Chistening invitation

flowerfairy70

Long time lurker asking a question.
My daughter has a baby boy that she's getting christened, I mentioned this to a friend of mine in convasation who said to tell her when It is and she'll get the day of work, thing is my daughter is paying for it all, arranging it all, and doing the invitations for the family and her friends.

I Had no idea when I told my friend she was going to say this as she doesn't pay an interest in the baby or my daughter (I just mentioned it in convo) My daughter had a set amount for the christening and gone a little over budget without inviting my friend/s, ( which I certainly hadn't expected her to anyway).
How do I best explain that my daughter is arranging It all, on a budget, without hurting her feelings. Is it normal for people to 'invite themselves'?



Thanks

bazzyb

Churches are open to the public. A christening is not a private event. If extra people go along, it will not cost your daughter a penny.

I'm not sure what the issue is, nobody needs an invite and there would be no impact on any budget.

marleyboy

Just be honest and straight about it, that as far as you know, its by invitation only and your not in control of the invitations. She might be a little disappointed, but she can hardly blame you and will more likely just shrug it off.

Torry_Quine

flowerfairy70 wrote: »

Long time lurker asking a question.
My daughter has a baby boy that she's getting christened, I mentioned this to a friend of mine in convasation who said to tell her when It is and she'll get the day of work, thing is my daughter is paying for it all, arranging it all, and doing the invitations for the family and her friends.

I Had no idea when I told my friend she was going to say this as she doesn't pay an interest in the baby or my daughter (I just mentioned it in convo) My daughter had a set amount for the christening and gone a little over budget without inviting my friend/s, ( which I certainly hadn't expected her to anyway).
How do I best explain that my daughter is arranging It all, on a budget, without hurting her feelings. Is it normal for people to 'invite themselves'?



Thanks

Christenings are usually part of a normal Sunday service so anyone can come. Obviously who comes to any celebration afterwards is different

marleyboy

I think OP does mean the celebrations .

bazzyb

marleyboy wrote: »

its by invitation only

...but it's not!

A christening is a public declaration that you have decided to bring your child up as a Christian, etc.

flowerfairy70

Oh sorry yes I did mean the after celebrations.

bazzyb

flowerfairy70 wrote: »

Oh sorry yes I did mean the after celebrations.

Does your friend know there will be a party? Obviously you know them and we don't, but from what you've posted it just sounds like they want to go to the christening, so there would be no harm in telling them where and when.

Don't mention the party if they're not invited - not everybody who gets their child christened has a party.

flowerfairy70

Yes I mentioned the party saying the daughter didn't know if to have it when he should have been born (he was premature) or on his first birthday as a double celebration.

marleyboy

flowerfairy70 wrote: »

Yes I mentioned the party saying the daughter didn't know if to have it when he should have been born (he was premature) or on his first birthday as a double celebration.

I am sure she will understand that the party is more a private affair that you have no control over who gets invited.

NobodysChild

marleyboy wrote: »

Just be honest and straight about it, that as far as you know, its by invitation only and your not in control of the invitations. She might be a little disappointed, but she can hardly blame you and will more likely just shrug it off.

bazzyb wrote: »

Does your friend know there will be a party? Obviously you know them and we don't, but from what you've posted it just sounds like they want to go to the christening, so there would be no harm in telling them where and when.

Don't mention the party if they're not invited - not everybody who gets their child christened has a party.

I think flowerfairy, that this woman will have to be told that your daughter is doing the invites, and that you have no control over it, although she will probably be narked off.

Thing is, as people have mentioned, a Church is a public place, so nobody can stop her going there, but when she is there, she will obviously find out at the Church that there is a celebration after.

I do get a bit annoyed when people who haven't shown any interest in your kids or whatever, suddenly show an interest in the Christening, when they think there's free food and a party that they can invite themselves too.

The fact that this woman has shown zero interest in the baby shows that she is someone who just has to be at everyone's social function, because it makes her feel like she is liked more. The amount of people who turned up out of nowhere, who had not been in touch for years, when they found out we were getting married was astounding. Same with the kids christenings. Like people have said, nobody can stop them attending the Church, but they can't come to the function after, unless invited.