Please help me - re: Housing

Elle00

Post Deleted

a1969baby

Hi Elle83

My heart goes out to you, it really does, I don't know how to do a hug icon, but would send you one if I did

I can understand the situation you are in and how frustrated you must feel

I have been in similar circumstances as you, and I agree it is very hard to pay private rental prices when you are working and not getting full benefits, although when you are privately renting the rent isn't always paid in full by the council and you can find yourself worse off.

After being on the council waiting list here for over 8 years, I only got a house after my private tenancy expired and the owners wanted to sell the house. I was therefore homeless and the council had a duty to house me and this was in a hostel. I spent 2 months in the hostel before I was allocated a housing association house, which wasn't very long for this area.

I don't really know what to advise that you do and I don't know whether giving up a tenancy because it is too expensive would count as making yourself voluntarily homeless (and therefore there is no obligation to house you) it might be worth asking the local CAB about this?

It sounds like you are under a great deal of stress, and it might be worth asking your doctor/health visitor to write a letter to this effect, which you can pass onto your local council.

Are you able to apply to local housing assocation for a house, or are they all allocated through the council?

I wouldn't advise you to give up your job, because 1) it gives you an escape from the flat and 2) It is helping towards yours and your son's future.

Try not to worry about the Water bill too much, If you ring them they will probably be able to sort out a reasonable repayment plan with you

xx

WestonDave

Sounds like a good cry may have been a long time coming! Your other posts (e.g. the one last night) suggest a fighter who has been doing her utmost to provide a better life for her son - that's admirable but it comes at a cost to your reserves which seem to have hit rock bottom!

You won't get better housing by your own admission by going the benefits route, and you'd still be at the mercy of the council putting you whereever they wanted to - so while it may be cheaper it may be a worse area.

Hard as it may seem my advice would be to get some wear out of your carpets before you have to replace them and let DS do whatever damage he will do as a wee one here, and then when he starts school (yes that probably seems a lifetime away) and you have the childcare costs to add to your budget then you can look for something better in an area you want to be in.

In the meantime you can hold your head up and know that you are providing for your son by your hard work not having it handed on a plate, and if nothing else he should be proud of that as he grows up.

Hopefully a weekend away from the stress of the new job, and no more post to bring new questions to answer, preferably with some nice weather may make you a bit stronger to fight on by Monday. Hope you start to find some positives soon.

a1969baby

Elle,

You do have to live, you have a son who loves you and relies on you.

From what you have said you seem to have come so far since those dark days when you tried to slit your wrists. You have a lovely little boy, a good job, and are providing for a roof over your heads and food on the table (even if its not one you want)

The lady at the council had no right to speak to you the way she did, but the sad fact is that a lot of the people in these jobs have never experienced what you are, and therefore have very little empathy for your situation. You are definitely not a useless mother!! Also, I'm not sure she can say you will never get a house, as as far as I am aware you get whatever is available! I'm not sure if you drive or not, but make sure you put down for as many areas you can (we can do 9 here) to maximise your chances.

As I said before, I do know how you feel. Life as a single parent is hard work enough as it is, without throwing in a full time job, housing problems, nursery problems and everything else as well!

Good luck at the doctors, be sure to tell him exactly how you are feeling

xx

katiesmummy

hun your posts made me cry, you are obviously in an awful living situation right now which is not helped by your health problems and obvious worries about your little boy.

did you think about contacting your local mp? i had a friend who did this after being refused a 3 bed flat on the basis that she was underpopulated (in a 2 bed with 4 kids). she went to our local mp's evening surgery and although i'm not sure exactly what he/she did i know that my friend got her move pretty quick.
also, once environmental health have been round, if they say that yes there are problems with xyz, what about threatening the council with going to the papers or watchdog? no idea if this would do any good, it just popped into my head as its what my dad does whenever he is unhappy with the service from somewhere!
errm social services? i think you can ask your gp or health visitor to make a referral to them for you, for support more than anything else. i know that they have funds available for people who really need them as well, so if environmental health do say this that and the other, they may help you with moving costs etc. dont be scared of contacting them as you havent done anything wrong. i was terrified out of my life about contacting them when my dd was a baby and i was living in a hostel full of rats and cockroaches- i thought that they would take my dd away from me, but they pushed the council on my behalf and got me moved to my flat within 6 weeks, so they can be very helpful sometimes
please dont take this the wrong way hun, but it sounds like you are in a very fragile state mentally right now- please please please make sure that your gp makes a huge point of this on any more letters that he writes to the council. if you want to talk, please pm me- i have suffered really bad depression in the past and am a cutter when things get too much for me, even now sometimes, so just please pm if you want to chat
take care
xx

TheWaltons_3

Elle go and get some help sweetheart, you need it.

Does the housing system still run on points? Go tell them you are depressed and suicidal - well maybe not but you have just mentioned on a public forum about slitting your wrists - and get signed off from work for a few months to sort yourself out.

scooper

hi
i would second the advise about seeing your local mp,has worked for me and a friend of mine.

I feel for the situation you are in regarding housing,seems once you are in private rent you are forgotton about by councils and housing asscs.

You have to remain strong for your son and of course yourself,easier said than done i know when bad luck keeps coming.
I do think though that the waltons was actually trying to be nice and maybe you shouldnt really bite her head off when she actually didnt really say anything offensive,i dont see sweetheart as offensive personally.

good luck in whatever happens and hope you get luck with a house where you will be happier.

TheWaltons_3

Elle83 wrote: »

TheWaltons I know you are only 21 but I do still wonder what world you live in sometimes and especially why you would post on my thread having seen I am clearly very distressed and knowing full well that I like you even less than you like me; unless of course you did so to cause further upset. This might be a "public forum" but do you know me personally? No, because the beauty of seeking support form a forum like this is that it is anonymous to an extent. It's really not supportive to call someone who is older and wiser than you "sweetheart" either - it's patronising and offensive.

I don't need signing off form work thanks because I'm on probation and would INSTANTLY lose my much sought-after job for it; there might not be another opportunity like this so I daren't risk it. You have no legal rights to any job during probation. As for "go tell the council..." I already said in my OP that I have 3 medical points - the maximum awarded for moderate medical needs. It's equivilant to waiting an extra 3m which means sod all when you're looking at a 5 - 10yr wait.

I don't need a few months to "sort myself out" I need AND RECEIVE ongoing support for my difficulties coping with stress. That's exactly what this is - an extreme reaction to stress. I thought posting on here WAS getting some "help" too but I'm sorry if you feel I am too psychotic to be given help in a "normal" way regardless of the amount of time I spend offering it to others.

My GP and I talked things over and she's given me a boost to sort some of this mess out.

A huge thanks to the posters who've offered such lovely support and advice; it's all been taken on board. And yes WesternDave, I am usually one to keep at things and this is something my GP also pointed out to me! I am just feeling very overwhelmed today because it feels like I don't have the power to solve any of my own problems and it makes me feel totally helpless. I'm going to work on a plan of action like my GP suggested and see if it might really be possible to move to another private rental afterall.

Thanks again for all the supportive posts.

Elle excuse me? I have no idea what you are going on about, what makes you think I dislike you?

And what makes you think I am 21? :rotfl: Ohhh how I would love to be 21 again! I am older than you. And I cope with 3 children, and am in debt, and am sick of society... but JOIN THE CLUB.



Anyway, you clearly are unhinged and do need some sort of help. You post your depressing ramblings on the forum, entitled, please help - what are we supposed to do about it?

I almost needed to lie down after reading your whinging post.

You are always going on about how you're a single mother blah blah blah and how you want to work etc....

.. you never take anyones advice, you just whinge.

What gives you the right to demand attention like a baby and then abuse people for giving you support.

You do need help. Even mentioning slitting your wrists is very worrying.

AND BEFORE YOU TAKE OFFENCE, READ WHAT YOU WROTE TO ME.

frannyann

ellie,
So sorry to read all the difficulties you have struggled through. You should be very, very proud of yourself for all you have achieved. I would, like others, suggest local MP and maybe the local paper too. Local newspaper always like a "terrible council" story and MP will be all too willing to jump on puplicity (sp) wagon. Get hold of your nearest Shelter group, they will help you build a case for re-housing. Good Luck

Curious_George_2

TheWaltons wrote: »

Elle excuse me? I have no idea what you are going on about, what makes you think I dislike you?

And what makes you think I am 21? :rotfl: Ohhh how I would love to be 21 again! I am older than you. And I cope with 3 children, and am in debt, and am sick of society... but JOIN THE CLUB.


Anyway, you clearly are unhinged and do need some sort of help. You post your depressing ramblings on the forum, entitled, please help - what are we supposed to do about it?

I almost needed to lie down after reading your whinging post.

You are always going on about how you're a single mother blah blah blah and how you want to work etc....

.. you never take anyones advice, you just whinge.

What gives you the right to demand attention like a baby and then abuse people for giving you support.

You do need help. Even mentioning slitting your wrists is very worrying.

ok, retaliation posts aside, she doesnt really need this kind of post right now...
Elle is clearly having a bad day (and who doesnt have them) and you calling her unhinged and trotting around her on your high horse is not what she needs,

ive seen a couple of posts where you do this to people who just dont need your particular brand of advice at that moment, there is no need to be so harsh!
if you have nothing constructive to say, id stay out of it...

TheWaltons_3

Curious_George wrote: »

ok, retaliation posts aside, she doesnt really need this kind of post right now...
Elle is clearly having a bad day (and who doesnt have them) and you calling her unhinged and trotting around her on your high horse is not what she needs,

ive seen a couple of posts where you do this to people who just dont need your particular brand of advice at that moment, there is no need to be so harsh!
if you have nothing constructive to say, id stay out of it...

Take a good read of this. http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=508595


Another bad day?


Elle asking for help regarding Nappy Rash, then abusing people for replying, claiming they are insulting her parenting skills. :eek:

Why post if you don't want replies?

I wont put up with being insulted by anyone.

Ok, so she is slightly neurotic, but like I said before, she needs help.