Newbie and a spendaholic overeating carer!

Overeating-spendaholic

loveka wrote: »

Hello. I hope you won't think this harsh, but you are on a DMP and were still spending £300 a month on going out. A DMP is meant to get you out of debt, not facilitate you to continue to spend.

I think you really need to find out WHY you continued to overspend whilst already being in debt crisis. If you don't do that you may not solve the issue long term. How about visiting your GP and asking about counselling? It could really help you to find out why you do it, which is really the only way you can stop doing this forever. Practical steps are great,but you do need to find the emotional triggers.

Thanks for your message, the one thing is about posting on forums is that your are open to all sorts of comments and opinions so let me explain as I didn't explain myself properly in my first post/soa...

The DMP was a result of changing working hours from full time to part time due to childcare and not being able to afford the debts. My partner and I have always had seperate finances with no financial connection and he took on the main earner role subsidising our entertainment! His debts are purely from over spending but can be dealt with due to his high level of earning. Mine however due to my low level of earning I don't have anything spare at the end. So after long talks and realisation that enough is enough we have decided we are going to change and deal with everything.

Thank you for your concern about my mental health, but I don't think its neccessary to waste Drs times with it, Ibe not got any reason why I over spend other than just pure neglect of dealing with the finances and being to wrapped up in convienience and a social life. There is no depression, bi polar, ocd or any other mental health problem associated with the over spending, it's just a pure want for the finer details in life but not taking the consequences seriously.... Which is why I am on here.

Thank you though!

Overeating-spendaholic

So back to my new change in progress - this week I have learnt a lot of things, I can have a NSD, I don't have to go out to these expensive places, I don't need to go to the generic supermarkets and I can opt for the smaller ones! I have learnt I can do a budget plan (which I am still tweeking), I can do a meal plan and I certainly don't need to consume huge amounts of snacks all day everyday pushing the food bill up!

I have already - found 2 old accounts which will be used to put money into for Christmas, birthdays, car... I have joined 2 cashback sites, I have been to see the local sure start centre and joined (free of course) wow I even joined the local library! It's working progress

Focusing my energy on the positive outlook is pushing me to go forward with the future, I only ever worried about what the mums were up to and then mad rush when got home to get jobs done which actually just leave me feeling very chaotic. Even though I am still yet to work a routine and plan out of the everyday things, I am believing in myself and the new sense of feeling I can sort the finances out really is liberating and giving me a new found feeling of belonging not just existing!!

Payday is fast approaching and this is when I can implement the changes and start a month off the right way. And not hopefully but I will succeed!!

There are a few direct debits I can cancel too, not for much but every little will help and they are payments which don't give us anything! Probably only be around a saving of £25 a month but it's money which I haven't accounted for in my budget on here but after looking at a statement I found that actually they r being taken every month.

joedenise

Your latest post is sounding very positive. It's amazing what a difference it makes to your life once you realise you don't have to spend money to be happy and you don't need things/stuff either.

If you do actually NEED not want anything, try Freecycle, charity shops etc. They are also the places to get rid of stuff you don't need any more. (I don't use E*ay etc as I think you can end up spending unintentionally if you do - but that might just be me!)

Denise

Overeating-spendaholic

joedenise wrote: »

Your latest post is sounding very positive. It's amazing what a difference it makes to your life once you realise you don't have to spend money to be happy and you don't need things/stuff either.

If you do actually NEED not want anything, try Freecycle, charity shops etc. They are also the places to get rid of stuff you don't need any more. (I don't use E*ay etc as I think you can end up spending unintentionally if you do - but that might just be me!)

Denise

Thank you, glad you can hear the positivity in my voice! It's crazy how when you change your mindset you feel liberated and able to deal with things! Long road ahead but it's a road I'm on! Free cycle? I want to avoid spending at all costs! And if we are off out for the day to take advantage of the free locations on offer!

Overeating-spendaholic

Meal plan (no particular order - just choose a few days at a time and over a 2 week period - tick off as we eat)

Dinners

- spaghetti bolognese
- bolognese with jacket potato
- omelette, chips and salad
- chicken breast, pasta and salad
- chicken, rice and veg
- home made burgers with jacket and salad
- salmon salad with petit pan
- beef, crunchy veg and salad potatoes
- beans on toast
- sausage, chips and salad
- chicken tikka, salad and pitta
- salmon, veg and rice
- chicken wrapped in bacon with mixed veg and petit pan
- gammon, egg and chips with mushrooms and tomatoes

Lunches are on a 7 day period and alternate the same as the dinners

Lunches

- tuna couscous salad
- egg and salad wrap
- egg mayo sandwich
- tuna sweetcorn pasta salad
- roasted veg wrap
- cheese and salad wrap
- hummus with crunchy veg

Breakfast will be cereal, and/or toast and some fruit (tinned unless on offer)

Snacks will be yogurts, fruit, homemade cakes or biscuits (yes I am going to try as will combine into a something to keep little one entertained!)

Up the water from the tap - I pay good money for this!, tea coffee and hot chocolates at home and take a drink with me at all times!

The budget I am going to start with is £300 a month! I will aim to get it lower but for now that is what I will work with!