Make do, Mend and Minimise in 2015

meritaten

if I can add my pennorth to the 'teacher' debate?
I was a student about 13 years ago at a further education college and was asked to do 'Student Support' by one of my own tutors. I agreed (the pay was amazing! - I earned more per hour than my OH). and tutored 1 to 1 a 93 yr old gentleman, who only did the course to learn how to communicate with his grandson via email and was giving the course tutor a hard time as he was supposed to do everything on the curriculum! as he was a former maths teacher and headmaster he totally intimidated her! we quickly made friends with each other and as I had the time I could demonstrate to him how each aspect of the course would enrich his life. he took to it like a duck to water! he passed the course and the college still loudly trumpets his triumph as the 'oldest' grad! his tutor credits me with his success - but given that she had 24 other students, if she had been his 1-1 the result would be the same. she was a brilliant teacher and I just passed on what she taught me.
sorry - rambling, to make a long story a bit shorter - other tutors then asked for me as SS (student support) and I was working nearly full time and still doing my full time course - and I still felt I didn't have the workload of the 'real' teaching staff. my job was easy compared to thiers. they are mostly dedicated, mostly deeply committed and it absolutely infuriates me when 'the bad apples in the school' let everyone else down.


Teachers are not as well paid as they should be for the hours they actually work. Good teachers are not rewarded - it really annoys me that teachers who 'muddle along', don't mark work in a timely manner, don't do the 'extras' that others do and generally are doing it 'as a job' get paid the same.
its very evident at grandson 2s school who the dedicated teachers are - and who aren't.

HOWMUCH

Hello everyone we are back from your first little break, had a lovely time with DGS we wasn't able to do our normal coasthopper journey's due to DH not having full control of his urine since his prostate op. So we stayed very close to the caravan park and did plenty of swimming and sandcastle building oh and shell collecting, visits to the swings and slide. I took great pride when people commented on DGS hand knitted tops. Got some bargains from the CS in Hunstanton a couple of books @ 20p and a couple @ 49p DGS is spot the dog mad so he got a bedtime stories book with about a dozen in.

HOWMUCH

Oh just wanted to also mention I have worked full time whilst bringing up 2 children and for 12 years I worked 2 jobs total of 57 hours when the children were 8 and 3.
I found this site whilst paying for my daughter at Med School which was a 6 year course and we needed to watch the pennies, I have always been frugal but she was 290 miles away and we needed to go and see her regular as we all missed her so the belt had to made even tighter. Well she graduated in 2009 and be came a partner in a GP surgery only in the next village to where she lives last month when she finished her training. As most of you know I still work 37 hours a week and we look after DGS, but in September I will take early retirement, I'm 60 in July and this will enable me to fully look after him for her, he is getting a little too much for his grandpa. I will also be able to do a little housework and cooking for her, her ex husband decided to jump ship 18 months ago so needs must we had to step into more childcare than we first thought, but would not change a thing he is a lovely little chap.
So quiet afew of us have similar stories to tell, I too am in my 2nd marriage but I didn't have children in my first. We have just had out 32nd anniversary.

janb5

Hi everyone,

I have already had some acceptances for the Meet up at my house on Friday June 12th and I am looking forward to meeting everyone. If there is anyone else who would like to come, please PM me and I can give you details.

If it is all right with everyone , I would like to do the food myself ( obviously if anyone has any dietary requirements/allergies please let me know. This makes it a lot easier for people travelling on public transport etc. I would like to suggest that if everyone that comes pays £10 that will cover lunch and tea. I intend to give the money to my grandson Charlie who has the horrible condition SMA Type 2. He is five years old and in a wheelchair.

I havent forgotten Jackie and her sponsored run so Jackie please add my name to the list of sponsors.

lindadykes

A long time lurker here, coming out of the shadows! I have followed this thread avidly from the start but haven't posted mainly because of the "time poor thing". Luckily I am now back to working part time so I feel now is the ideal point to join in. Can I just say first off what a lovely supportive group this has become, although I haven't posted before I feel as if I already "know" many of you. I was first married at the tender age of 17 - a "shotgun" wedding. When I found out I was pregnant I left my job in the civil service as I was too ashamed to let my work colleagues know I was pregnant (though I'm sure the rather hasty marriage somewhat gave it away!) Inevitably both my husband and I grew up and grew apart so by the tender age of 22 I was a divorcee. I returned to full time education to get my A levels and managed to secure a small education grant of £10 pwk (My mortgage payments were £6 per week). My son and I actually lived quite healthily as we lived near the sea and could buy whiting of the fishermen for only 10p a pound - we lived almost exclusively on a diet of fish, fresh veg from the market and lentils. My son even now describes his upbringing as a steady diet of lentils - lentil curry, lentil chilli, lentil burgers ....

I was attracted to my next husband as I saw him as a bit of a rebel and if truth be known I think I was still a little angry with my parents for insisting I married at 17 and I knew they'd hate him! He is the father of my 3 daughters and once they were born I refused to continue working as I knew any money I made would have just boosted his drinking funds. He was out drinking every session he could - 7 nights a week and twice on Saturdays and Sundays. That marriage came to an end when I finally realised I didn't have to live like that and I left with three young daughters under 5 and a black bin bag of clothes. He had kept us so short that I was better off on benefits and for the first time in years I was able to save! At this point I realised I needed to be able to stand on my own two feet so I applied for a degree course and was lucky enough to get a grant. I also met my present DH and we have now been together for 22 years - so third time lucky!

vhalla1478

Welcome, lindadykes and what a lovely happy ending! Hope to hear more from you. I had a drinker as a second husband, but he was a secret drinker and a binge drinker- I was too busy making money to catch on. That and the fact that he'd omitted to tell me that he had mental health problems from the age of eleven. I sound dim - but he had lost his first wife in an horrific medical negligence accident and I thought his problems stemmed from that. I had known him and his wife from the gym we all attended and was suckered in after her death. We live and learn...and I'm still alive to tell the tale.

Viv xx

janb5

There are an awful lot of us formerly married to heavy drinkers/alcoholics. Mine was the life and soul of the party and I can still hear comments made like..." let the poor man have a drink!" I used to time it and knew that 40 minutes after the last guest had left he would become aggressive and nasty.

I am convinced that he knew he was and is dependent on alcohol but would do sod all about it. What a waste!

janb5

I also think we think are all shamed by past divorces/failed relationships but we are not defined by it

Life is for living!

Lynplatinum

Hiya All

To respond first of all!:j

I have found it totally fascinating to read up on how we all ended up on here!! The commonalities of experience - divorce - exes who dont pay up - putting our children first - working full time for little monies - are just staggering! thank you all so much for responding to my vague wondering as to how we all ended up on here :A

Secondly - Cheerfulness - do try tarragon - I have some in a pot that comes up every year - the flavour with chicken is especially nice. Also it grows about 1 - 2 ft tall with lovely spike shaped leaves which looks good at the back of a collection of pots of herbs!

Thirdly the apricot jam looks good!! I have always added a couple of dried apricots to apricots in a pie filling to give it some 'wellie' so will try this 'beefed up' jam!!

Finally - i have had a wonderful weekend - very MM&M in a village near Portsmouth! Now, I apologise, to folks who live down that way but I had the impression of the area as one of industrialisation and rather down at heel. I could not have been more wrong!! There was everything - from quaint small villages with little pretty harbours to a very modern harbourside with all the mainstream eateries to the dockyard museum with the Mary Rose; the Victory; the Royal Armoury etc etc to Hayling Island - all wild and windy beaches - ideal for dog walking!

Well, it was MM&M because two people who were part of the 'tribe ' of teenagers i used to feed and look after when mine were that age (i.e. their friends who often had rubbish parenting so the kids more or less lived at mine!) are now a couple and 2 years ago moved down there! They are MM&Mers in that they got a year long ticket to the museum with on - line cheap voucher; a meal out with an NUS 20% off card; YS mince to make another meal and the lad is about to repair his car himself!! Anyway they insisted that I pay for nothing as they put it 'after all the times you fed us and all the stuff you found for our first flat!' I made them accept that I bought brunch this morning but that was not expensive. I just feel so lucky!! Lovely time doing all the above and getting to know their lovely doggie! :beer:
I m not bragging just saying that sometimes what we do in a positive way comes back to us eventually and that riches come from loving and caring people not from greed and overworking ourselves. I too have done the too many hours; getting stressed; trying to get it all! :eek: But I learnt gradually to let go and through this wonderful thread I have 'met' so many folks who have managed a more rational way of life. Even those of us enduring the stupidities of the benefits system (currently run by those with no clue as to why we can t afford stuff they take for granted (like SMART phones for example).

I sincerely hope that good things come back to you folks too! Perhaps we have some positive stories on that front too? :T
Nite all!

vulpix

Jan I don't know if I will be able to come to the meetup.We have a cottage we rent out and the boiler went over the weekend.We will know how much to repair or replace later today,but it is looking unlikely.Next year.
Lyn what a lovely weekend.Karma.
Whats that saying, always be nicer to people than you need to be,you don't know if they are in need of it.Treating people well can only be a positive.Young people come up to me all the time from my 18 years as a teaching assistant.They say things like You were so nice when ...fell over,was sick,lost my coat,had nobody to play with etc etc I know it was my job but I treated all the children as if they were my own.They don't mention the hours and hours of school work I did with them !
Vx