Is extra care housing suitable for someone with dementia?

betsie

Just wondered if any one has a relative in extra care housing who has dementia and whether it is suitable.

My mum (85 yrs old) was diagnosed with mixed dementia/Alzheimer's 2 yrs ago. We are very fortunate as it has progressed slowly. She still lives alone, manages to look after herself and clean the house etc. She is out every day walking her dog. Over the last few months I have noticed a decline and I had to take over sorting her tablets for her every day. I don't think she eats that well either. She also phones frequently with worries about the heating not working ( she has a new boiler but turns off rad thermostats), food she urgently needs ( potatoes at 8pm), being lonely etc etc.
I visit every day (twice some days) and am finding it increasing hard to keep everyone happy. I have 2 children ( school runs, homework etc), work part time, my dad to visit in a care home ( he is in late stages of Alzhiemers). I feel like I am constantly rushing from one to another and not giving anyone the time and support they need.

We have some assisted living flats near by and I am wondering if it would be worth trying to get my mum a flat there. She would have care in place when needed plus the social side of things. Hopefully it would delay a move to a carehome ( she keeps telling me she will kill herself if she is put in one like my dad).
My hesitation in going down this route is the worry that she might not cope with the change and that it will make her more confused and also how she will get on in a flat with her dog (they are allowed but no direct access to garden from flats).
Just wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation and how it worked out.
Sorry for the long post. I am finding it so hard, I have had to watch my dad fade away to a shell and the thought of watching my mum do the same is hard to cope with.

kingfisherblue

I think it would depend on the actual company that owns and runs the assisted living homes. My daughter works in a village for elderly people, and generally they don't take new residents with dementia, but do support those who develop it whilst living there, until they need a higher level of care than they can offer. You need to look at whether the scheme near to you accepts those with early stage dementia. You also need to consider whether there would be a further move in the future, and how it could affect your mum.


In the meantime, a bit of practical advice regarding medication. Most chemists will sort prescription medicines into 'Nomad' boxes. They separate the tablets needed into days, then into morning, lunchtime, teatime and bedtime. Your mum then needs to open the appropriate day and time of day ( or you or a carer could give her the correct medication). There isn't any extra cost to dispensing medications this way, and most chemists will also ring your mum (or you, with mum's permission) a week before the prescription is due, to ensure that there are no changes. they then deliver the meds on a given day. Again, there is no extra cost.


You might also want to consider a Social Services assessment to see if there is any assistance that the local authority can offer to help your mum. As her carer, you are also entitled to an assessment yourself. Obviously, though, there have been cuts in services, so whilst they might recommend a service, it may not be available, or might be available but at a set cost.

Spendless

My Grandmother has mixed dementia and until December was still living independently in her own home. She had carers coming in twice a day initially to oversee she took her medication correctly as she was missing tablets, later they took on more care by heating up meals and helping bathe her.


We ended up with authorities involved in Grandmother's care due to a emergency call she made falsely alleging a crime had taken place. In your case what about a visit to her GP saying you think her care needs have changed since her diagnosis.

Hopefully someone will be along soon, to give you more info.

bunty109

I'd recommend social services too. i've just mentioned on another thread that there's a real drive to keep people in their own homes for as long as possible and support can be given by social services to do this (care visits, telecare to monitor falls or leaving the gas on etc.). Obviously it varies across local authorities as to what can be offered, but they are definitely worth a call.

Mojisola

Spendless wrote: »

In your case what about a visit to her GP saying you think her care needs have changed since her diagnosis.

In our area, you can self refer to Social Services for an assessment. You don't have to go through the GP.

meritaten

yes, I agree with above. She needs an assessment of her needs, and Social Services will advise with a view to keeping her in her own home as long as possible. everything you say you are worried about could probably be managed with carers popping in a couple of times a day.

betsie

Thanks for the replies so far.
The assisted living place does take people with dementia.
My main reason for thinking she might be happier there is that it is more social as has activities in the lounge every day and you can buy a cooked lunch every day as well. My mum is very sociable and I think she is very lonely at home on her own. I think that the extra company might give her a boost.
Also I hoped that if she went now it would mean she could retain her independence longer and hopefully not have to go into a care home, or be so bad at the point she went that she didn't realise.
I don't think it helps that she sees my dad in the care home and how depressing it is ( luckily he doesn't realise) and how much he and others deteriorate once they go in there. She loves walking and must do 2 miles or more a day so bring stuck in a care home would kill her.
It is so hard knowing what to do for the best.
Re the tablets she isn't very good on the days of the week now so I would still need to go round to make sure she only had 1 lot (luckily takes them all together in the evening).

tooldle

This is a tricky one. I looked at extra care housing for my mum who has dementia. The plan was to move her closer to me when dad died (he had a terminal diagnosis). The housing we considered was a private facility rather than council, and as such they could offer short stays to those considering the purchase of an apartment. Mum and Dad duly went to stay, and although they both liked the surrounding the stay revealed that mum whilst coping with her own familiar environment, cooker, washing machine, microwave etc, was not able to understand or use the appliances in the flat. I also enquirer about social housing and was told a social services referral was required to get on the wait list. The long and short was mum went into a home when dad died. At first it was a temporary placement until I found a more permanent solution. Despite being fiercely resistant at first, she has settled well and is enjoying life, mum is 78
Edited to add, mum also loves walking. The care home staff take here out every week day, either to shop for bits and pieces needed by other residents, or for a walk around the local park. Find the right home and your mums needs will be accommodate.

margaretclare

Mention of coping well in own familiar environment but then not being able to learn new appliances etc sounds fairly typical. Once dementia of any kind sets in it becomes impossible to learn anything new.

I wish I could walk 2 miles a day. I wish I could walk round the block. But hey, I'm not like those poor women. I can learn something new. I'm going to be 80 this summer. DH celebrated his 80th a month ago. What I find with him is a willingness to 'tell it as it is' and forget the politeness.

Mr_Toad

I'm sorry to hear about your mum.

A word of caution about moving her.

Sadly with dementia/Alzheimer's it's the newest memories that go first, they will often talk with perfect recall about things that happened decades ago but not remember yesterday.

She can probably cope with living in a her current home because she's been there a long time and she still remembers how the house works and where everything is. If you move her she'll probably be completely lost and won't settle and will never remember where things are.

troubleinparadise

My mum lived in her own home of 40 years when her particular dementia started.

She lost her executive function skills rather than her memory, but as a result needed help with household chores and personal care. She could shop, choose food and pay for it, but couldn't then prepare and cook a meal with it.

She also became very lonely, but more because she withdrew and wouldn't join in (again part of her dementia). She was happy if she could hear people in the house, and missed companionship - but wouldn't take part in group meals or activities for very long before withdrawing.

So whilst I felt she would have benefited from a more social living arrangement, I know she couldn't have coped with the change, nor have joined in the communal scenarios. To be honest, it would have brought me more peace of mind than her, knowing she was not alone and that there was a watchful eye on her welfare - but it was not what she wanted.

The changes with dementia can come very suddenly and unexpectedly - an infection, a fall, a downturn for no apparent reason - and what had been meeting needs before suddenly is no use any longer. For my mum it was a crisis (a fall) that triggered the ultimate move to a care home - an outcome I had become resigned to, as she would not countenance any change before - and still had the capacity to make that decision for herself.

I'm sorry I can't be more positively helpful about the assisted living, but I suspect it is a change that needs to be made either before or very early on in a diagnosis if the change is to be successful. As is often said, moving home is one of life's greatest stresses, and to attempt that when physical and mental faculties are waning can actually be the trigger for downturns and an expensive and stressful short-term solution in a rapidly changing scenario.

You are in a very difficult and sad situation yourself with both your dad in a home and mum declining, whilst juggling your own busy life and children. The Alzheimer's Society has lots of information and a very supportive Forum (Talking Point) if you might find that helpful to you:

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forum.php