover Softstuff, it would be brilliant fun

My Grandfather in law believes skin cancer has nothing to do with sun exposure and that you build tolerance to sun exposure. My father in law (I believe not indirectly), has had Basal cell carcinomas, squamous cell carcinomas and even melanomas removed. He visits a surgeon every 6 months to be checked and have new things removed.

And I suspect me driving an earthmover would be more fun for those not left to deal with the aftermath :rotfl:

Hester, you'll be missed in Blackpool but it is a bit far for many. I'm just not that mobile when I get to England. Having read your blog for some time Hester, I'm well aware of how much you do for your entire family. It's so far above and beyond what most do it beggars belief anyone could say that. You were very restrained in not educating her with your fist.