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Moving In With Girlfriend

Fencer
Fencer Posts: 18 Forumite
Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
edited 12 October 2021 at 11:56AM in Child support
How much should I pay? She said half of the mortgage (and half of all bills).

However, based on the fact that she owns the flat and has already contributed a lot to the flat (deposit and years of mortgage payments) and I am moving from a rented flat, then I feel that I should be offering more than half of the mortgage.

Should our relative earnings come into it at all?

I want to be fair, but I don't want to be insulting (macho guy coming in, flashing salary, taking over...)

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Comments

  • Piggywiggy
    Piggywiggy Posts: 452 Forumite
    Why should you pay half the mortgage when it is her mortgage for her own flat?
  • TBeckett100
    TBeckett100 Posts: 4,732 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Cashback Cashier
    Pay half the mortgage and if it goes belly up you can probably claim a share of the property.

    The fact she has paid a lot into the property on any view means she will benefit if you break up so I wouldn't feel the need to pay more than your share of the running costs. It's her property and her equity
  • pay what she is happy for you to pay... as long as you are happy to pay it.

    get it really really clear at this stage and it will help the relationship flow.

    money was an issue and a contributing factor in the demise of my relationship, even though I paid 50:50 on all bills.

    my ex wanted 50:50 on everything, which I did, but she got £250pcm in child maintenance and I had to pay £200 in child maintenance...?

    where was the £250pcm going if I paid 50% of the bills, I never could work it out....???

    just make it clear now rather than later....
  • thriftylass
    thriftylass Posts: 4,033 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Whatever works for you. We split the bills according to our income so that lets say both parties paid 60% of their wages towards bills/had 60% outgoings. You could always offer to pay the groceries and other bills rather than towards the mortgage.

    The only real advice is though, talk about about it and decide on what both of you agree on so that no-one feels disadvantaged. Only you know your relation ship and how serious it is, and wether it is sensible to pay towards the mortgage or rather take over other bills.
    DEBT 02/25: total £6100 Debt free date 12/25
  • fivetide
    fivetide Posts: 3,811 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    As above, you aren't renting together you will be paying her mortgage. That could be a tricky item at some point so if you really are lodging or renting a room, it might be best to get something drawn up to that effect.
    What if there was no such thing as a rhetorical question?
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    Fencer wrote: »
    How much should I pay? She said half of the mortgage (and half of all bills).

    However, based on the fact that she owns the flat and has already contributed a lot to the flat (deposit and years of mortgage payments) and I am moving from a rented flat, then I feel that I should be offering more than half of the mortgage.

    Should our relative earnings come into it at all?

    I want to be fair, but I don't want to be insulting (macho guy coming in, flashing salary, taking over...)

    She's crazy!

    If you pay half the mortgage, you gain a claim on the property. An actualy legal claim to have money, and possibly force a sale - if things dont work out.
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    fivetide wrote: »
    As above, you aren't renting together you will be paying her mortgage. That could be a tricky item at some point so if you really are lodging or renting a room, it might be best to get something drawn up to that effect.

    The OP didnt say that?
  • bathwiggle
    bathwiggle Posts: 69 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    I asked my partner to ay 50% bills, and if he wanted anything extra, ie sky tv then all of that. But i didn't have him pay anything that could count as towards the mortgage. He was told to put the difference aside to count as deposit when we bought together. Which he did and we now have.
  • fivetide
    fivetide Posts: 3,811 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Guest101 wrote: »
    The OP didnt say that?

    That is the reality - my suggestion is to stop the scenario you posted directly above this slightly strange response.


    Either he buys equity and it becomes a joint property or he is officially lodging/renting a room and a legal doc stops any claim on the mortgage.


    Ta.
    What if there was no such thing as a rhetorical question?
  • Fencer
    Fencer Posts: 18 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Oh, wow. I did not expect it to be complicated in the slightest. I'm not looking to take money from her. I just wondered what was a fair amount to offer her.
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