Feeling Lonely and Depressed with my Debt Situation

Casa_Mia1

Hello Guys,

I decided to write in here in an attempt to relieve the pressure I feel inside from being in so much debts and not knowing what the next steps would be. I tried to find support groups with no luck. I feel very anxious and sad to be in this situation. I will share my story in order to show other people in debts that they are not alone and people like me can be in a worse situation than them.

I have had a retail business for the last 5 years but for the last 24 months, it has been really bad, with turnover more than 60% down. This and the fact that about a year ago my then partner tried to kill me with a knife and had to leave home, leaving me to look after 3 kids by myself with no maintenance payments and a huge mortgage to pay. Needless to say, I haven't been able to make any mortgage payments since and the bank is threatening to repossess the house, plus I accumulated £89,000 in debts trying to rescue my business and trying to survive the last year. We had a comfortable life so it meant very high outgoings every month until I had to cut most of them and cut my credit cards too.

My business is the verge of bankruptcy and I am currently living out of the Tax Credits I was rewarded for the kids, which is not enough. I would like to sell the house which has a very big equity but my ex partner who is now in jail for what he has done to me, said he will not sign the house until he is dead. So I am having to find money too to pay the solicitors that said that the bill will add up to £50K at the end of the trial.

I had cancer 7 years ago, and received a critical illness insurance payout of £300,000. With that I paid most of the mortgage off. That is the reason I am not giving him half of the house as he wishes and I am fighting in court for it.

I have no money, my business is finished, I owe money to credit cards (I managed to go on a DMP with StepChange) but even so I still receive phone calls and letters and the debt still growing.

I am looking for a job at the moment but being out of the circuit for such a while does make it easy either.

I just want to be able to sell my house, get rid of this ex-partner horrible person, pay all my debts and move on with my life. How hard is that?

C xx

Angry_Bear

Didn't want to read and run, but I'm not sure how much good advice I have to give!

The only thing I would really suggest is trying to separate your business and your personal finances. Hopefully the debts are tied up with your business and "it" can go bankrupt without "you" going bankrupt (if you see what I mean). You can then worry about dealing with the house, and life going forwards, separately.

Good luck and (((hugs))).

On_my_way

Hi

You have had so much to deal with. The first thing you should probably do is cease trading if your business is costing you more than it is earning but I am not at all qualified to say that so you need serious advice.

Do you have things at home that you could sell? You said that you had a pay out of £300k that you used to pay the mortgage- but you still have a mortgage now - will your ex agree to even sell the house? Can you not over rule his decision if he is in prison?

I am sure others on here will come up with good ideas. Be prepared for good advice and it might make uncomfortable reading but it will help you.

I hope you are ok - there will be a way out of this so don't worry, especially with the equity in your home. Have you spoken to your mortgage lender? If you haven't you really need to.

Casa_Mia1

On_my_way wrote: »

Hi

You have had so much to deal with. The first thing you should probably do is cease trading if your business is costing you more than it is earning but I am not at all qualified to say that so you need serious advice.

Do you have things at home that you could sell? You said that you had a pay out of £300k that you used to pay the mortgage- but you still have a mortgage now - will your ex agree to even sell the house? Can you not over rule his decision if he is in prison?

I am sure others on here will come up with good ideas. Be prepared for good advice and it might make uncomfortable reading but it will help you.

I hope you are ok - there will be a way out of this so don't worry, especially with the equity in your home. Have you spoken to your mortgage lender? If you haven't you really need to.

Thanks for the post, he will not sign for the house to sell hence the need to go to court and spend thousands of pounds in solicitors. My solicitor is now trying to get a summary judgement as he is in jail but it's not certain she will be successful. Life is a mystery at the moment and I just hope I don't get ill again with all the stress.

I have spoken to Barclays and they are currently on hold but I don't know for how long...

Casa_Mia1

Does anyone know of a Support Group for the ones in debt n London?

Pixie5740

I don't know of any debt support groups in London but what I am going to suggest is talking with one of the debt charities: CAP, National Debtline or Step Change as they might be able to help you find a way forward.

For your business maybe contacting Business Debt Line or Payplan would be a good starting point.

I take it you and your now ex-partner aren't married so the property can't be sorted out through divorce proceedings? Did you ever have a Deed of Trust drawn up when you purchased the property together?

Casa_Mia1

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I take it you and your now ex-partner aren't married so the property can't be sorted out through divorce proceedings? Did you ever have a Deed of Trust drawn up when you purchased the property together?

Yes we are not married and we did not have a Deed of Trust drawn up when we bought the property that's why we are in such a mess as the solicitor says that when couples are not married they will take from the relationship when it breaks what they invested. That is why I am having to prove how much input I had in the purchasing and paying off the mortgage.

On_my_way

The best thing you can do at the moment is invest time in getting together all of your evidence - past bank statements etc. Online banking or even in branch can help you with this.

Keep on this forum, we will all be there for you.

Bobarella

Casa Mia - nice to meet you, wish the circumstances were better. I sympathise it sounds a living nightmare. I have a small business too & the downward spiral of trying to keep it all going when trade disappears is hugely stressful. Is there no chance of reviving it now? Can it be sold as a going concern? Do you think outside investment could save you such as via crowd sourcing websites?
I have spoken with the business debt helpline mentioned myself as I got behind on some PAYE due to a terrible situation and I found them to be very helpful.
Bob

Savedotmoney

Just wanted to drop by and say I wish you the best of luck, especially with what you have been through. I'm sure the guys here will help you out best they can.

[Deleted User]

What might be helpful in terms of seeing the wood from the trees, is to print out your original post, and cross out all the bits that would just "disappear" if you folded the business tomorrow.

That way, you'll be able to see what issues you'll still have down the line, as purely an "unemployed person", without the business clouding things.

Then, you can go from there.