£1000 a month debts and about to start Maternity Leave!

Lmh71365

Rising from the ashes -

Ok so we default on the car, I'm on board with that suggestion and saving that money. We don't want the car. But how does it work with a guarantor?

She works 3 hours per day, and the hour commute. She doesn't work AS far away as us but it's still not justifiable for her to keep the job but she loves it and won't listen, she is very ignorant to her financial situation which is why I ignore it and just try to focus on my own but without adding too many problems to her.
The fuel bill may come down as fuel is a good 20p a litre cheaper than then, but from personal experience, in the same car, I would drive to work and back, nothing else (as I would food shop and gym near my work) and my fuel bill was £500 or sometimes more per month. I get about 60mpg out of the car too. My fuel comes out of my wages, so unless someone is fiddling my fuel account, that's the cost, from experience.

In terms of my mum babysitting, it's worth pointing out that she works 20 miles in the OTHER direction to our city. So to drive from work to us is a 50 mile trip. Time wise it's only approx 10 mins more because there is dual carriageway out of the way, so she would do it, but it has some cost implications for her.

matttye

Lmh71365 wrote: »

Rising from the ashes -

Ok so we default on the car, I'm on board with that suggestion and saving that money. We don't want the car. But how does it work with a guarantor?

She works 3 hours per day, and the hour commute. She doesn't work AS far away as us but it's still not justifiable for her to keep the job but she loves it and won't listen, she is very ignorant to her financial situation which is why I ignore it and just try to focus on my own but without adding too many problems to her.
The fuel bill may come down as fuel is a good 20p a litre cheaper than then, but from personal experience, in the same car, I would drive to work and back, nothing else (as I would food shop and gym near my work) and my fuel bill was £500 or sometimes more per month. I get about 60mpg out of the car too. My fuel comes out of my wages, so unless someone is fiddling my fuel account, that's the cost, from experience.

In terms of my mum babysitting, it's worth pointing out that she works 20 miles in the OTHER direction to our city. So to drive from work to us is a 50 mile trip. Time wise it's only approx 10 mins more because there is dual carriageway out of the way, so she would do it, but it has some cost implications for her.

It likely means they'll pursue her for the money, and yes that can include court action and eventually bailiffs, but you're a long way off that at the moment. Unfortunately that's the risk a guarantor takes.

rising_from_the_ashes

Lmh71365 wrote: »

my fuel bill was £500 or sometimes more per month. I get about 60mpg out of the car too. My fuel comes out of my wages, so unless someone is fiddling my fuel account, that's the cost, from experience.

Sorry but that doesn't stack up.....

Mine only does just over 30mpg on the unclassified roads (I can get it to nearly 40mpg on a long motorway style journey) - and to do a 60 mile round trip, even with the fuel price at say £1.30/litre would only cost about £10.50 - max £11 which, even 5 days / week is less than £250 / month

I think you need to sit down with your mum (either with or without your partners) and have a frank / honest chat - I'm afraid it does seem she's a bit of a 'bury head in the sand' type person (I'm one too! ) BUT honestly, things don't go away, at some point you really do need to deal with them

Her job and the commute / costs don't stack up - either she needs to work say 2 long days to reduce costs or find something closer...

I realise that defaulting on the car will totally screw both your credit ratings BUT the fact is, something is going to have to give as, it's a huge shortfall we're talking about

You'd need to dig out the finance agreement and read through to get the full details of what will happen

I have no idea how your mum was able to guarantee a loan of that much on such a low income - maybe you can have some comeback on the lender through this the payments are equal to her monthly pay (even before any living costs have been deducted) so it should NEVER have been approved as there is no way she could pay it if you default

The car is costing £750+ / month - yes, you've still got a shortfall but that's achievable with a few cuts (eg your gym) and a bit of extra cash if your OH can work a few more hours / get a better job .... £1k is not realistic to find

I really do feel for you as it's a horrid situation to be in BUT and this is the important thing - your daughter will be here soon - you deserve to enjoy the time with her when she's little (as you can't get that back) not to be worrying about how to pay for a bloomin' car each month!

MrWillyWonka

Something that may have not been mentioned, if you could convince your mum she has money issues, would it be possible for both of you to enter a DMP? That could get around the car guarantor problem.

However, if you did default on the car payments would that affect your job in any way?

bambos

jaydeeuk1 wrote: »

OK, everyone's thinking it but I'm going to say it.
Why didn't you wait till you could afford to have kids? I've known houses be on the market for years before selling. I was in a larger amount of debt than you and wife and I would have loved to have kids at a younger age but didn't want them born in to poverty or have the tax payer pay for us. Children aren't a right, if we couldn't afford it we wouldn't have had them.

No one is thinking that!! Not everyone has the luxuary of planning life and it all falling into place perfectly. Life is what it is and it's not about weathering the storm it's about learning to dance in the rain!

downhillfast

Lmh71365 wrote: »

My mum is in no position to pay even part of my debts, unfortunately, she is struggling to cover her own outgoings and her credit card debts are spiralling herself - I used to be able to help support her financially too.

I can't get my head around how you as a reasonably well earning person has amassed so much debt in your mum's name when you also mention having supported her financially too??? How on earth did she get such a huge amount of credit on her very low income and you not put it in your own name with your nice high income to support it?

Lmh71365 wrote: »

Her credit rating is very important as she doesn't know what credit she will need in the future.

Reality check - her credit rating will be shot to pieces already on affordability grounds if nothing else!

This thread is a bit suspect in my opinion... even managed to 'hint' at hubbies use of Viagra! :eek:

katsu

If you pay per tablet can he take them less often to stretch the cost out,or can you get them cheaper in bulk or from a reputable online pharmacy?

Maybe he needs to chose between his prescription and gym - preferably giving up both! Just while baby is new and before the house sells.

Lmh71365

My mum used to receive a widows pension, which was a lovely sum of money. We've always been a fairly well off family. However, we have also been a "want it now, pay later" family and until now, I honestly didn't see or didn't care about the implications of this. I had a lovely income but I spent more than my means, like I said previously, I used my wages up on credit - huge car loans, ridiculous insurance costs, a luxury flat, holidays at every opportunity, I ate expensive food and preferred to eat out. It's nice to look at my income on paper and think - HOW did I burn through that? My mum, I have no idea how she's accrued so much debt and have only recently found out the extent of it. Like me she's lived above her means and she's also supported my part-time working 18 year old sister and my brother who is at university.
As soon as I got pregnant, my wages took a nose dive as I've suffered with sickness, exhaustion, constant anaemia.. It's just been awful financially. That's when I realised the extent of my spending, cut up the credit cards and started to face the reality of the situation I am in.

My problems now are self-inflicted through recklessness and I think my mums are too, to be fair. She only works for fun and lives off credit cards. She uses credit cards to PAY her credit cards. But that's her business and she won't let me interfere.

I'm truly amazed at how judgemental some of the people of this board have been - I thought this was a help site? Not a site to judge people. Do you judge gambling addicts too? What about somebody earning millions with a big fat mortgage and expensive cars who loses their job? I didn't live within my means but I could afford my finances and overpayments on the credit cards until this happened.

I'm leaving this thread now because I don't know what else can be suggested that hasn't already been said. There have been some really fantastic people on here and some really helpful responses - like I said, we are going to have to re-evaluate options we had rulesd out which now make so much more sense to me than they did! I didn't know we were entitled to child benefit/tax credits so that's bonus income! We need to do some more calculations and my mum needs to understand the risks she's in - I need her on board to come to a solution! So thank you everyone who has been helpful

Pepperoni

Given childcare arrangements / costs then this situation is worse than first thought, unfortunately. You aren't just going to need a solution to get you through maternity leave - you're going to need one full stop. Some drastic action needs to be taken - your Husbands gym membership is not priority.

MrWillyWonka

I don't think you have had a LBM. Although you have made steps to reduce outgoing it doesn't seem to be enough and something is going to give way. You do not want this happening when you have a newborn. Sacrifices HAVE to be made.

If the worst comes to the worst, forgoe the car payments and pay a token amount. However if this affects your job in any way then you may have an even bigger problem.

Good luck with everything.