How to be diplomatic?

gayleygoo

I'm with the others - wish your relative good luck, but say you are not interested in the product. You wouldn't be a long term customer anyway, so it won't harm her business if you don't buy anything.

I have been to a couple of Ann Summers parties in support of the friends hosting them, which have been a good laugh and while I have spent money because there was an expectation to, I saw it as an evening's entertainment rather than value for money. Anything I could have bought was maybe a third of the price on various websites!

I don't think I'd mind it so much if it weren't for the constant recruiting attempts. More money, promotions and commission for the agents if they recruit more sales people? That doesn't sound right to me, as surely it reduces the number of parties you'd be able to get booked yourself, while the company makes the same amount of money anyway.

BridC

Thing is, he/she could potentially be much more hurt if the enterprise isn't successful and then s/he realises that you could have warned him/her, or given around advice.

If this person is a good friend or a close family member, then in a sense it's your duty to speak out in some way.

elizabethhull

I didn't know 'party' selling was still around.

My friends and I used to host Usborne books, Pippa Dee, Dee Minor, Avon etc in the 80's, and had a lot of fun. We always treated it like a social gathering with no pressure to buy, and as none of the agents were doing it as a main source of income, if the takings weren't exactly stratospheric, they weren't bothered. The goods were nice enough to sell themselves, anyway.

But we were all young stay-at-home Mums at the time, so the parties took place during the day.

This sounds a good deal more pressured, and I agree with others - just say, sorry, you don't want to be involved but wish her all the best with her enterprise (then keep your fingers crossed for her !).

happyinflorida

I had a very close friend once who did something similar.

What I did when they asked if they could come for a social evening round our place but include the sales speel was to say, you're very welcome to but I don't think we'll be interested - is that acceptable to you?

It worked well. We found the sales speel typical and boring and could see through it for what it was - we politely said we thought he'd presented it all extremely well but as we'd already said it just wasn't for us.

He did give it a good go trying to make us buy into it but did not succeed!!

I am not easily pursuaded - did a time share once and came out with out it!

miss-tified

Dear Skintski
I'm in sales too and I know how difficult it can be trying to “sell” an idea or a concept to someone who is close to you.
It seems you feel coerced by the family member trying to “sell” you this “chat” and you have no interest in “buying”.
Now you’re trying to "sell" two of your own things to this family member, both of which are negatives, i.e. “I don’t want any part of it” and “I don’t want to seem unsupportive”.

That’s a pretty tough call for any sales person. It’s also a very interesting challenge. How to turn the situation into a win-win?

As a salesperson you already know that you need to re-frame this situation. You know about effective communication and you know that people need to establish and be aware of theirs and others' boundaries and limits.

You also recognise that it’s you who must lead and manage this communication with your family member, with respect for the differences in perception between both parties.

Let’s look at your boundaries and limits, both stated and implied, and see what might work best in your communication with this family member.

You've “had a family member sign up”
I'm wondering why this is something you've had rather than something they've done?

You “don’t agree” with these MLM companies.
You don’t have to agree; no-one’s asking that from you and not knowing anyone who has ever made any money from MLM is no indication of a monopoly on wisdom regarding the relative success of MLM ;-)

You are resistant to being “required” for a chat.
Being “required” suggests you feel a sense of obligation to comply and a belief that you have no right to refuse or to explain your own requirements and wishes. Everyone has the right to state their wishes, limits, and requirements without fear of reprisal or judgement. It’s important that you respect the rights of others in this respect – it’s equally important that you have that respect for yourself.

I think you have already answered your own questions. Look again and try it from a different vantage point.

You are not required for a chat, it’s just a request from your family member, you have the right to refuse and you have the right to explain your reasons. And your reasons include these:

You want to be supportive and your negative perception of MLM organisations prevents you from being supportive.

You have no wish to have these perceptions challenged by someone you care about because the likely outcome will be upsetting to both.

You wish to avoid this upset, for both parties.

You trust them to have checked the opportunity out in the same way that anyone would check out a new venture and you respect their right to make their own choices and decisions about their work and they way they earn their living.

You also ask that they respect your choices and decisions to remain uninvolved at this point in time.

And then you say that you now want to close this conversation with a smile and with a pleasant (yet firm) and humorous reminder that you have no wish to be converted to the church of MLM and that if you should find yourself with a yearning to have a discussion about that particular faith then you'll ask them.

You ask them to please understand that you are in no way challenging what they are choosing to do and that you respect their right to do so.

You also ask again that they respect your right to make your own decisions and communicate your boundaries.

And finally, you genuinely wish them every success.

And there it ends unless you choose to allow it otherwise.

If the family member chooses to be upset then they have that right. Respect their right and their choice. You get on with your own choices and your respect for yourself.

I hope some of this might be helpful.
Good Luck!

Sox77

You could try something like "I'll be happy to come to your pitch if you want to practise on me, the products you're selling aren't things I buy/can budget for and I wouldn't want to do sales myself, but I'm happy to give feedback on your pitch if you think it will help?"


Would that work?

bargainbetty

I had a boss who got involved in the Amway pyramid selling. The products he had brought into the office weren't brilliant, and were quickly replaced by regular brands.

I politely refused to attend one of his chats, and kept it all light and friendly. Then he asked if he could talk to my parents/brother about it, and at that point I advised him far less politely to keep his over-priced tat to himself.

Say no, say why and say it's your final decision.

Yorkie1

RuthnJasper wrote: »

If you cut a mature leaf and split/squeeze it, great blobs of the clear Aloe Vera are produced - it's fantastic straight from the plant to the skin or hair, and not just for humans either.

I have to ask - how do you use AV on hair?!

tgroom57

My daughter nearly signed up for a mlm scheme recently- she got invited to "the interview day" which turned out to be a pressured recruitment drive. I researched the company online in the few days before she attended, and found enough to warn her what to look out for.

But we also discussed why she wanted this, and luckily she took my suggestion of asking for extra hours where she works. My 'broken record' was this upbeat alternative suggestion. Very possible to be supportive of what they want to achieve (employment) without endorsing a particular endeavour.

tomstickland

MLM schemes are only one step from outright pyramid schemes. If they were any good then the operators would keep quiet about it and reap the rewards. They rely on a steady stream of new people in at the bottom to feed the system.

Read all about whatver outfit this is via google. It will probably be a regular MLM rip off and there's 95% change than within 6-12 months your relative will be out of pocket and have learnt the lesson.

Watch this video for example. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNnRhkLMuJw