I thought work was suppose to pay!

AngelOfTheNorth

bloolagoon wrote: »

The ops child is already in school. Nursery confused me but I think it's like my child's school where they use the nursery room for wrap around, but her child is in school and has been for some time.

Is he? Tbh the closer a child is to 18, the more important it is to think about what's more advantageous for you in the long term. I guess he must still be quite young, and I'd probably prefer to do part time, in her shoes. Equally though, these days most parents of young children want to be able to continue giving them a home and support once they're 18. If that's an aspiration for her, as it is for me, it's necessary to think about how this can be achieved once state support stops.

FBaby

The reality of part-time work is that you are rarely giving yourself a fair chance of career progession to the level that you would feel it is worth it compared to being on benefits.

The irony is that even when you get to the point that you are earning a very good income and you could afford to go part-time, you can't because the job requires someone to do it full-time!

Helen224488

You could also consider working in education term time only 39 weeks per year saves tons in childcare and you get to spend every school hol with your kids. When I was a single parent I started working in a school as a receptionist 20hrs per week term time only then I moved up to better paid jobs within education and now work 37.5hrs a week term time only.

I now have a partner so we only claim child benefit but previously I was able to work 20hrs per week, pick my child up from school, breakfast club in morn but every school hol together, for me a happy medium. Maybe something to consider.

iammumtoone

FBaby wrote: »

You struggle with home life, but make your personal life suffer rather than your son.

That is unfair and un-callled for. I do not have a personal life at all, I never did have much of one but for the last year I haven't seen any of my friends I am either at work, with my son or doing stuff like shopping.

iammumtoone

My son is 7 sorry for the confusion about 'nursery' it is a nursery but they take older children as well. To be honest I don't rate it whilst I am happy that he is safe there, there is no interaction with the children they are just left to it. The other day when I picked him up I was told that he has been just rolling around the floor all the time! I did have to ask why he was just left to do that. All through the holidays he spent his time in one room they never took them out on trips or anything. There is no where else for him to go it is the only place that does the pick up and collection from his school.

I am grateful for the helpful advise but have to do what is best for us both and that is part time work. I just can't do this anymore I cry most mornings on the way to work, it is stressful when he has a tantrum before we leave for work sometimes I have to drag him screaming to the nursery otherwise I will be late for work. I do actually enjoy work when I get there but its busy. I then collect him and most nights he has another tantrum, it is just too much hard work I am trying to concentrate on what I say to him as he does have an issue with language to avoid a tantrum but at the same time I have to think about what I need to do at work the next day otherwise my actions or lack of them will cause issues. I do know that when he gets to high school I will have to look for full time work but he wont need his mum so much then, he is clearly distressed I think he just needs me more at the moment than I am able to do.

nannytone_2

are you sure there is no bullying going on>
also has your sone been assessed for special needs, as having such regular tantrums at the age of 7 seems a bit odd to me. by that age you should be able to reason with him, and he should accept the reasons that you need to work without having a meltdown

iammumtoone

Yes I know that he shouldn't be having these tantrums, he has always had them since he was young.

It seems that because he doesn't have them at school it isn't seen as a issue he isn't any trouble at school just the opposite he keeps him self to himself and causes no hassle like the nursery instance personally I don't think he should have been left to roll around on the floor for ages but it seems in there and school if children are not disrupting anyone else they aren't taken much notice off.

The school are however looking at him to see if further investigations are needed as he does not sit still he is always on the go or figidity but they have said to me he is not priority as this is not effecting anyone else in the class. The children that they work with first are the ones that scream and shout and disrupt the classroom (if only they could see ds at home)

He could well be being bullied, I don't know. I always try to ask how he is or how school went, he will not talk about himself he gets very upset if questioned about anything to do with himself. I have considered this but if he wont tell me unfortunately I can't help. I mentioned to the school they said they hadn't seen any signs of it and unless he says anything they can't do much. I dont think he is as he may not say anything but I am sure some of the other kids would tell their mums if they saw anything and I would find out that way.

nannytone_2

if he were mine i would voice my concerns to the GP. i dont think it is the job affecting him if he has always been this way, and being home with him may make it worse, as you say he doesnt act out when he is at school

bloolagoon

I'm a mum please book an appt with your GP - no emergency just when it suits both to talk things through. This thread and the one I knew your child was the same age as my youngest (SAT thread) give indications that possibly (only possibly as I certainly don't know from a tiny amount of posts of his life) that there may be reasons he is under stimulated at school, responds better to structure and throwing tantrums at nursery environment.

Could be nothing and just his personality but I'd have an appt if you have other examples that cause concern you haven't shared.

What's your definition of a tantrum? My youngest - who isn't keen on wrap around says "oh mummy really! Yuk, you owe me big style". Not panicking you as I don't know your son but privately consider if you need to see your GP.

NYM

I read the post you've deleted. I was going to respond but felt that you were not really expecting a reply and it was more about you bearing your soul. In view of what you wrote in your deleted post, it might be best for both you and your child for you to go part time.

I truly wish you and your son the best x