Finances when separating - advice needed please

MoD

It would appear that my husband will be leaving in the New Year as he has decided, after nearly 25 years together, that he wants to be on his own.

I realise that I will need to get proper legal advice but, with Christmas and New Year, this won't be practical/possible for a few weeks.

In the meantime I have a few questions about how finances work when separated and wonder whether someone more knowledgeable than I out there might be able to help.

H works full-time and earns about £17500pa which includes alot of overtime. I work part-time but at a higher hourly rate. I earn about 2/3 what he does. (I have looked at getting a full-time job but, after increased tax/NI and travelling costs would be worse off.) We have one child who is now 18 and at Uni.

We have a joint account that our wages go into and all household expenses come out of. H has stated that he has instructed his employer to pay his salary into a new account he has opened from next month. He has said that he will continue to give me money towards the mortgage.

My first question is, should I accept money from him? if so, how much and what are the implications of doing so?

Part of me thinks that he shouldn't be able to just walk away from his liabilities/responsibilities (joint mortgage) so I was thinking that maybe I should accept half of the mortgage payment and associated costs (life insurance, buildings insurance). On the other hand though it is my heartfelt wish to somehow keep this house, if it is in any way possible (it may not be, in the long run), and so do not want to accept this from him if it would increase the share he would be entitled to. I could just about afford to pay this myself if it would put me in a better position regarding the house in the long run, although it would mean living very frugally.

My second question is related to savings. We currently have a small 'emergency fund' which I assume we will split 50/50. H has always been rubbish at money management and so always left household finances to me, I tried to involve him many times but he never wanted to know. I anticipate that once we separate he will spend every penny he has as whatever money he has ever had has run through his hands like water (and he can never identify where it has disappeared to). I am, by nature, a saver and like to know where every penny goes.
My concern is that, having already had 50% of our current savings, would he be further entitled to a share of my 50% plus anything I manage to save after separating? Also would he be entitled to a share of any money I might receive as a gift or inheritance after separating?

I also have an ISA which contains what remains of an inheritance I received a few years ago. At the time I gave H and DS an amount to spend as they wished (H bought a motorbike), spent some on home improvements, put some towards a big 'once in a lifetime' family holiday and put what remains in the ISA for DS in the future (eg towards a house deposit or wedding etc).
Is H entitled to a share of this?

I have an endowment policy (taken out just before I met H) which is about to mature. Will he be entitled to a share of this too?

I have many other questions...... But these are the main ones concerning me atm. I have tried researching these issues online, but everything seems very vague.

Thank you if you've managed to get to the end of this..... And for any knowledge you might be able/willing to share

bouicca21

Starting point is 50/50 but in reality every case is different. Try posting info on the wikivorce forum.

Yes your inheritance comes into play if it has been kept on a joint account or is necessary in order to achieve a reasonable split. Yes the savings are a joint asset, as is the endowment policy.

Get your hands on every last piece of financial information you can. Don't forget pension pots.

Strictly speaking if there is just the one 18 year old then both of you only need a one bedroom place, though I suspect a judge would be sympathetic to 2 bedrooms in order to provide your child with a base in vacation time.

Can you afford to buy your husband out? An amicable settlement is the best way to go - fighting through the courts costs a fortune.

MoD

bouicca21 wrote: »

Starting point is 50/50 but in reality every case is different. Try posting info on the wikivorce forum.

Thanks, will take a look

bouicca21 wrote: »

Yes your inheritance comes into play if it has been kept on a joint account or is necessary in order to achieve a reasonable split. Yes the savings are a joint asset, as is the endowment policy.

The inheritance is in an account (ISA) in my sole name.

bouicca21 wrote: »

Get your hands on every last piece of financial information you can. Don't forget pension pots.

We both have small pensions but I need to investigate their current values.

bouicca21 wrote: »

Strictly speaking if there is just the one 18 year old then both of you only need a one bedroom place, though I suspect a judge would be sympathetic to 2 bedrooms in order to provide your child with a base in vacation time.

There wouldn't be enough equity to buy two one bedroom places.

bouicca21 wrote: »

Can you afford to buy your husband out? An amicable settlement is the best way to go - fighting through the courts costs a fortune.

I am racking my brains to try and find a way to make buying him out a possibility, hence not wanting to accept anything that might increase his entitlement.

TBagpuss

Accepting payment from him towards the mortgage in the short term is unlikely to make any significant difference.

I would suggest that you make arrangments to speak to an independent mortgage advisor to et an idea of what you might be able to borrow in your own right, to look at whether you might be able to take on the exisiting mortgage, to get a new mortgage in your sole name or how much you would be able to borrow (and how much you could afford) if the house were sold and you were to buy another, smaller property.

In deciding what settlement is fair, a court (if it went that far) has to consider what is fair and reasonable taking into account all the circumstances.

Your inheritance is not 'ring-fenced' so he could calim against it, but you could certainly argue that it would be unfoar for him to have a share of it as it was never mixed in with the joint assets, and came to yuou from outside the marriage.

In relation to the endowment you could propose that you work out what proportion was built up while you were together -however, if you have been toether nearly 25 years presumably (unless it is unusually long) it had only been running a year or two when you got together? A court is likely to treat that as joint.

Joint savings - if you split them 50/50 then a court would take that into account, however, if he moves out and rents, and you stay in the house, he could argue that he has used 'his' share of the money to cover basic living expenses and that should not be treated in the same way as if they had been spent on non-essentials.

Mojisola

TBagpuss wrote: »

Your inheritance is not 'ring-fenced' so he could calim against it, but you could certainly argue that it would be unfoar for him to have a share of it as it was never mixed in with the joint assets, and came to yuou from outside the marriage.

You could claim it would be unfair for him to have a share but I don't think that would be accepted.

After 25 years of marriage, everything you both have would be counted as 'marital assets'.

With no dependent children, you would be looking at a 50/50 split unless there were very good reasons why one of you should end up with more.

You will both save a lot if you can agree between yourselves. Once you both get solicitors arguing about assets, the bills will shoot up.

There's a lot of reading on http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/

MoD

Mojisola wrote: »

You could claim it would be unfair for him to have a share but I don't think that would be accepted.

After 25 years of marriage, everything you both have would be counted as 'marital assets'.

With no dependent children, you would be looking at a 50/50 split unless there were very good reasons why one of you should end up with more.

You will both save a lot if you can agree between yourselves. Once you both get solicitors arguing about assets, the bills will shoot up.

There's a lot of reading on http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/

What counts as a good reason?

I'm trying to be fair but don't see why I or our child (who, although technically an adult will still be financially and emotionally damaged by this selfishness) should be disadvantaged more than is necessary.

I supported him for the first few years of our marriage when he was in and out of work, I paid off the debts he brought to our relationship, I gave up my career (earning half as much again as he did) when we had our child and now, when I'm too old to rebuild any kind of career for myself and we should, finally, be starting to reap the rewards of all the hard years and look forward to a bit of financial security, he decides to wreck everything and swan off to 'live his own life' without any warning or discussion.

I feel like I would have been better off if he'd left years ago. We wouldn't have made the plans we did, I wouldn't have become so emotionally attached to our home and I would have been able to rebuild a career instead of taking a succession of part-time jobs that fitted around my family responsibilities.

Should I just gift the money to DS now? H knows it's intended for him in the future, it's never been considered 'our' money.

If we are able to come to agreement ourselves regarding finances, how likely is it to be accepted by the court?

Mojisola

MoD wrote: »

I supported him for the first few years of our marriage when he was in and out of work, I paid off the debts he brought to our relationship, I gave up my career (earning half as much again as he did) when we had our child and now, when I'm too old to rebuild any kind of career for myself and we should, finally, be starting to reap the rewards of all the hard years and look forward to a bit of financial security, he decides to wreck everything and swan off to 'live his own life' without any warning or discussion.

Things like one spouse being a stay-at-home parent so that's a good starting point.

bloolagoon

Mojisola wrote: »

Things like one spouse being a stay-at-home parent so that's a good starting point.

Op earns a higher salary than her OH. She's the one with greater earning potential so I can't see that argument personally.

OP you are going to find it hard on such a low income if your mortgage is large, you won't get WTC as you don't work enough hours. So you will either need to sell or come to an agreement.

My friend bought her OH out (sort of) with £20,000 from an inheritence, this gave him money for a deposit. They then had a deed of trust drawn up regarding the equity, so he was entitled to the remaining equity plus interest once sold, but no capital value increases. His name was then removed from mortgage and paid his half until this happened. However, they both had capacity to do this. It's so personal you need advice.

Would your ISA share buy him out and allow you to take on the mortgage on your own if you went full time?

MoD

bloolagoon wrote: »

Op earns a higher salary than her OH. She's the one with greater earning potential so I can't see that argument personally.

No, although my hourly rate is more than his I work part-time. He earns half as much again as I do, although this includes alot of overtime, but even without the OT (which is compulsory for him during busy periods) he still earns more than me.
My future earning potential is significantly less than his. I gave up my career (was earning significantly more than him, at the time) 18 years ago to be a SAHM.
Getting a full-time job would mean travelling to the nearest town and, after tax/NI and travel costs I'd be worse off. I've been in my current job almost 13 years but I have no formal qualifications beyond 'O' levels. I'm too old, don't have the necessary skills and can't afford to retrain for a new career now.

bloolagoon wrote: »

OP you are going to find it hard on such a low income if your mortgage is large, you won't get WTC as you don't work enough hours. So you will either need to sell or come to an agreement.

Mortgage is quite reasonable and (according to lenders online calculator) I think there's a chance I could take it over, albeit with an increased term. I work 32 hours a week, term time only.

bloolagoon wrote: »

My friend bought her OH out (sort of) with £20,000 from an inheritence, this gave him money for a deposit. They then had a deed of trust drawn up regarding the equity, so he was entitled to the remaining equity plus interest once sold, but no capital value increases. His name was then removed from mortgage and paid his half until this happened. However, they both had capacity to do this. It's so personal you need advice.

that's interesting, thanks

bloolagoon wrote: »

Would your ISA share buy him out and allow you to take on the mortgage on your own if you went full time?

no, not enough by a long chalk, assuming H is entitled to any significant % of the equity.
There's no chance of going full-time in my current (secure) job as, although I work 32 hours, it's term time only.
Getting a full-time job would mean travelling to the nearest town and, after tax/NI and travel costs I'd be worse off

19lottie82

in fairness, the OP has a higher earning potential than her STBXH, and he hardly has a high flying career, he earns 17.5k a year which is way less than the national average wage.

IMO I can't see why anything more than a 50/50 split would be appropriate here.

MoD

19lottie82 wrote: »

in fairness, the OP has a higher earning potential than her STBXH, and he hardly has a high flying career, he earns 17.5k a year which is way less than the national average wage.

IMO I can't see why anything more than a 50/50 split would be appropriate here.

Could you explain why you think this please?