Am I Being Unreasonable?

GBNI

In your case I would say a definite no against it. Yes, rules are good but at the same time a dog should be a member of the family. You will just end up resenting your OH if he doesn't put in the work required.

My OH would quite happily never owns dogs and does grumble at times as I'm always worrying about them. However, he works away so they are good company for me. In saying that, after my 2 go I'll not be getting any more and I am a huge dog lover. Everything has to be arranged around them. Dog sitting costs a fortune, vets fees, insurance etc my life revolves around them. But at the same time, due to the massive amounts of guilt I feel at leaving them this is a huge part of why I won't get more. Not because I don't want to but I just can't deal with leaving them. I think I have separation anxiety

One of mine is a lab. She'd be about 2 year old now. She's mental and hard work but I love her (handed into the pound for being too boisterous). She goes to weekly training classes, training every night and needs lots of exercise too come rain, hail or shine. She also weighs about 4 stone so very big and very fit.

candygirl

jen1301 wrote: »

Don't get a dog.

The poor thing would wonder what it had done wrong to be treated in the ways you describe.

I agree!Your standards don't match with having a peeing, pooping, chewing, moulting, barking little darling;)Also dogs are social animals, so need human company most of the time!My two have their own sofa lol:D It's good you're thinking seriously about it, before taking the plunge:D

sneekymum

I really don't like dogs. The smell makes me gag. I was careful to raise the subject of dogs in the early days when I fist met sneekydad as I knew I was never going to be put in the position of the OP.

A few decades ago I went with my friend to visit her sister. Sister was a browbeaten (and possibly bodily beaten) woman in a household of bloke, his mates, and his dogs. The house was as nice as she could manage but it was mostly given over to his unfinished DIY and pool table. And it stank of dog. Friend's sister was embarrassed when I declined to sit on the dog-hair sofa. Instead I suggested we go for a walk. It was on that walk that friend's sister had an epithany moment (so friend told me later). Bloke had told the little wife that if she was going for a walk she was to take the dogs. Next I heard she'd found a new life with someone who cared about her. I wonder if they have dogs.

It was that experience that set me against dogs. Well perhaps not so much against the dogs as I can see their use as companions etc, but against the sort of men who put dog before wife.


I have two guinea pigs. They are mine. I have to clean them out. Every day. Even in this weather I take the cage outside and scrub it. (The piggies are inside for the winter). OH isn't interested but since they have no impact on his life (beyond buying lots of lettuce) it's not a problem. We also have a cat. That's a shared activity.

orlao

I think if you are going to get a dog, you'd be much better off with an adult rescue especially if it's a lab! While puppies are cute and adorable they are bl00dy hard work and adolescent dogs are even worse! You could sell it to your husband as he wouldn't be able to run/bike/exercise with a young large breed until they were at least
2 to protect their joints. Same reason for not allowing the dog on the sofa or upstairs - nothing to do with the fact that Labradors are muck magnets who if they can't eat something will wallow in it. There are a lot of very good dogs in rescue through no fault of their own that could be suitable and IMO that would be a very fair compromise...

My OH is a bit like you in that he has no interest in dogs - wishes no harm to them but would never choose to have them. Unfortunately for him, I've always had them and always will, it's non negotiable for me. However, I walk them, train them, feed them and so on and I don't expect him to do any of the graft. If he had to, he would look after them but I don't ask that of him. It's 11 years since I've had a puppy and I have to admit that I'm a bit puppy broody now - it takes a minimum of 10 years between pups for me as it takes that long for me to get over the trauma of puppyhood - but I won't do that to him. Although he wouldn't stop me getting a pup, he would really struggle with the housetraining, the chewing and everything else that is part and parcel of young dogs. Even with the easiest puppy in the world it does take a significant amount of time and effort to train and achieve a canine good citizen. Young dogs have caused me to cry with frustration, wonder if we'll ever get there, total and complete embarrassment and done a fair amount of damage to my house and possessions and I love dogs. If I was lukewarm about them, I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown :eek:

gettingready

Please do NOT get a dog.

They are living, breathing beings and none deserves to live where they are not WANTED and LOVED by everyone in the household.

Tolerating one just is not enough - it is not going to work for you or for the dog.

pathtofreedom

You can get "failed" guide dogs or dogs for the disabled. So they would have been through years of training, but just don't have what it takes to do their job.

Maybe look at fostering as well, just to try it out then for a few weeks/ months and a someone elses expense normally, before committing to 10+ years.

If your hubby just wants a dog to walk, try the local rescues in your area I'm sure they'd be happy for him to come borrow a dog for a walk / run now and then.

No matter how well trained a dog is not to bark, jump up, or be whatever you define as naughty, all dogs have their own personality. So just as your lab growing up was very docile, doesn't mean a diferent one wouldn't be more cheeky. My dog is a rescue and after years of training is 99% perfect, but she has a naughty streak. She is normally only naughty when she knows I'm watching so it is attention seeking. I wouldn't change her though even when she is being bad.

chucknorris

My wife rang me up when I was going to pick up our first dog from the rescue centre, she said:

I know that you really want a dog and I am only agreeing because you want one so much. She was concerned that she would have to look after it, feed it and take it out, god knows where she got that impression from. I love taking him out, he comes out running with me off lead (sometimes off road cycling too) as well as normal walks (also off lead).

She had no idea that she would actually love him, I think she thought that it was going to be like having a goldfish, she was amazed at the interaction she (we) have with our dog. She would never dream of us not having a dog now. When Mills our first dog passed away we were both devastated, we needed to get another dog, and we did, and things are more or less the same with Ozzie as they were with Mills.

lisa110rry

A few thoughts on dog ownership...

I am lucky enough to have a Hearing Dogs for Deaf People "Fallen Angel" - a dog who passed her assessment but was never paired with a deaf person. She was, when I got her, beautifully trained. Because she was a Hearing Dog trainee, there was never a question but that she would be allowed in the bedroom (part of her job to wake me when the alarm went off) however, I have a friend whose American Cocker Spaniel positively loves her crate indoors and her kennel and run outdoors.

I agree that borrowmydoggy would be a good first step and Cinnamon Trust would be a socially responsible kind and caring thing (I am a member of both.)

Getting a dog back in May 2006 with no prior reference to my husband was a risk, but I was working away from home all week in those days and it was very lonely - so I took her with me and fitted out my 4wd as a mobile kennel, keeping an eye on the sun and moving my car so she was always in shade with sun roof open. I now work 12 miles from home and my husband is retired but she still comes with me into the office occasionally as the vet is nearer the office than home. She's really good in the office as she'll walk up to a colleague who might skritch her ear for a while and then go back to working feeling less stressed.

I must say my dog is remarkable. She has a walk every morning and every evening and does not ask to be let out in between, though she knows how. Having said that, once or twice since May 2006 she has cried at the door with tummy troubles and then you let her out FAST!

On my walks, morning and evening, I meet so many lovely people with and without dogs and over the years a support group has grown up locally and we all help each other. When I was unable to walk my dog for a dreadful eight weeks after an operation I did have to ask my husband to do it, but many times dog walking friends came round to take her out for us.

I love my walks with her - we go at 07.00 and at 18.00 for at least 30 minutes each time, much longer on the weekends. The morning walk gives me time to plan my work day and the evening walk gives me a break between "work Lisa" and "home Lisa".

I work full time and manage quite a large home whereas my husband is retired however, normally I do everything for my dog because she is *my* dog. She also loves my husband, but she relies on me. I walk her, feed her, bathe her (though recently we have moved to having her groomed by a professional - she just needs batheing not clipping), keep her training fresh, discipline her when necessary, and pay for vets fees, insurance, food, treats, etc.

The foregoing is the "up" side of dog ownership.

The "down" side, particularly with rescue Labradors and other large and small dogs, especially around the 6 months to 1 year mark is that the training window may have been missed. You will be able to train the dog eventually but it will be much harder. Unfortunately, lots of people get dogs without realising how much effort must go into training and after 6 months or so give up and then you have an unruly dog.

I would not presume to advise you on whether dog ownership would be right for you, I offer these comments to show you that dog ownership can open up a whole new world of friendship but it can also be a struggle. To be honest most of your rules are absolutely fine to me. There are many dogs in our village who live outside and in fact some of these will not enter a house. On the other hand, some of the outdoor dogs are allowed in the house in the evenings for affection then return to their kennels to sleep. I would not tolerate a dog who begs, so being outdoors while you eat seems fine to me. I can sit on the floor and eat and my dog would not approach me as she knows we eat first and then her. A good canine citizen is a joy.

Finally, there was a small typo in one of the earlier posts...

"You get out of a dog what you put in and all members of the household need to be *signing* from the same hymn sheet."

This made me giggle! I had a mental image of my Hearing Dog Fallen Angel signing away with her paws as I sang her praises!

heartbreak_star

Aww Lisa, FallenAngels is the name of my cheer squad - maybe we should sponsor a hearing dog at some point

HBS x

lisa110rry

How wonderful would that be heartbreak_star????

I started my association with Hearing Dogs when I sponsored an HD in my elderly Mother-in-law's name as a gift (she requested animal sponsorships for birthday presents instead of "things"). A year later I sponsored another dog in my own name along with hers. When I was allowed to Rehome my dear little Fallen Angel, I upped my sponsorship to £25 per month through Give as You Earn, just to say thank you for giving me the best thing ever!

Hope your cheer squad doesn't do too much falling, lol!