Engagement gift

DigForVictory

What a generous idea - but please be wary of setting precedents? Even £20 at engagement may lead to the presumption of another £20 or more on matrimony at which time your finances may or may not cope.

A card of your blessings & best wishes is all they can reasonably expect - and if a note falls out, then you will shoot up the pantheon of beloved relatives, but it really is still optional and over £20 is potentially laying up trouble. After all, how many other young relatives have you got?

Turtle

We got loads of cards when we got engaged but we didn't get any presents (nor did we expect any).

kpwll

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Generational which way? We didn't live together until after we were married and still didn't get any engagement presents from anyone: family, friends, young or old. Not that we expected any.

I meant no offence with the comment and if any is taken I apologise.

What I meant by generational is that I am in my 60's and it was common, when in my 20's and 30's etc, for couples to receive gifts when friends and family got engaged. We still continue to do it with family and sons/daughters of close friends.
It is up to the person if they want to give a gift or not.

Peter333

kpwll wrote: »

I meant no offence with the comment and if any is taken I apologise.

What I meant by generational is that I am in my 60's and it was common, when in my 20's and 30's etc, for couples to receive gifts when friends and family got engaged. We still continue to do it with family and sons/daughters of close friends.
It is up to the person if they want to give a gift or not.

I don't think you have anything to apologise for; many more people live together before getting married nowadays - and have done for the past 30 or so years. So obviously most people will assume that many people live together and start to build a home before getting married. Indeed, it is rare these days for people to get married first.

Have to say though that I don't think it's the done thing to give engagement presents. I actually know some people who have been engaged 4 or 5 times, before actually marrying someone, so it would be crazy to give a present every time someone got engaged... I would give a card, but never a present.

Mrs_Soup

I think engagement gifts are unusual these days but still nice. I think I got one from my grandmother when I got engaged 11 years ago. I think couples tend to be given the odd bottle of bubbly but a cash gift is always going to be welcome. My much younger cousin got engaged around the same time as me but my grandmother omitted the gift for her as she didn't think it would last (the fiance was in prison) - she was right and my cousin married someone else a few years later.

fluffnutter

It's the Hallmark generation. Do a big dump and there's probably a tailored card and present for it.

OP, get them some posh fizz to celebrate their betrothal. Don't give them money simply for saying 'I intend to marry at some point in the future and chances are it will be her'. But then I'm an old curmudgeon

tealady

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's the Hallmark generation. Do a big dump and there's probably a tailored card and present for it.

Im crying with laughter!!!!!

Gloomendoom

kpwll wrote: »

I meant no offence with the comment and if any is taken I apologise.

You didn't say anything to apologise for. I certainly wasn't offended. I was just curious.

burnsguitarman

We know a few people who have got engaged in the past couple of years, I have bought a token gift, usually a heart shape, or wooden ornament saying Love, just a few pounds. Plenty around at the moment. This along with flowers for the bride to be, or a bottle of wine.
Always seem to go down well. and only costs a few pounds.

Jagraf

I don't mind the engagement and wedding stuff.

It's the pre baby baby showers that annoy me. It's as though having a baby isn't enough of a gift.