Newbie and a spendaholic overeating carer!

Overeating-spendaholic

VeronicaMars wrote: »

It was like I was reading my own diary...

You NEED to nip the generous thing on the head. My other firend was super generous and we talked and had a look around and I was up to my eyeballs in debt whilst all my mates owned lovely big houses and BMWs (I KID YOU NOT) and bragged how they never put anything on credit cards whilst I was buying them lunch! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME!!! Family members who borrowed money and it turned out it was because they didn't want to take their money out of their ISA and lose interest...you would like to think I am joking but I am not.

I also frittered so much money away on coffees and lunches and drinks. AMAZING how much money I saved when I stopped buying coffees and lunches. AMAZING.

I, personally, found that telling people I was in debt and trying to clear it basically gave me my "out" for ever buying them stuff and ...well..being cheap basically!!! Because clearly I just couldn't just say no or just buy my own like normal people! I let them all know that I was focusing on clearing my debt and as I was getting married that we were struggling! How could people say I was cheap when I had a lot of debt and was saving for a we

dding?

I never really sold online I just focused on making lunches and taking coffees EVERYWHERE etc and used my decluttering as my donations to charity. They got some good stuff!

Goodluck!

Oh wow thank you, and gives me such a positive feeling that my future can change and that others have been in the same position. It is true all my mummy friends including other friends all have the nice things, done up to the high heavens and very rarely use the 'card'!

To to change! Thank you

Mojisola

Overeating-spendaholic wrote: »

My partner is just as much of a spender as me, probably spends more on his pampering of the appearance than me but he feels as he works full time he deserves to treat himself!

Who am I to argue I'm an overeating spendaholic! He on the other hand is rather clever when online and does a lot of shopping in the high street shops online, the delivery and post men are on first name basis!

Well I want to change for the future and be less over weight and less of a spender and more of a saver!

Think of how you're going to change your spending habits like a 'money diet' - there are similarities to how you have to get used to 'not choosing that but having this' in order to lose weight and the same principles apply.

Whatever you do has to be a long term change otherwise you'll see the weight go back on and the money disappearing again.:)

Overeating-spendaholic

rockm87 wrote: »

try reading the blog mr money mustache, from the beginning!

Try changing yours and your friends perception of money, rather than feeling like you're swapping being generous for cheap, you've changed your outlook, and you want to encourage others to your way of thinking about money.

Its a great blog, and very inspiring.

I will go have a look! Thanks

Overeating-spendaholic

Just2Ashamed wrote: »

Welcome! Look forward to seeing you tackle your debts I agree that a SOA is a good place to start.

Thank you and yes as embarrassing as it will be I will post it!

Overeating-spendaholic

FireWyrm wrote: »

Back, long ago (year before last) I was getting paid at the beginning of the month and on the 3rd of the month, I was back deep into overdraft, if not busting it. I naturally thought that this was quite normal and that I simply didnt get paid enough to live and that there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix it. I had been on here for a while, but not really taken command of my finances. Last year, I decided that enough was enough, it was absurd to be in overdraft on my pay at the beginning of every month without fail and there had to be a better way to live.

I downloaded YNAB (youneedabudget.com) and started getting to grips with my finances. Basically, you will need to completely overhaul the way that you look at money. Instead of going to your bank and looking at your balance and thinking "Yippeee, I have all this money" you in fact go to YNAB and look at the category balance for whatever you have decided to spend. YNAB works on an envelope system, sometimes called 'zero-budgeting' which means that every penny you have is allocated somewhere. It means that you cannot just go out and spend without thought or you will get into an awful mess (as you have discovered). On the flip side, YNAB is very flexible, so, if on any given day, you decide that this spend is in fact important to you, you can move money from somewhere less important to cover it. If you keep with it and reconcile at least several times a month, it is practically impossible to overspend.

You can of course completely ignore what YNAB is telling you with regard to what money you have available, but that would defeat the object of what you are trying to do. If you decide that eating out and buying food for friends is important to you, then you need to build that into your budget and ensure that nowhere else is shorted as a consequence. Most people start with a list of their fixed monthly outgoings, and you will be doing that anyway if you post an SOA, and then work up from there, or outwards in concentric circles of 'importance' to you.

I've been using YNAB for just over a year now and I've gone from a negative worth of £2500 to a positive balance in all my accounts totaling more than £5K. It doesnt mean I have £5K available because all that money is allocated somewhere but it does mean that there are no nasty overdraft fees (paid OD long ago) and I am swatting the debts at the rate of nearly £850 a month which I found by simply reorganising my finances properly and not spending thoughtlessly. I have saved up for and purchased a tropical fish tank which I have wanted for quite some time and today, there was a suprise vets bill for £150 which I was easily able to cover out of the 'Vets & Animal Food" fund. I dont need to worry about bills being paid - they are, on the first of the month and I dont need to worry about the school trip that just popped out of nowhere, because there is money in a fund for that too. It is really that simple.

You have done so well and very inspiring information, I would love to be where you are, it sounds like a solution for my awful spending habits and even worst eating habits! Thank you

Overeating-spendaholic

CountingPenniesClaire wrote: »

Me too. Amazing what cash is suddenly available when you take control of your spending.

Good Luck OES!!

I'm excited!! Thank you

Overeating-spendaholic

ShirePiskie wrote: »

Hi welcome to being a wannabe - a big first step.

You might find doing a full Statement of Affairs on here, but I really think a basic overview of your monthly sending would help you.

Put down your income then all your planned outgoings. You might be surprised how much money you 'should' have left each month and it can be a real motivator to keep track off/ not fritter away that money which disappears on apparently nothing.

That money can go towards paying down your debt. It IS OK to have treats, you just need to plan for it.

Like FireWyrm, I'm a total YNAB convert. I would really recommend watching the tutorial videos (you don't need to buy it) to do this - even if you decide the software is not for you, the mindset to get in to is, in my experience, a financial lifeline.

Very good luck now you've decided to tackle it - Lots of advice and support on here and many many many people who have been/ are in the same boat!

Thank you, and it all sounds so good. I will def have a look into YNAB as sounds like w good start.

Overeating-spendaholic

joedenise wrote: »

Another YNABber here. I seem to have freed up so much money since I bought YNAB software. Took a while to get my head round it and to start with I couldn't find the money in my finances but in the end decided it could come from the money I'd set aside for Household expenses, as thought it would definitely benefit the household.

At the beginning of the month I do my budget and then transfer the annual bills money to a savings account for when they become due. I have even managed to put savings aside, whereas before we never managed to save more than a few pounds a month.

I think it's definitely worth watching the tutorials on line (with the chance of winning a free copy) and then downloading the free trial. It was during the free trial that I managed to start off my savings pots and then release the money to buy the software.

Good luck.

Denise

I need to look into this!!! We're you a monthly direct debit person before the yearly bills? I would love to be able to put money away. Thank you

Overeating-spendaholic

Liliyanna wrote: »

Hi OES,

Welcome aboard

There are some truly wonderful people on the boards who will give the best advice possible to help you out of this situation, all it takes is willpower!!!!

The general first steps to get you up and running are......

Post a Statement of Affairs (SOA), which is a detailed breakdown of your incomings and outgoings. There is a link for this which I'm sure someone more technical will post for you shortly. Fill this in and post it back here and the more knowledgeable amongst us will offer some advice on which areas can be trimmed down.

After that it's a case of making sure all your utilities/insurances etc are on the best deals around and you have sensible budgets for all aspects of your spending, YNAB is worth it's virtual weight in gold

Another good tool is the website 'mysupermarket.co.uk', use this to ensure you are paying the lowest price for all your groceries. You could pop over to the Challenge and Oldstyle Thrift boards, see if anything takes your fancy, maybe try the No Spend Day (NSD) challenge to ease yourself in or mix and match a few to keep you occupied and not thinking of nipping out and spending.

And finally just surf around reading other peoples diaries for good examples of how it can be done. Post a few comments and make some friends

Good luck in your journey and hope to see you around



Lily x x

Thank you so much, and lots for me to think about and start doing. This is great and I am overwhelmed by how many lovely people there are. Thank you

Overeating-spendaholic

gfplux wrote: »

So you recognise all the things you have been doing wrong. Or have you. Do you think they are only slightly wrong?
You can change if you really want to. You can do only so much on your own as you need your partner to join you In this new life.
It takes a lot of strength of character to make the necessary changes.
Start by thinking all the time how much you want to be debt free.
To stop being a spendthrift family who are always broke will take time but when you have succeeded you will feel so FREE AND POWERFUL.
Good luck.

Everything we have been doing is totally wrong and irresponsible especially as we should have everything on what we earn but actually have nothing just a load of clutter large stomachs and red credit account! Thank you