Anxiety attacks, can you advise me please?

Aura

I hope this is the right forum.


Where do I start? I'm not sure.

Once a year I go to Newquay in Cornwall for a break from the stresses of the city, I love it here and would love to retire here one day.


Anyway I keep seeing a man who works in an arcade, I think he's the manager or so he's said. I am always polite to people and I like to chat. This year he gave me his mobile phone number and asked me if I would like to meet him at Perrenporth beach which he said he sometimes goes on walks on. I politely accepted it because I didn't want to be rude. I have Ashburgers so if you know what that condition is you know what it also entails etc but that's another story.


Anyway I began to worry a bit because I always listen to my gut feeling and I wasn't sure about meeting him. The next day i thought i better text him in case he thought i was being rude. I did and he texed back saying 'who's this, text back'. I* did and he asked me if I wanted to meet him on the Sunday asking me if I wanted to visit him. I said no because I had something on (which i did) and he never texed back which made me a bit worried I had put my foot in it etc. :eekpurple


I went to visit him the next day at the arcade but he wasn't there as it was his day off. I did manage to chat to him and he said I hadn't upset him, but I have been in a violent relationship in the past and you learn to read men etc.

Then he said 'don't go telling the others I gave you my phone number' I thought I had put my foot in it but he said I hadn't. After that I started to feel a bit odd and in a caf! my appetite completely vanished and I went all hot and cold. Since then I occasionally get (I don't know whether to call them panic attacks or hypos) which wasn't very nice because I thought I was going down with a virus etc.


I was with my parents and my mum is deaf and I couldn't get her to understand why I was so anxious. She misunderstood (which is a problem people with Ashburgers get) because they can't get across what we mean which is bloody frustrating.
My dad is going deaf through age and he insists on going to that arcade which I avoid like the plague now, and keeps telling me to ignore him; if it was only as easy as that. He doesn't really have the patience for my condition and I know have to talk to my parents in a loud voice otherwise they'd never hear me.


Now I keep going shaky and anxious for no reason now, it's not as bad as it was but I take rescue remedy which seems to help but it's very expensive at £8 for a tiny bottle of drops in Superdrug!


I saw one Dr who didn't bother to listen to a word I said, asked me a question and abruptly before I had time to answer said I had to go and I'd have to make another appointment to answer it! I don't think so and that angered me to no end:


What's the bloody point of asking me a question then basically telling me to !!!!!! off because my time was up!


I have seen another Dr who wants me to go on pills! I don't want this, why are these things dished out like sweets? PILLS for every damn thing! I have agreed to a blood test, but I doubt they will find anything (apart from my blood group which is A)


So I have come on here asking for advice, I know it's a bit long winded, so sorry about that.


I don't have anyone apart from my parents, last night I awoke feeling anxious, probably because I have needle phobia and I was worrying about the injection.


Many thanks for reading.

Corelli

Hello Aura,

my son has Asperger's Syndrome and Social Anxiety Disorder so I have seen in him how crippling deep anxiety and panic attacks can be. The anxiety is horrible and you have all my sympathy. My mother was deaf, so I can understand that frustration too.

I assume, by the way, that you mean Asperger's Syndrome, I suspect your spell check has had it's own ideas about what you were typing.

The situation with the man in the arcade sounds a bit weird, but if you usually enjoy yourself there with your parents perhaps you could find some way of over riding the anxiety. It would be a shame if he was to put you off going there.

You did absolutely the right thing to let him know you could not meet him. Presumably he felt awkward for some reason afterwards. About giving you his number I mean. No one will know why he feels awkward, he has his own reasons.

Your doctor doesn't sound like they helped you much. Was this your GP?

There are ways of helping yourself with anxiety, different ways of breathing, understanding and accepting that the worrying thoughts are just thoughts, tricks to help your mind shift perspective.

I was looking this up on google, trying to find a website to help you relax your mind. Then I found this app for anxiety management that looks useful. Do you have a phone that can use apps? If you do this might be worth looking at. https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/self-help-for-anxiety-management/id666767947?mt=8

Otherwise, before drugs are used, it might be worth asking your doctor for CBT. This is a form of talking therapy to help you change the way you think. Some areas have better provision for this than others. As a last resort there are drugs.

Another thought is if you find rescue remedy works, some essential oils might help too. Many people find the smell of lavender or chamomile very relaxing and a bottle of that would last longer and be cheaper than rescue remedy.

My son takes medication that has helped him change from someone who is too afraid to leave their bedroom (at his worst) into someone who can go to school most of the time.

I hope you find something that helps.

Mojisola

Aura wrote: »

I have seen another Dr who wants me to go on pills! I don't want this, why are these things dished out like sweets? PILLS for every damn thing!

Don't completely reject the idea of pills. They can be a helpful aid in making progress - as long as you make other changes and don't just rely on the pills completely.

dancingfairy

If you don't get on with your doctor for some reason you can always ask to see a different one. There doesn't need to be a reason, sometimes you just don't get on with people. You might find a different one is more helpful.
It might also be worth having a look at national societies so something like the national autistic society or similar. I know the national autistic society have a list of things that are available in different areas so it might be worth seeing what help and support are available in your area.
Anxiety is horrible, I hope you can get over this/learn to manage it better.
Is it this situation with the person in the arcade that is making you anxious or is it just generally do you think?
df

Edwardia

I had panic attacks and stopped them with help from

https://www.nopanic.org.uk

Lips_and_Lashes

I understand exactly what you are saying. My parents have always thought I have some form of Autism and as I've got older I have to agree with them, although I've never approached a Dr about it.

I have suffer with Anxiety too, it is a very debilitating disorder especially with anxiety and panic attacks. I can understand why you'd want to avoid visiting the arcade but you really should not have too. Why make the man in the arcade such a big part of your life when your probably not a big part of his? I know that sounds incredibly harsh, it took me back when a Dr first put it to me like that.

It takes courage to talk to a GP about it and to be knocked back it disgusting. Perhaps see another Dr? Try writing down/making a list which could take with you to prompt you or even hand it to the Dr himself. I think its worth trying CBT before taking any medication, if the Dr does not offer this then perhaps ask him to refer you.

I'm currently waiting for my first CBT appointment in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping it will help me a lot.

All the best!

Aura

Thanks for your kind replies. At a time I should be looking forward to going on holiday, I feel I don't deserve it and feel guilty about what happened. Holidays are something to be enjoyed, not looked upon with dread which I sometimes do.


I assume, by the way, that you mean Asperger's Syndrome, I suspect your spell check has had it's own ideas about what you were typing.



Yeah it keeps wanting to call it ‘hamburgers’ har har!


Your doctor doesn't sound like they helped you much. Was this your GP?


No it wasn’t, but she can be just as patronizing, and tried to brow beat me into having a coil when I wanted a pill.


Thanks for the link, I’d never heard of it. Only problem is that my phone is so slow it’s unbelievable I go to a group ran by Mind which seems to help. Sometimes the attacks come on with no reason.


How does the no panic organisation work please?

fluffnutter

GPs will first suggest pills for anxiety primarily because they're a very effective treatment. However, it's totally acceptable to want to try another approach and you shouldn't feel unable to say this to your doctor. But don't assume that they're uninterested, or fobbing you off with inappropriate medication - that's not the case at all.

Anxiety is a horrible thing, I hope you find something that helps. Go back to your GP.

fluffnutter

Aura wrote: »

Holidays are something to be enjoyed, not looked upon with dread which I sometimes do.

I always do. I don't enjoy them in the least. So I've stopped going. Problem solved

j.e.j.

fluffnutter wrote: »

GPs will first suggest pills for anxiety primarily because they're the most cost-effective treatment.

Sorry just had to correct that sentence

Cuilean

In defence of GPs, a lot of them simply don't have the experience to deal with anxiety. It is the quickest, easy option to throw an anti-depressant at a patient, but if you keep refusing and refusing (As I have in my 10 years of being a diagnosed anxiety disorder sufferer, anyway) they get the message that you do not appreciate being offered anti-depressants. Their most recent suggestion has been beta blockers, but as I'm asthmatic, they can't really offer those anyway, so we wind up back at square one. There's some suggestion of some of the drugs used for Parkinsons' having some effect on anxiety, but it's very early days, and you'd be a bit of a guinea pig.

If you're looking for a supportive community, the No More Panic forums are full of people going through, or who've been through, anxiety disorders of all sorts - social anxiety, panic attacks, phobias - and they're great. They've been there, done that, and got the proverbial T shirt.

I'd entirely echo the advice of seeing another doctor. Does your GP's practice have a website where each doctor's specialities are listed? Give CBT a try, too. There's a series of excellent free downloadable books on the No More Panic forum's website which I really recommend, which are effectively CBT in written form, and might be a nice introduction to CBT for you if you're worried about going out and meeting a counsellor. My GPs also offer CBT by phone, which might be something you could ask for.

Ten years on, and I'm not "cured" of my anxiety disorder, but I'm better at recognising when I'm sinking or managing things well. I hope that you'll be able to find something that works for you. People often don't understand how crippling it is to suffer constantly with your brain on overdrive, and I can only imagine how confusing it must be to have Asperger's in the mix with it.