The 'I'm less money-idiot more money-savvy' Diary

Kantankrus_Mare

Well done Judi......:beer: You have done brill and you amaze me with your energy . Your kids should be very proud of you!

judi24

Thanks KM


I am now looking around at the house and garden and surveying all that has been neglected while I was focusing on my work!


Need to take stock and make some lists and get back on track with paying my debt to - not even made a single over payment this month!!!

takingcontrolatlast

Well done Judi :beer:

judi24

Well yesterday I had a real low day! I was so so tired - I guess it was a build up of the stress and study catching up - but not helped by a really horrible day in work. It was the first time since I took this job that I really didn't want to be there! Everything was overwhelming! I had promised the kids that we would go out to dinner to celebrate finishing the dissertation but when I got home the house was a tip - DD2 had been off and I at least expected that she would have tidied a little and maybe vacuumed - but no! Washing still on the line from the day before, mess everywhere and DS lying playing xbox not dressed and DD3 lying on the couch watching TV! I lost it!(and I don't know why as this scene is not un usual in my house!) and went in my room and cried!!!! Now I rarely feel sorry for myself but I felt so sad and alone! Kids were great they left me for an hour - then one by one came in gave me a hug and got into bed beside me! DD2 offered to make dinner (would have been a challenge as there was nothing to make) but eventually I got myself together we decided on a takeaway and a film as no one could be bothered getting ready to go out! While I was picking up the food the kids tidied and vacuumed and we ended up having a nice night watching the Da Vinci Code!


Feel a bit better today - managed to make it to the school fair then we went shopping as DD3 needed something to wear for her leavers party this week! A bit of a spendy day but DS and DD3 needed a few bits for the summer - went to the city and it reminded me of how little I go shopping - was fun - but wouldn't want to do it every week!


Tomorrow is a stay at home, tidy, clean and sort money day! I may need to go food shopping but not until I have written and menu plan and list! Got to get organised again!!!

Bobarella

Judi - it sounds like you've been under so much pressure lately. It was bound to come out at some point. And seeing the kids behaving so carelessly obviously set you off. It's lovely that they rallied round in the end. I get cross with my husband and son sometimes. It feels like I am the only one who is capable of maintaining order the state of the house when I get home after they've been home alone for a day. So sympathies. Glad you have tommorow to regroup and focus for the week.

Butti

I think you always deflate after a massive effort Judi. You'll be sleep deprived too. After my dissertation I just wanted to sleep. ..cry...and repeat. I got to go and work on a cider bar with a man who made basil faltey look calm.

judi24

Thanks Bob and Butti - had to laugh at the thought of the cider bar and Basil Fawlty!


Yes I guess I have happily ignored everything else apart from the necessities at home and at work and now reality has hit that I will have to catch up and I have no Idea where I will get the energy to do it all! I have also neglected my attempt to eat healthily and be active as a family and I am feeling down about that too!


It is also rare that I get down about being single - but just now It would be so good to feel supported! But hey it is what it is!

beanielou

I know exactly what you mean.
Sometimes it would just be nice to be supported.
Oh well we can keep plodding xx

judi24

Right back to being positive and plodding on! Didn't have a great day yesterday - not very productive with the cleaning, sorting etc managed a food shop but that's about it! I did manage to speak to a guy who has been doing a few gardens near me - £20 a fortnight to do grass and general tidy up/borders etc - I have decided to go for it just for a couple of months until I get the house organised! That way its one less thing to feel miserable about - £40 a month for 3 months is definitely doable within my budget!


Spent yesterday mulling over the moving house idea again! But I really think I have just fallen out of love with my house and if it was clutter free and I could get on top of the cleaning plus do a few jobs that desperately need doing I would feel better! and realistically down sizing won't really save me much money as I will still need a 4 bed house (and it would be a huge upheaval)! So I have written a list of all the little things I need to do and will try to prioritise them and cost out anything that needs money!


Looking at my debt repayment (need to update signature but not paid any extra payments so far as still planning what to do!) I could slow down a little and get my house in order without incurring any interest and that might make me a little more content and in control! - it needs some more thought as I really want the debt gone - but also want to feel like I am not putting my life on hold which I guess is what I've been doing!


Need to come up with a realistic plan!

judi24

Oh dear - still no plan!!! Feeling very eugh!!! Went on a little camping trip with a group of friends from Fri to Sun - it was hard work but good fun and kids were good! DS helped with putting tent up and getting camp sorted and only had one episode of real silliness! But home last night and so so tired!!!


Not done any planning or cleaning or sorting or anything constructive really! Really need to find my mojo! DS and DD3 have gone to their dads now for 3 weeks and rather than feeling thankful for the break I feel very sad!!! Crazy I know- but I miss them already!


I need to try to make use of my time without them but I am just so tired!!!