Feeling Bashed

Laconic

What a pain! As you say, just continuing to pay isn't necessarily going to stop this -- this isn't really about money. It's more about a sense of obligation. I think he's got issues and while it sounds like he's overall a person you value in your lives, it's important to save yourselves too. Draw up a full list of the amount he loaned and date, all the payments made to him to date. Calculate how much of the interest outstanding has been paid, work out a payment schedule and have him countersign and have it notarised, preferably in the presence of a couple of witnesses. You keep a copy, he keeps a copy and in return, he doesn't get a say in how you spend your money. He doesn't get to ask to be paid any more quickly, he doesn't get to tack on fees -- it's now a simple business transaction and when it's done, it's done.

He'll not like it much, but tough. The alternative is that you stop paying him altogether and he can take you to small claims court. See how far he gets when he admits that he's been fully repaid and he's been arbitrarily charging interest and changing payment schedules as suits his mood.

sanfrancisco

I would do the same cake.

If they come back and ask for more, consider just paying it. They were good enough to lend to you. (If they want the 4%). Just chalk it up to experience. You should never have borrowed from then without agreeing all terms first. Also, make sure you get something in writing, txt or something to show that they are happy and that you have paid in full.

After this, feel free to tell them to butt out politely. "yes thank you for all you have done for us, but our finances are none of your business." Don't justify anything. Well dOne on sorting it all xxx

VanyaHargreeves

I'm surprised you've lasted so long! I would have lost it if a relative said anything like that to me!

danandjens_worldtravels

Discussing your financial problems... you could always explain how your financial problems are affected by a moral compass that does not allow you to take advantage of a family member in difficulty and charge them 4% interest!

Glad that at least one problem has been solved.

Laconic

Well done! He's huffy because of his loss of control, not the amount of money, where he knows he's got nothing to complain about.

Karen777

well done. and agree - let him eff right off. he has no right to have anything to do with you or your finances. and doesn't deserve your time or consideration.

sanfrancisco

Patronising git! Ignore ignore ignore x

homelovin

Well done you! I'm outraged on your behalf about his parting text. When he has his own place/spouse/kids maybe, possibly, he is in a position to comment/advise you. I have mental image of a very smug, self important individual who thinks he knows everything. (sorry - just got my fur up)!.
x

homelovin

And - by the way - I would have done the same thing regarding paying him off. Yes, you tried to do the financial right thing, paying him a lower payment so you could send more to other debts, but you also have to be kind to yourself. It is still debt repayment, just in a less stressful order that might cost you a little more in the long run. No biggie.

tlc678910

Your family member/lender sounds very jealous to me. It sounds like despite some money problems you are a happy family unit which they could only dream of. They bang on about money because it's the only way to bring you down.

Well now they are paid off they have no hold over you. Tell them your finances are under control (and none of their business) and you all need to move on. Well done for honouring your agreements - even with what seems a pretty unreasonable person!