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A Frugal Life for Me!
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This post is going to sound harsh and I want you to take it in the spirit it is meant. Firstly I agree totally with moneywhizz. Your husband is causing you stress and I am guessing for an easy life you are just giving way to him. Not only does he have £100 a month for tobacco but he also gets £80 spending money and he does not work so makes no financial contribution to the household. Your debt has risen by almost £4k in the 4 years since you started the diary probably because your outgoings are exceeding your income.
No question of prompting or nagging. Just do the budget at the beginning of the month and allocate so much money to groceries, so much to you and so much to your DH and DS. They both have to keep within their spending money and that includes paying for tobacco. There is plenty of help available to quit. My friends husband developed lung disease after claiming he could not quit smoking but after he got ill he got no choice and had to quit as he was on oxygen. I am sure it is difficult and involves some willpower but that is no excuse not to persist. Tell him to go to his doctor.
You say you cannot imagine life without him but where else would he go? I cannot think of many (if any) women who would be happy to support a man who has not worked in 13 years. You do not have a young child any more so childcare is not the issue. I am sure he has many redeeming features but he does not sound in the least supportive and is making your life more difficult. Even a supermarket job would bring in something. What is his pension situation?I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
The 365 Day 1p Challenge 2025 #1 £667.95/£301.35
Save £12k in 2025 #1 £12000/£80000 -
Thank you both Moneywhizz and Enthusiasticsaver for your comments. I do appreciate the time you have both taken.
Regarding OH's pension, he doesn't have one which, I know, is a serious issue. This is really something we are going to have to address in the very near future.
I think what I'm going to do for now is set the budgets for personal spends and stick to them. That in itself will be a definite step forward. I need to start living within my means and get the debt down. This should be achievable and keeping this diary will definitely help.
This may seem like a copout to some but if we can start with this then I will then look to tackle the issue of OH not working.
Thanks again for the comments.
NP xNew starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0 -
nowpanicking wrote: »:So today has started off well. I got up and went straight to the gym
It's amazing how exercise can change the way you feel. All these great endorphins :j
So plan for today:
- NSD
- meal per meal planner
- ironing for the week ahead
- check bank
- housework
Might also visit parents
Have a lovely Sunday everyone.
NP x
So a good start. I've achieved everything on my list, although I didn't do the housework, OH did.
Also did a load of washing and hung on the clothes horse to dry.
I'm also trying to be healthy so have managed no chocolate or any other unhealthy treats today
Chilling out now, possibly will browse some diaries and maybe watch some Netflix.
NP xNew starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0 -
Good luck with keeping within budget and well done on achieving your list today especially avoiding the unhealthy treats. I am trying and failing to do the same.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
The 365 Day 1p Challenge 2025 #1 £667.95/£301.35
Save £12k in 2025 #1 £12000/£80000 -
enthusiasticsaver wrote: »Good luck with keeping within budget and well done on achieving your list today especially avoiding the unhealthy treats. I am trying and failing to do the same.
Thanks! Avoiding the treats is especially hard just now as there are still various chocolates etc lying around the house from Christmas!!!New starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0 -
Managed to haul DS out of bed so he's in the shower just now. First day back to school so he is not a happy boy!
Packed lunch organised for me (hm soup) and DS taking money today which will come out of my purse funds.
Plan for today:
- gym
- healthy eating
- meals per meal planner
- no other spends apart from DS lunch money
- Post next pays budget here later
- make hm soup ready for tea tomorrow
Think that's it for now. Happy Monday everyone
NP xNew starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0 -
nowpanicking wrote: »Plan for today:
- gym
- healthy eating
- meals per meal planner
- no other spends apart from DS lunch money
- Post next pays budget here later
- make hm soup ready for tea tomorrow
So I've done everything, just need to post budget for next pay period which is from Thursday this week.
Funds left in purse = £9.45
Groceries budget pot = £16.73
Petrol pot = £0.42
Pay day in 3 days.
Purse funds remaining on Thursday will go into change tub for holiday spends.
Any funds remaining in pots will go to cc's.
NP xNew starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0 -
Changing one thing at a time is good. As long as you can your budget to balance, with debt repayments included, then any extra money that comes your way can be split between saving and debt to bring it down quicker. Let's hope your debt is a good bit lower by the end of this year. Keep going.0
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I've got a 4 Weekly spend budget of £710. This is on top of savings towards holidays and birthday/Christmas presents which I'll put into savings accounts each pay. Towards the cc's I'll pay £400 per pay with overpayments from each of my budget pots if underspent, with the exception of the house fund which will roll over if not spent.
I have a spreadsheet with the annual budget, broken into each pay period which is 4 Weekly. I also use the Goodbudget app to track the £710. All bills are paid for from the main account and the £710 is transferred to a separate account on pay day.
Now, this all sounds good in theory but I don't usually stick to it. The budget pots or envelopes that I have in the app end up being not being stuck to so I'm determined to get a grip and stick to the budgets!!!
So, the budget for the next 4 weeks is:
£217 groceries
£80 petrol
£110 tobacco
£80 my personal spends
£80 OH personal spends
£23 DS pocket money
£50 family days out
£20 school dinners
£50 house
£710 TOTAL
Goodbudget app envelopes have been updated with the revised budgets so ready to get started from Thursday!!! :T
NP xNew starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0 -
Thanks Moneywhizz! I really am determined this time. Just have to stay focused and stick to the plan!New starting debt 30/12/2018 £30,164.76:eek:
Revised debt £29,361.70 2.66% paid0
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