Is extra care housing suitable for someone with dementia?

Rambosmum

betsie wrote: »

Just wondered if any one has a relative in extra care housing who has dementia and whether it is suitable.

My mum (85 yrs old) was diagnosed with mixed dementia/Alzheimer's 2 yrs ago. We are very fortunate as it has progressed slowly. She still lives alone, manages to look after herself and clean the house etc. She is out every day walking her dog. Over the last few months I have noticed a decline and I had to take over sorting her tablets for her every day. I don't think she eats that well either. She also phones frequently with worries about the heating not working ( she has a new boiler but turns off rad thermostats), food she urgently needs ( potatoes at 8pm), being lonely etc etc.
I visit every day (twice some days) and am finding it increasing hard to keep everyone happy. I have 2 children ( school runs, homework etc), work part time, my dad to visit in a care home ( he is in late stages of Alzhiemers). I feel like I am constantly rushing from one to another and not giving anyone the time and support they need.

We have some assisted living flats near by and I am wondering if it would be worth trying to get my mum a flat there. She would have care in place when needed plus the social side of things. Hopefully it would delay a move to a carehome ( she keeps telling me she will kill herself if she is put in one like my dad).
My hesitation in going down this route is the worry that she might not cope with the change and that it will make her more confused and also how she will get on in a flat with her dog (they are allowed but no direct access to garden from flats).
Just wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation and how it worked out.

Sorry for the long post. I am finding it so hard, I have had to watch my dad fade away to a shell and the thought of watching my mum do the same is hard to cope with.

You're mum sounds like an excellent candidate for good quality extra care housing. Ensure that it is 'extra care' and not just 'sheltered housing' the difference being that sheltered has a warden who bobs in occasionally and often has a communal room and extra care has a bit more, coffee mornings, bingo etc and some have carers and cafe's on site too. To access the good type of extra care you normally require a social work assessment so your first port of call would be social services. They can also give you a list of all the extra care schemes in your area and you could go and have a look and a chat with staff there. There are both L.A run and private extra care/ sheltered schemes. Private ones tend to be pricier and not necessarily any better.

Does your mum own her current home? If she does, have you thought about what you'll do with it? Extra care is a rented scheme and Housing benefit is means tested, and the house will be taken in to consideration. Extra care also has a service charge, to cover communal areas, the warden, care on call etc.

A slight word of warning though- your mum might appear to deteriorate if moved as she know her current home well and won't know the new place, only you will have any idea as to whether she will adapt well.

betsie

My mum has only been in her current home 4 yrs which she doesn't own. I had to move them as the house they lived in had the steepest stairs and no where for a stair lift. It was also in a horrible area and I worried for their safety. It was also very run down and needed a complete renovation.
The extra care housing has carers on duty all the time it is run by housing 21 a non profit organisation. Most of their money has gone on paying for dads care, they still have some left so still self funding for this year but probably not much after that.
She called tonight to see how many animals she should have (has 1 dog but looks after mine while I am at work). She had been looking for 2 cats ( I think she meant dogs) I have to laugh otherwise I would sit a cry a thing I do quite often anyway.
I just don't know what to do for the best, all the de is ions are left up to me by my sisters but I know if I make the wrong one they will blame me. If only I had a crystal ball.

meritaten

betsie - you don't have to make the decisions on your own. myself and others have said she needs assessment of her needs.
go through your GP and he will arrange this or contact Social Services directly. that is what they are there for. whether you (or mum) are able to afford private care is irrelevant.
betsie, they are experts at assessing the elderly and how much care they require. it may be that right now mum just needs someone to pop in and ensure meds are taken. you seem unsure of just how much mum needs help yet seem resistant to involving SS.

betsie

My experience of SS thus far have not been good, totally disinterested in offering any help or support on what to do with dad as self funded. Mum broke her ankle a couple of years ago and sent her home from hospital to look after herself and dad with no support in place as she had told them she could manage. I will call them and ask for an assessment I just don't get the impression they always do what's best for the individual it is all about money now, budgets and lack of time.

Mojisola

betsie wrote: »

I visit every day (twice some days) and am finding it increasing hard to keep everyone happy. I have 2 children ( school runs, homework etc), work part time, my dad to visit in a care home ( he is in late stages of Alzhiemers). I feel like I am constantly rushing from one to another and not giving anyone the time and support they need.

betsie wrote: »

My experience of SS thus far have not been good, totally disinterested in offering any help or support on what to do with dad as self funded.

Mum broke her ankle a couple of years ago and sent her home from hospital to look after herself and dad with no support in place as she had told them she could manage.

I will call them and ask for an assessment I just don't get the impression they always do what's best for the individual it is all about money now, budgets and lack of time.

Social Services are over-stretched so, if someone says that they can manage, they will be left to manage.

When you phone SS for an assessment for your Mum and a carer's assessment for yourself, don't hold back. Make sure they understand that you cannot carry on as you are because Mum's needs are increasing.

If your Mum has enough to pay for carers, you can organise some yourself. I chose a small local company when Mum and Dad needed care so that they didn't have strangers turning up all the time. Even if it's just a couple of days a week, it will be a huge relief for you to know that you have those days free.

margaretclare

Well, SS people do not have a crystal ball. If someone tells them they 'don't need help and can manage' it is that person's choice and her choice is respected.

Morglin

Most 'previously sheltered'' housing schemes are getting rid of any warden service, because of funding.

They do, of course, offer some company, but few now do anything much with support needs.

Your local SSD will be best placed to advise.

Lin