Pre nups

[simon]

Ide like to know your opinions on domestic and maritual pre nups.

A document which is drawn out by you, your partner and a solicitor / lowyer which out lines conditions and basicly writes out what is to happen to possetions and living arraingments / any join bank accounts / savings when / if the relationship / marraige ends.

On the thought that maybe you have already done the hard graft and saved up a deposit to buy your house and maybe still is doing it to pay for your mortgage. Is it right if you have a relationship and live with someone elce, have kids and maybe marry and later if the relationship breaks down you loose half your house ? Or your savings ?

On the basis that you dont expect your other half to pay for the mortgage too, they just pay for their food and half towards bills. The mortgage has nothing to do with them.

Regarding any other posetions They leave with what they come with, why should they have more if they have not worked for it them selfs ??

Even if the person with their own home decides to leave their partner, why should their partner have a right to take half ?? After all we are all entitled to change our minds and emotions right ???

Love is one thing, love, care, shairing. But having a partner take half of your prize posetions becuase one of you wants to end the relationship ?? Is that going too far ???

What do you think ???

Pollycat

Read this link:

http://www.prenups.uk.com/site/summary-of-the-current-law

Pre-nups are not strictly enforceable or legally binding in the UK (England and Wales). Unlike a commercial contract you cannot sue on a pre-nup and there is always the possibility that if the marriage breaks down the court will not uphold the terms of the pre-nup. Pre-nups, post-nups and pre-civil registration agreements (they all work in the same way) cannot exclude the jurisdiction of the court to deal with financial issues on marriage breakdown, or the breakdown of a civil partnership.

You mention kids.

Do you really think it fair that someone has your children, cares for your children (not to mention caring, cooking, cleaning etc for you) and when you decide that you've changed your mind and your emotions, you just walk away with what you came into the marriage with?

Nice attitude. Really nice.

cte1111

I think if you are getting married, then you shouldn't be thinking that you've "got a right to change your mind", you should feel confident that this it the person you love and want to be with forever. If not, then don't get married.

Mojisola

[simon] wrote: »

Love is one thing, love, care, shairing. But having a partner take half of your prize posetions becuase one of you wants to end the relationship ?? Is that going too far ???

What do you think ???

I don't think you'll need to worry about a pre-nup because who would marry you when you have that attitude?

Pollycat

Questions to the OP:

Do you currently have a partner?

Do you live together?

Does your partner work?

Do you have children together?

Do you have a mortgage on the house you live in?

Did you put down 100% of the deposit?

If you don't have a partner, don't have a mortgage etc - don't you think you're putting the cart before the horse by worrying about pre-nups at this stage?

itsanne

[simon] wrote: »

Ide like to know your opinions on domestic and maritual pre nups.

A document which is drawn out by you, your partner and a solicitor / lowyer which out lines conditions and basicly writes out what is to happen to possetions and living arraingments / any join bank accounts / savings when / if the relationship / marraige ends.

On the thought that maybe you have already done the hard graft and saved up a deposit to buy your house and maybe still is doing it to pay for your mortgage. Is it right if you have a relationship and live with someone elce, have kids and maybe marry and later if the relationship breaks down you loose half your house ? Or your savings ?

On the basis that you dont expect your other half to pay for the mortgage too, they just pay for their food and half towards bills. The mortgage has nothing to do with them.

Regarding any other posetions They leave with what they come with, why should they have more if they have not worked for it them selfs ??

Even if the person with their own home decides to leave their partner, why should their partner have a right to take half ?? After all we are all entitled to change our minds and emotions right ???

Love is one thing, love, care, shairing. But having a partner take half of your prize posetions becuase one of you wants to end the relationship ?? Is that going too far ???

What do you think ???

:eek:

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you: there's no point in marrying at all if that's how you see the relationship. Decision made.

SanguineSteve

Alimony is shockingly unfair and draconian. It's not fit for purpose in 2015 in my opinion.

I can't stand this "If this is something you're thinking about, then you shouldn't be getting married" It suggests that you should leave your brain on the aisle for the sake of luuurve. (Marriage is of itself, totally outdated too if you ask me... that's for another time though).

Almost half of all marriages fail for one reason or another. So, it's prudent to want to protect the assets you accrued before you met someone. Now that co-habiting couples are subject to almost the same 'rights' as married ones, I would see it fit that pre-nups become more common place.

SailorSam

I had an ex girlfriend, she was a Yank, and she was loaded.
She wanted me to go back and live with her in the States and offered to set me up in business, but i would have had to sign a pre-nup first. We hadn't planned on getting married just living together.
I decided to stay poor, and stay here.

Mojisola

SanguineSteve wrote: »

Alimony is shockingly unfair and draconian. It's not fit for purpose in 2015 in my opinion.

I can't stand this "If this is something you're thinking about, then you shouldn't be getting married" It suggests that you should leave your brain on the aisle for the sake of luuurve. (Marriage is of itself, totally outdated too if you ask me... that's for another time though).

Almost half of all marriages fail for one reason or another. So, it's prudent to want to protect the assets you accrued before you met someone. Now that co-habiting couples are subject to almost the same 'rights' as married ones, I would see it fit that pre-nups become more common place.

No, they aren't. No-one has to get married these days to be respectable - if you don't want to share everything you have, just don't get married.

mattyprice4004

Pollycat wrote: »

Read this link:

http://www.prenups.uk.com/site/summary-of-the-current-law


You mention kids.

Do you really think it fair that someone has your children, cares for your children (not to mention caring, cooking, cleaning etc for you) and when you decide that you've changed your mind and your emotions, you just walk away with what you came into the marriage with?

Nice attitude. Really nice.

Here's a completely radical and non-Victorian take on the subject -what if the man does those things too?

Nice attitude to assume the man does none of that, really nice.

itsanne

SanguineSteve wrote: »

Alimony is shockingly unfair and draconian. It's not fit for purpose in 2015 in my opinion.

I can't stand this "If this is something you're thinking about, then you shouldn't be getting married" It suggests that you should leave your brain on the aisle for the sake of luuurve. (Marriage is of itself, totally outdated too if you ask me... that's for another time though).

Almost half of all marriages fail for one reason or another. So, it's prudent to want to protect the assets you accrued before you met someone. Now that co-habiting couples are subject to almost the same 'rights' as married ones, I would see it fit that pre-nups become more common place.

You're missing the point. There's no need to get married, other than for the legal bits. If you don't want the legal bits, don't get married. It's not rocket science.

(As it happens, I don't necessarily disagree with the concept of protecting assets accrued before marriage.)