What should we know before we start TTC?

Dinah93

The average time it takes a couple in the UK with no fertility issues to fall pregnant is 5 cycles. A perfectly healthy couple could take 1 cycle or 10 - it doesn't mean there is a problem, although you'll no doubt be worrying after the first few months. The window for conception is very, very small and even if conception occurs the egg might not implant. I second the advice about folic acid. Also if you're on any ongoing medication speak to your gp prior to conception about if it's safe or if you need moving onto something else. Plan your budget, even though everyone panics about maternity leave a lot of families find that actually that's the easy part, it's all the classes, days out, new clothes, new shoes, childcare etc that come after that' the hard part.

bylromarha

Don't expect it to happen within the first year, or the second, or the third or fourth...I had to live with disappointment for many pregnancy tests.

You can't put your life on hold because you *may* become a parent. Keep living as normal - apply for the promotion, spend as normal, save as normal.

Know that a sad statistic of pregnancy is that one in 3 end in natural miscarriage before 12 weeks.

Sorry that this is all negative - I just wish someone had told me this before as we had a long time before the blue line appeared, and the more people I talk to, the more I realise that our pregnancy experience is quite normal but no one talks about these bits - it's only the "woohoo I'm pregnant" part which most people hear and see, but the rest of the hurt and pain leading up to it is a part of their TTC journey.

sulphate

I'm 8 months pg now and this is what I've learnt...

Do:
- accept that getting pregnant might be immediate or it might take months
- start taking folic acid now or you could go a step further and take particular pregnancy vitamins
- allow some time for your body to get back to normal if you have recently come off hormonal contraception
- (if you want) take some control and use opk kits, thermometers etc. As someone else said, there is a small window in which to conceive
- start saving now, no matter what your plans are with regards to maternity leave/going back to work - it gives you more options
- start buying baby stuff as and when you feel comfortable - we bought most things between 20-30 weeks (after the anomaly scan but before I got too massive to contemplate all day shopping trips)

Don't:
- get obsessed with TTC or put your life on hold because of it
- have any expectations from the pregnancy. Some people have good pregnancies and others don't
- compare yourself to other women's TTC journeys/pregnancies/other couples. Everyone is different
- waste money on maternity clothes before you need them. I've managed to get by only buying a few items

*niptuckfan*

thanks for this, planning coming off pill next month :j

AmyTurtle

There is a TTC thread on the main relationships board, come and join us!
Main thing is that it can take a while for the pill to get out your system, and you should start taking folic acid as soon as you stop taking the pill. I use ovulation test strips, these are much cheaper from Amazon than in the shops. Bear in mind not everyone ovulates on day 14 and has a 28 day cycle, my cycle varies from 30-45 days and I ovulate around day 23 usually!

System

You should know that kids give you a MASSIVE HEADACHE!!!
Sorry, I'm having one of those days, my 1-year-old has started terrible 2s early!! :mad: I'm also 7 months pregnant so have zero patience!!

Anyway, pps have covered most of the important bits. I will repeat the folic acid advice though, it's so important that you take it.

I wouldn't buy too much stuff. You may get some nice gifts for baby from friends & family, plus a lot of the stuff you can buy once baby is here. As long as he/she is fed, clean, clothed & has somewhere to sleep then all is well

Be as open minded as you can when you write your birth plan. Births are rarely textbook, and it's not often that mum's get exactly what they want. And ignore horror stories as people just like to tell everyone how 'awful' it was as they feel so proud that they got through it. If I wrote my birth story down you'd think "omg that's awful" but it wasn't that bad.

People will give you unwanted advice. Just smile & nod

Positively

My one piece of advice would be to make sure you are,and maintain, a healthy BMI. Your BMI is calculated in early pregnancy and can have a big impact on your pregnancy. Increased risk of gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, pre-eclampsia, venous thromboembolism, miscarriage, pre term birth, stillbirth, instrumental birth and caesarean section. I know big can be beautiful and women arehappy with their size etc but when it comes to having babies it pays dividends to be healthy. Obviously the above conditions can exist in the healthiest women but if you need to lose weight, pre pregnancy is a good time to do it!! Your weight also impacts on birth, trying to site an epidural or spinal can become difficult, you may not be allowed to use as birth pool, even a GA can be in an emergency. I'm not trying to scare anyone but as a midwife I see the impact of obesity and it's something that we are actually n control of so pregnancy could be a great motivator ��