Feeling Lonely and Depressed with my Debt Situation

Bobarella

Casa Mia - How are you doing today?

40+

Casa Mia, I also wanted to say hello and try and be supportive. I went through a load of stuff although not similar to you but events I felt I had no control over. I am slowly coming out the other side and with the help and advice of a good many people here got me through a particularly rough time. Remember there are many here to listen and help and try not to let it get too much. Although it may not seem like it at the moment you will get through and come out the other side.

Just seeing messages from others on here made me feel less suicidal and once you have an outlet...

Regards
Tom

Sazzie23

Hi Casa

Sorry your circs are so tough at the moment, you sound like a very strong person to have gotten through so far so I know you have it in you to find a way forward.

Debt is very isolating and stressful, single parenthood can be isolating and stressful, life changing business circs can be isolating and stressful so it's no wonder you feel so down. I hope you've realised we (the amazing folk on the boards) are here for you.

Not sure if I've got anything practical to add, but I think maybe your troubles as a whole are too big to tackle in one go, so prioritise. Let's assume your business isn't salvageable, if you shut it down will you stop accruing more costs? I think your plan is to sell the house to cover the debts...totally understand, & especially that you want to cut ties with your Ex, but ..... Solicitors fees and costs for this sort of action can run in to many thousands ££. Make sure you have checked this is the best way to go by contacting national debtline for advice. I thought of perhaps you moving out and renting the house to raise income, but it depends on what you'd have pay yourself to rent somewhere half decent.

So in short my advice is try to take a step back, look at what you need to do and what you want to do, and make sure you are not going down any costly routes which might turn out to be dead ends.

And remember we are here for sounding out ideas.

For face to face support, consider checking out support groups for survivors,of domestic violence, many will have debt problems,that you can relate to.

xJOJOx_2

Hi casa

I feel your pain and struggle. These are tough times for you. Just try and remenber that this is only a part of your life and you will get through this to better times. Focus on the end goal. And being apart from a boyfriend who did that to you is one positive. Try not to let everything costume. Try to emotional detach yourself from the debts. Do what has to be done and then try not to fret over it. When I went through hard times I lived my life in 15 mins at a time, ie right in the next 15 mins I will paint a picture with the children etc etc focus only on that set task. It stops you sitting and worrying about the debt. Worrying can not solve it. Give yourself a set amount of time to do tasks you need and then put it aside.
Living on tax credits is hard, but it can be done. You just need to change the way you spend. As debts are slowly paid off you get paid more and more cash to live off.
Good luck, it won't be forever xx

Sazzie23

Thanks JoJo for that 15 min advice, I've been using the same strategy with hour long slots, i,e, for the next hour I will sort through the cupboards, work on the budget, make phone calls, but I can see that a 15 min time scale might be more productive for some things that are especially hard. Great post

sourcrates

What I did when I was in serious debt and unsure that action to take, was to play letter tennis with all my creditors.
I treated it like a game, if they wrote to me demanding money, I would respond, with a "provit" letter, once they'd responded to that, I'd do a CCA request, or dispute the amount they were chasing me for, anything to buy me some time, and to play the system.
If they rung me, I'd ask them what colour car they had, or what they had for breakfast, it was amazing how easy it was to put them off there script lol !!!!
It took away a lot of the worry, as it's the thought of the unknown that is the worst thing.

It bought me some breathing space, and gave me back a little bit of control.