£1000 a month debts and about to start Maternity Leave!

tlc678910

Hello,
Living with your mum sounds such a good solution that it must be worth at least exploring further.

Would your mum consider letting you live with her and being your childcare? You could return to work and in return you could pay rent (although not as much as your current commercial rent), split bills and pay her for her childcare (replacing her lost wages if she stops working) - but again not as much as commercial childcare for you. You could ask her and give her some time to consider your proposal as it is a complete change of direction. Would this allow you and your mum to keep both your heads above water and perhaps put the sale on ice to see how the situation works?

If you have a good relationship with your mum, and you and your partner need to work there is no-one better to leave your baby with. I lived with my mum for a while when my son was small and leaving him snuggled asleep while I left for work was priceless.

Your landlord may be understanding if you speak about your situation (especially faced with having tenants staying that cannot afford their rent). They may at least offer to release you when you find them suitable replacement tenants. Even if you cannot be released from the agreement at least your liability to this rent will be 4-5 months more to the end of the contract and not ongoing.

You could send details of your landlord, rental agreement, rent payments/ council tax payments and correspondence to end your tenancy (if you decide to) to support your mums council tax case. (Send copies and keep the originals safe). Let them know if you move in of course. I cannot see how they can peruse a case for you living at hers illegally if you are paying rent and council tax elsewhere?

Keeping your family home in the longer term is a radical solution, which may or may not be acceptable to your mum, but it could be worth considering because if your house sells you might still have a monthly shortfall in the future (either with only one of you working or both working and paying for childcare ) in which case you could pay off your debts, meet your shortfall each month from the house sale money and then a few years down the line, especially if you want more children, be back in the same position with a monthly shortfall.

For your mum there could be advantages as well. You suggest if you sell she should have enough to pay off debts and buy a small house. Her income would be small. With no savings it would be difficult to maintain her new house/repairs etc. she may also end up back in debt but this time without the option to downsize. Perhaps just worth having the discussions? As you both feel you share the ownership of the house going forward you could both decorate and maintain as equals rather than in a child living with parent scenario.

Good luck whatever you (and your mum) decide to do.

Lmh71365

The dog doesn't travel well (vomits every time) and since she drives a Mercedes, she won't take it in her car. I've rolled my eyes at that too.

Yes the car is a killer, but those of you thinking I can just walk away from it.. Car finance doesn't work like that. There is nothing I can do at all, I was absolutely neck-deep in the last one and it's a miracle the right deal came up to allow me to refinance, disguising my negative equity. I cannot sell the car without settling the finance and I don't have £20,000 floating around to settle it. I certainly didn't have £37000 to settle my sports car finance and sell it. I would love to have a £500 banger and no car finance, oh believe me I would. I wouldn't even need a banger - I can have a company car if I return to work!

The NHS will not pay for it unless you are MEDICALLY excempt from paying for prescriptions, eg, you have cancer. His life does not depend on it but it is vital to his psychological well-being.

Baby is due 11th March. We don't qualify for the new rules.

I will cancel my membership then. My husband won't. It's his passion, I'm not taking that away from him.

I think most of the suggestions or solutions have been covered here. I have tried to keep my mum out of it but I think she needs to realise she's in this as much as me and needs to take some debt solution actions with me. Or agree to reduce the house and sell it at auction! I definitely think going back to work is a good idea - even if the earliest is still 2 months of £600 a month (as private nanny is so expensive). Every little bit will help, definitely! And if my mum sells the house at a later date, I can look at a part-time job. Fumbling through is the best option and I think it's possible... IF I can get my mum on board to speak to the lenders and reduce payments in the meanwhile.

Thank you everyone for all your suggestions!!

On_my_way

You have done very well taking on suggestions. I know what you mean about your husband's membership but he is your husband and it is his absolute duty to look after you and the baby. I know that he doesn't earn as much as you but my God he needs to try very hard to get a job and pay the bills so that you can at least spend some time with your baby.

Sorry if that sounds harsh and I obviously don't know you or your family but is he really onbaord with what is happening and what will happen if your mum or you ruin your credit ratings etc?

Again, well done you for taking things on board. I wish there was a simple solution. You have got to make your mum understand.

matttye

Lmh71365 wrote: »

The dog doesn't travel well (vomits every time) and since she drives a Mercedes, she won't take it in her car. I've rolled my eyes at that too.

Yes the car is a killer, but those of you thinking I can just walk away from it.. Car finance doesn't work like that. There is nothing I can do at all, I was absolutely neck-deep in the last one and it's a miracle the right deal came up to allow me to refinance, disguising my negative equity. I cannot sell the car without settling the finance and I don't have £20,000 floating around to settle it. I certainly didn't have £37000 to settle my sports car finance and sell it. I would love to have a £500 banger and no car finance, oh believe me I would. I wouldn't even need a banger - I can have a company car if I return to work!

The NHS will not pay for it unless you are MEDICALLY excempt from paying for prescriptions, eg, you have cancer. His life does not depend on it but it is vital to his psychological well-being.

Baby is due 11th March. We don't qualify for the new rules.

I will cancel my membership then. My husband won't. It's his passion, I'm not taking that away from him.

I think most of the suggestions or solutions have been covered here. I have tried to keep my mum out of it but I think she needs to realise she's in this as much as me and needs to take some debt solution actions with me. Or agree to reduce the house and sell it at auction! I definitely think going back to work is a good idea - even if the earliest is still 2 months of £600 a month (as private nanny is so expensive). Every little bit will help, definitely! And if my mum sells the house at a later date, I can look at a part-time job. Fumbling through is the best option and I think it's possible... IF I can get my mum on board to speak to the lenders and reduce payments in the meanwhile.

Thank you everyone for all your suggestions!!

The fact is you're going to have to default on some of your financial obligations unless you can figure out a way of bringing in a lot more money.

It would make the most sense to default on the car finance because that would result in the biggest saving.

So whilst you can't walk away from the finance, what you can do is default on it and wait for the finance company to seize it.

You've got substantially more going out than you've got coming in. You can't pay everything. Keeping a £500 a month car in your position is absurd.

Lmh71365

We have just calculated the potential savings of moving in with my mum. paying her wages + bills, not even any rent, would be more than our current rent and bills it costs about £500 a month to commute the 30+ miles on B roads per month. I used to have the exact car I have now as a company car, and that is the cost. Her fuel bill is extortionate. She lives in the middle of nowhere, bless her. She earns £500 a month and wouldn't give up her job anyway. It could work though if we still used childcare in the city we work in and she still went about her own thing. If she could be persuaded to agree, it's certainly an option worth exploring!

On_my_way

Fuel is very expensive. Is her car on finance too?

spot3

Could your mum sell her car and take on yours with a contribution from you? Ebay everything you can, If you have to go without a TV for a couple of months you'll be able to buy a new one when you're back at work but selling bits might buy you a month or so.

What a situation to be in but I hope you're still excited about your growing family.

Lmh71365

How would defaulting on the car finance work? They would attempt to take it directly from my mum's account and if they seize it, aren't we still liable for the shortfall when they sell it, in other words, the £10,000 neg eq I owe? And I'm of the impression they can seize my mum's assets to cover this? I would give anything to be out of this finance, however drastic the method. We have GAP insurance and I've even tried to work out ways to write the damn thing off. I've never been so tempted to drive into a river! But with the agreement so new, the circumstances regarding the write off have to be completely inconspicuous or they ain't gonna pay out and then I'll be paying for a car that doesn't exist!

rising_from_the_ashes

Lmh71365 wrote: »

Yes the car is a killer, but those of you thinking I can just walk away from it.. Car finance doesn't work like that. There is nothing I can do at all, I was absolutely neck-deep in the last one and it's a miracle the right deal came up to allow me to refinance, disguising my negative equity. I cannot sell the car without settling the finance and I don't have £20,000 floating around to settle it. I certainly didn't have £37000 to settle my sports car finance and sell it.

I don't think anyone has suggested you can just walk away from it but ...

matttye wrote: »

The fact is you're going to have to default on some of your financial obligations unless you can figure out a way of bringing in a lot more money.

It would make the most sense to default on the car finance because that would result in the biggest saving.

So whilst you can't walk away from the finance, what you can do is default on it and wait for the finance company to seize it.

You've got substantially more going out than you've got coming in. You can't pay everything. Keeping a £500 a month car in your position is absurd.

The above is absolutely spot on .....

Lmh71365 wrote: »

I can have a company car if I return to work!

If that's the case then keeping the car makes absolutely no financial sense at all (sorry)

Lmh71365 wrote: »

it costs about £500 a month to commute the 30+ miles on B roads per month. I used to have the exact car I have now as a company car, and that is the cost. Her fuel bill is extortionate. She lives in the middle of nowhere, bless her. She earns £500 a month and wouldn't give up her job anyway.

I live pretty much in the middle of nowhere ..... many of the roads I use aren't even b roads and are unclassified single tracks with passing places

If she earns £500 / month, she can't work full time

How many days / week would she need to commute the 60 miles?

Even in my car (which isn't the most fuel efficient due to its type), on those roads, it would cost less than £10 / commute (at today's fuel price)

If hers guzzles fuel at a rate more than that then I'm afraid that she really needs to think about switching to something more efficient as it doesn't tie up with what she earns

Lmh71365

Her car has some finance but much less than the car is worth as she paid for most of it outright. She won't sell it because she doesn't think the situation is that bad (again, "something always works out at the last minute") and she loves it to the moon and back. It is also part-owned by HER partner and he doesn't know that she's part-responsible for the payment of my debts.
The house though, she will sell. If only she would sell it for less to get it GONE!!

Spot3 - thank you for that sweet comment, helps remind me that all this nightmare is for a worthy cause. Still so excited to meet our little girl ��