Newbie and a spendaholic overeating carer!

Overeating-spendaholic

Hi everyone newbie here!!!

Well I have been lurking for last couple of days and decided to take the plunge and open an account, I am highly in debt because I am a spendaholic overeating part time carer with a child and just found out another one is on their way! I basically have had enough, I waste money, we waste money as a family and well I believe it's time to grow up and get a grip!

When I'm not working I'm socialising out and about as a mummy and that is taking a huge chunk of money! I am far to generous and don't think twice of buying a round of coffees but very rarely does it appear that it's returned! Just today I was out with another mummy and bought her lunch.... It was the card came out and oh don't worry I'll get this..... What is wrong with me!

Another floor of mine is shopping! Pay for parking going to town, then whilst in town visit the overly priced coffee shops and then buy clothes shoes books anything really that takes my fancy then into the over crowded house that it already is with the ridiculous amounts of stuff which lets be honest it's just stuff and do I need it? I did start to sell on eBay which was a huge deal as well I am totally rubbish when it comes to the Internet computers and any type of technology but that ended in tears when a case was opened because a parcel went missing and even though I refunded ebay restricted my account... Very upset as I had got quiet into it. A dude at work said it happened to him too. Oh I don't know.

My partner is just as much of a spender as me, probably spends more on his pampering of the appearance than me but he feels as he works full time he deserves to treat himself! Who am I to argue I'm an overeating spendaholic! He on the other hand is rather clever when online and does a lot of shopping in the high street shops online, the delivery and post men are on first name basis!

Well I want to change for the future and be less over weight and less of a spender and more of a saver!

And were in debt! Combined total around £27000! Please be gentle and ease me in! I'm hoping to be debt free and rather savvy!!! And not so generous!!!

Skinnylatte

No you don't!

Welcome to an amazing place, this will be the start of a rewarding journey for you, well done on the first step :hello:

Overeating-spendaholic

Skinnylatte wrote: »

No you don't!

Welcome to an amazing place, this will be the start of a rewarding journey for you, well done on the first step :hello:

Wow such a quick response thank you, it's been hard but as I'm here thinking about popping out to the garage to get some treats I thought no take the first step and get on this site and try to get some tips! So lovely to meet you x

ferox666

Overeating-spendaholic wrote: »

Wow such a quick response thank you, it's been hard but as I'm here thinking about popping out to the garage to get some treats I thought no take the first step and get on this site and try to get some tips! So lovely to meet you x

Welcome...you could start by posting a statement of affairs - list all your monthly incomings (salaries, any benefits, etc) and all outgoings (from mortgage to food to electricity to clothes) and list your debts and interest rates, the experts can then give some tips. What was the large debt spent on? Eg car, home improvements, general spending?

Newyorkdreams

Hi :wave: - welcome to the forum!


NYD xx

captainawsome

This will become a way of life in a few months, you will even start to enjoy saving money! Don't believe me? Watch this space. Good luck and well done for wanting to change.

VeronicaMars

Overeating-spendaholic wrote: »

When I'm not working I'm socialising out and about as a mummy and that is taking a huge chunk of money! I am far to generous and don't think twice of buying a round of coffees but very rarely does it appear that it's returned! Just today I was out with another mummy and bought her lunch.... It was the card came out and oh don't worry I'll get this..... What is wrong with me!

Another floor of mine is shopping! Pay for parking going to town, then whilst in town visit the overly priced coffee shops and then buy clothes shoes books anything really that takes my fancy then into the over crowded house that it already is with the ridiculous amounts of stuff which lets be honest it's just stuff and do I need it?

And were in debt! Combined total around £27000! Please be gentle and ease me in! I'm hoping to be debt free and rather savvy!!! And not so generous!!!

It was like I was reading my own diary...

You NEED to nip the generous thing on the head. My other firend was super generous and we talked and had a look around and I was up to my eyeballs in debt whilst all my mates owned lovely big houses and BMWs (I KID YOU NOT) and bragged how they never put anything on credit cards whilst I was buying them lunch! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME!!! Family members who borrowed money and it turned out it was because they didn't want to take their money out of their ISA and lose interest...you would like to think I am joking but I am not.

I also frittered so much money away on coffees and lunches and drinks. AMAZING how much money I saved when I stopped buying coffees and lunches. AMAZING.

I, personally, found that telling people I was in debt and trying to clear it basically gave me my "out" for ever buying them stuff and ...well..being cheap basically!!! Because clearly I just couldn't just say no or just buy my own like normal people! I let them all know that I was focusing on clearing my debt and as I was getting married that we were struggling! How could people say I was cheap when I had a lot of debt and was saving for a wedding?

I never really sold online I just focused on making lunches and taking coffees EVERYWHERE etc and used my decluttering as my donations to charity. They got some good stuff!

Goodluck!

rockm87

try reading the blog mr money mustache, from the beginning!

Try changing yours and your friends perception of money, rather than feeling like you're swapping being generous for cheap, you've changed your outlook, and you want to encourage others to your way of thinking about money.

Its a great blog, and very inspiring.

Just2Ashamed

Welcome! Look forward to seeing you tackle your debts I agree that a SOA is a good place to start.

FireWyrm

captainawsome wrote: »

This will become a way of life in a few months, you will even start to enjoy saving money! Don't believe me? Watch this space. Good luck and well done for wanting to change.

Back, long ago (year before last) I was getting paid at the beginning of the month and on the 3rd of the month, I was back deep into overdraft, if not busting it. I naturally thought that this was quite normal and that I simply didnt get paid enough to live and that there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix it. I had been on here for a while, but not really taken command of my finances. Last year, I decided that enough was enough, it was absurd to be in overdraft on my pay at the beginning of every month without fail and there had to be a better way to live.

I downloaded YNAB (youneedabudget.com) and started getting to grips with my finances. Basically, you will need to completely overhaul the way that you look at money. Instead of going to your bank and looking at your balance and thinking "Yippeee, I have all this money" you in fact go to YNAB and look at the category balance for whatever you have decided to spend. YNAB works on an envelope system, sometimes called 'zero-budgeting' which means that every penny you have is allocated somewhere. It means that you cannot just go out and spend without thought or you will get into an awful mess (as you have discovered). On the flip side, YNAB is very flexible, so, if on any given day, you decide that this spend is in fact important to you, you can move money from somewhere less important to cover it. If you keep with it and reconcile at least several times a month, it is practically impossible to overspend.

You can of course completely ignore what YNAB is telling you with regard to what money you have available, but that would defeat the object of what you are trying to do. If you decide that eating out and buying food for friends is important to you, then you need to build that into your budget and ensure that nowhere else is shorted as a consequence. Most people start with a list of their fixed monthly outgoings, and you will be doing that anyway if you post an SOA, and then work up from there, or outwards in concentric circles of 'importance' to you.

I've been using YNAB for just over a year now and I've gone from a negative worth of £2500 to a positive balance in all my accounts totaling more than £5K. It doesnt mean I have £5K available because all that money is allocated somewhere but it does mean that there are no nasty overdraft fees (paid OD long ago) and I am swatting the debts at the rate of nearly £850 a month which I found by simply reorganising my finances properly and not spending thoughtlessly. I have saved up for and purchased a tropical fish tank which I have wanted for quite some time and today, there was a suprise vets bill for £150 which I was easily able to cover out of the 'Vets & Animal Food" fund. I dont need to worry about bills being paid - they are, on the first of the month and I dont need to worry about the school trip that just popped out of nowhere, because there is money in a fund for that too. It is really that simple.

CountingPenniesClaire

VeronicaMars wrote: »

I never really sold online I just focused on making lunches and taking coffees EVERYWHERE etc and used my decluttering as my donations to charity. They got some good stuff!

Me too. Amazing what cash is suddenly available when you take control of your spending.

Good Luck OES!!