levi: la vida loca

MeandO

Hey you x
Just a quickie for now - but LL will be fine when away and he will be eager to return to tell you ALL about it! Yes, he'll miss you, but you obviously know his family will be taking care of him and, like O, he will be too distracted by all the activities and attention to be thikning about you much - sorry!
Maybe plan the time he's away to start building yourself back up a bit and focus on you whilst you don't have to worry about a little person.
xx

edwink

MeandO wrote: »

Maybe plan the time he's away to start building yourself back up a bit and focus on you whilst you don't have to worry about a little person. xx

Good point MeandO!!


I am sure LL will have a real fun time!! Please try to stop worrying about him going Levi or you will wear yourself out!! You are already worn out enough at the moment!! Be kind to yourself and think of you for once!!


Take care


Edwink x

hummingbird

I'm wel jel of LL :rotfl:

That notebook which I thought was Waikiki beach on the cover....it turns out is Miami beach..... (it says so on the Paperchase sticker LOL) I just want to BE THERE!!!!!!!!!

Will you be taking him or is he going with another family member? Totally understand how you're feeling about it, but he will have an amazing time & he loves you to pieces!!!!!!! xxxxx

Levi-

hummingbird wrote: »

I'm wel jel of LL :rotfl:

That notebook which I thought was Waikiki beach on the cover....it turns out is Miami beach..... (it says so on the Paperchase sticker LOL) I just want to BE THERE!!!!!!!!!

Will you be taking him or is he going with another family member? Totally understand how you're feeling about it, but he will have an amazing time & he loves you to pieces!!!!!!! xxxxx

Just putting him in an overhead compartment. Thought that should be OK.

System

Levi- wrote: »

Just putting him in an overhead compartment. Thought that should be OK.

Deffo ok, just pack lots of sweets. You'll save so much money too, very MSE of you :rotfl:

Levi-

Sweets too, Becs? Spoiling him. :rotfl:

Before anyone calls social services, his grammy and aunty C are coming from the US a few days beforehand to travel back with him. I'm trying to start the build up slowly with him but will start properly in the 2nd week of June and try to get him as excited and positive about the trip as possible and not have fears or nerves (or detect that I do!)

We are going to Legoland in early June thanks to some free tickets received from a very savvy MSE-er () and can't wait :j So that is something else really awesome on the horizon. :j Makes him feel a bit more like a normal kid and not a deprived little urchin

So today was half pants, half super.
Rang my mum in the morning just before taking Oz for a walk. My mum tore me a new one on the phone, really blasted me out, said I was an inconsiderate tw*t.. many other things.. all because I had woken her up and she had been awake all night in chronic pain. Obviously I had no way to know that. It was about 10:30am. Anyway, needless to say I got off the phone rapidly and took Oz out but found myself crying inconsolably around the park whilst running (had sunglasses on + didn't see anyone). I know my reaction is based in my depression as I must have seemed ultra sensitive but my mum also knows I am in this spell and am really easily upset. I hadn't meant to wake her/upset her, of course not, I was phoning in to see how she was feeling actually. :eek:
So that was kinda horrible.
I felt so upset I was nauseous for ages and decided to phone my nice manager. Ended up inviting myself in for a chat. It served me well because it broke the ice, seeing people, being in the building, touching base, whatever. Everyone was pleasant to me and nobody asked any insensitive questions. I also took Ozzy with me so he more than took over the limelight! (That was partly my plan)

Then I had about an hour alone with nice manager and we had a good chat - non-formal but she kept me in the loop with some work matters and touched base with how I am. She doesn't want me to come back before my certificate runs out and was totally understanding of the scenario.
I went right from there to pick up Luca from school and he was to see that I had Ozzy with me! We had to take him in and show Mr McC, his teacher.
Got home and found a lovely piece of post which cheered me up as well. :A

Had our dinner which was tuna pasta. Took Ozzy out again for a walk. LL exhausted from his week/school and didn't want to go to trampoween club tonight. In bed fast asleep by 7:15pm :A

Did my meditation and some homework my CBT therapist gave me. Feeling peaceful. :cool:
Letting go of the thing with my Mum


cos I;m sure she is just stressed, in pain, tired and worried out of her mind.

Friday night.. bag of cookies.. rock and roll :T xx

Levi-

hummingbird wrote: »

I'm wel jel of LL :rotfl:

That notebook which I thought was Waikiki beach on the cover....it turns out is Miami beach..... (it says so on the Paperchase sticker LOL) I just want to BE THERE!!!!!!!!!

I hope you get there one day Birdie!
I only ended up in Miami once by accident. Our plane almost ran out of fuel when circling Orlando in a thunderstorm (couldn't land). Had to go to Miami as an emergency to re-fuel and all I saw of it was the run way :rotfl:


PS: Forgot to mention that the sunflower stalks are getting tall - 3 in total - I will take a few snaps soon...:T

Bobarella

Sorry to hear that with your mum..After her scare she is probably feeling crap & took it out on you. Which is bad, but we hurt the ones near to us. I'm glad your day got better and some really great positives too. Hope you feel a bit better now.

Bob

MeandO

Levi- wrote: »

Sweets too, Becs? Spoiling him. :rotfl:

Before anyone calls social services, his grammy and aunty C are coming from the US a few days beforehand to travel back with him. I'm trying to start the build up slowly with him but will start properly in the 2nd week of June and try to get him as excited and positive about the trip as possible and not have fears or nerves (or detect that I do!)

We are going to Legoland in early June thanks to some free tickets received from a very savvy MSE-er () and can't wait :j So that is something else really awesome on the horizon. :j Makes him feel a bit more like a normal kid and not a deprived little urchin

So today was half pants, half super.
Rang my mum in the morning just before taking Oz for a walk. My mum tore me a new one on the phone, really blasted me out, said I was an inconsiderate tw*t.. many other things.. all because I had woken her up and she had been awake all night in chronic pain. Obviously I had no way to know that. It was about 10:30am. Anyway, needless to say I got off the phone rapidly and took Oz out but found myself crying inconsolably around the park whilst running (had sunglasses on + didn't see anyone). I know my reaction is based in my depression as I must have seemed ultra sensitive but my mum also knows I am in this spell and am really easily upset. I hadn't meant to wake her/upset her, of course not, I was phoning in to see how she was feeling actually. :eek:
So that was kinda horrible.
I felt so upset I was nauseous for ages and decided to phone my nice manager. Ended up inviting myself in for a chat. It served me well because it broke the ice, seeing people, being in the building, touching base, whatever. Everyone was pleasant to me and nobody asked any insensitive questions. I also took Ozzy with me so he more than took over the limelight! (That was partly my plan)

Then I had about an hour alone with nice manager and we had a good chat - non-formal but she kept me in the loop with some work matters and touched base with how I am. She doesn't want me to come back before my certificate runs out and was totally understanding of the scenario.
I went right from there to pick up Luca from school and he was to see that I had Ozzy with me! We had to take him in and show Mr McC, his teacher.
Got home and found a lovely piece of post which cheered me up as well. :A

Had our dinner which was tuna pasta. Took Ozzy out again for a walk. LL exhausted from his week/school and didn't want to go to trampoween club tonight. In bed fast asleep by 7:15pm :A

Did my meditation and some homework my CBT therapist gave me. Feeling peaceful. :cool:
Letting go of the thing with my Mum


cos I;m sure she is just stressed, in pain, tired and worried out of her mind.

Friday night.. bag of cookies.. rock and roll :T xx

I'm so sorry to hear of your bad morning Levi, but I can sympathise. My Mum has chronic pain - every day and night it plagues her, despite the morphine, and usually she is fine, but sometimes she can be unbearable to speak to and she has unknowingly upset me in the past. She can be so short tempered when she is bad, and over-react at the slightest of things and they become huge issues, even though they make absolutely no sense to us who aren't in a pain-induced haze. I too, have been in floods of tears after such an episode, but I try and put myself in her shoes and realise how bad it must leave her feeling and how grumpy I would be with the world if it was me.

I'm sure your Mum meant no harm to you by it and she probably wasn't thinking straight. Maybe you could pop a little card or one of LL's drawings in the post to her, just to say you are thinking of her, you love her and understand she too is down at the moment but everything will be ok. I'm sure it will cheer her up and may make her see that she was overly harsh with you. I'm sure she feels terrible about it already hun.

Much love
x

Levi-

Ah, Me&O sorry to hear your mum experiences so much pain and has these reactions too. These are the kind of things we have to just let go and not internalise because like you say, we aren't in those (painful) shoes and it must be awful and cause a lot of lashing out when you don't even mean it. When I speak to her again I won't mention it or drag it up to make her feel bad, I'll just let it pass and hopefully she won't feel bad.
to you xx