what to do with a bored mother

trailingspouse

My parents are in their 80's. Still active, not badly off, still in full command of their faculties.

BUT - my mother is bored. Dad has lots of varied interests - he enjoys watching any sort of sport on the TV, he birdwatches, he does the garden, he does sudoku puzzles, he plays chess on the computer, he has an opinion on what's going on in the news, he keeps up-to-date with what's going on in the economy, and checks his share prices everyday (he used to be a bank manager).

Mum has no interest in sport. She will go birdwatching with him, but her eyesight isn't up to looking through binoculars any more. She's not 'in' to gardening, can't stand sudoku or chess, or any types of games. To be fair, none of this is new - she's never enjoyed sport, she never played games even when I was little. She's basically quite anti-social and has never had many friends. She doesn't really have a good word to say about anyone.

They used to do a lot of travelling, but all the talk of terrorism worldwide has put them off a bit - besides, they've pretty much seen everywhere that they want to see! She used to enjoy decorating, but their house doesn't need anything doing to it anymore.

They've just spent a couple of days with us, and she spends her whole time talking about how bored she is. Any suggestions as to what she could try are shot down - she doesn't appear to be interested in trying anything new, or at least nothing I've suggested. I've come to the conclusion that what she wants to do most of all is whinge about being bored.

Over time I've suggested
- going swimming (doesn't like public pools, germs, etc)
- joining WI (not interested)
- writing/telling me about her family to help me research the family tree (why would anyone be interested in that?)
- doing a night class (doesn't want to go out in the dark)
- inviting neighbour round for a coffee - the woman next door is about the same age (doesn't want to listen to all her illnesses)

So please, please - could anyone give me more ideas as to what she could do? Or should I just give up and let her whinge?

prosaver

tell her to go on this forum and wind people up...
it works for me


seriously does she go on tin- ter-net?

geerex

She does have a hobby - she likes moaning! Leave her to it, sounds like she's doing just fine.

stormbreaker

If she liked decorating what about crafting of some sort? She could revamp a vase or a lamp with decoupage?

Knitting, crochet? art classes?

My mother is 80, goes to art class once a week,is never off the buses cause she has a bus pass, is never out of M&S where she worked And loves the theatre!

Mind you she can whinge for Scotland! thinks cause she is old can say what she wants and thinks herself a comedian!

itsanne

Does she read (or listen to audio books if her eyesight isn't up to it)?

If she's online, what about a forum? Or painting / drawing? There are loads of lessons on youtube if she doesn't want to go out to classes.

She might also just be one of those who like to have something to moan about!

Mojisola

trailingspouse wrote: »

To be fair, none of this is new - she's never enjoyed sport, she never played games even when I was little. She's basically quite anti-social and has never had many friends. She doesn't really have a good word to say about anyone.

They've just spent a couple of days with us, and she spends her whole time talking about how bored she is. Any suggestions as to what she could try are shot down - she doesn't appear to be interested in trying anything new, or at least nothing I've suggested. I've come to the conclusion that what she wants to do most of all is whinge about being bored.

There's nothing you can do - if she wanted to stop being bored, she would think of something herself. There are loads of daytime meetings/classes/events that she could go to if she wanted to do something.

Perhaps ear plugs for yourselves to reduce the volume of the moaning?:)

PasturesNew

There are groups called U3A http://www.u3a.org.uk/ . It's very hit and miss if there's one in your area - and then it's down to the interests of the individual members as to what goes on, but they do have a lot of stuff in the daytimes. Some have hobby groups, talks, there are pub lunches, learning foreign languages.

Worth looking them up in case [a] there's one near you there's something she might be interested in doing.

As I say though - hit and miss.

good_advice

It is the old saying I'm afraid. You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.
She has to want to do a task, hobby

I know some one similar who sleeps or watches tv. Yes, all day and night.

We can suggest all we want but the need to find something to do has to come from with in.

barbie_babe

What about charity work. If possible a charity shop.
If she likes reading a kindle might be good as print can be big.

trailingspouse

Thanks. I'd forgotten about U3A - she might find something there if it was during the day.

But I suspect you all may be right - she really does have to just do it, if she really wants to beat the boredom.

I think her sight might be worse than she's letting on. She was never an avid reader, but doesn't read really any more. She enjoys knitting, but can't read patterns.

I try very hard not to let her get me frustrated, but there was a point this morning where I just had to walk away. And I suspect things are only going to get worse. I don't know how Dad stands it (might explain why he spends so much time doing the gardening...)

WeAreGhosts

could she knit for charity?

http://www.thebigknit.co.uk/

once she gets the hang of a pattern (you could have the instructions blown up, maybe?) then she could just knit the same thing each time